My way of coping with tonights episode. May turn into something, I don't know. If so, I won't be writing it. I leave that to FloodFeSTeR
The first time he carried her, there was a cloud of mirth in the air. A desperate tie to what little hope he had left. Especially after losing everything they had worked for at the prison.
The warmth, her warmth, radiated through him. Made him smile despite himself, made him realize it could be worse.
He could be alone. Again.
She was laughing, clinging to him, forehead pressed against the side of his throat. Everything felt ok. They could do this. They could find the others. They could rebuild. They were good at that by now, this wasn't the end.
He smiled despite himself, enjoying a feast of still well preserved food, soda. It was like the world hadn't touched the pantry. Eyes danced around each other, her smile still lingering while he grew serious, lips parted to confess what he normally couldn't.
Then the cans moved, he cursed the dog. Blocked by Walkers, telling her to run. He regretted it all, mostly opening that door. To see her belongings strewn on the ground, car speeding away, he prayed for the end.
...
The last time he carried her, there was no mirth. No warmth. Barely an inkling of hope. Her body was limp, she smelt of burned grass. Blood leaked to his elbow, he didn't care. It was hard enough to walk with tears clouding his vision.
Eyes strayed to him, the unmistakable look of despair only rivalled by Maggie's; her baby sister, gone. Without her able to even say goodbye, see her smile one last time.
While they coaxed Maggie into the truck, Daryl clung to Beth at the tailgate. She was held in his vice, fingers threaded in bloody blonde strands. He wasn't ready to let go. Not yet. Merle, he could forgive. Hershel, he could forgive. This...this was Beth. He could never forgive this.
Rick is calling, everyone is ready. Time to wrap her in a cold sheet, bury her in another grave; they had gotten so good at digging graves.
His lips press against her forehead, eyes glaring up at the faces lingering from an upstairs window, and he remembers the first time he carried her.