A/N: This story is almost completely canon, it is told from Narcissa Malfoy's point of view and begins with the scene of Harry's "death" in the Forbidden Forest. This will be short, maybe one or two more long chapters after this one. I will update every day. Enjoy!
I don't own Harry Potter, any of the characters, or story lines.
She huddled in the forest, sore arms wrapped around her bruised knees. She stared straight ahead, unable to meet her husband's eyes. She knew that if she did, the panic that he felt would mirror her own and then the last remaining shards of her self control would be lost. And that would mean certain death for both of them.
Narcissa had never felt so helpless, so defeated. She didn't even have a wand to defend herself, not that it would have done any good at this point. She was not sorry that she had pressed her wand into Draco's reluctant hands hours ago, he needed the protection it provided more than she did at this point. Draco. Her thoughts settled on him yet again, and the panic and fear threatened to bubble up to the surface. She had to dig her nails into her palms to keep from crying out, keep herself from dashing headlong into the forest and toward the castle to find him. The only thing that stopped her was the knowledge that she would be dead before she took two steps. The Dark Lord was already furious with them, and was taking a vindictive pleasure in watching her and Lucius suffer over the unknown fate of their only son. Right now, the Dark Lord was pacing angrily, his foul mood causing fear amongst them all. Even Bellatrix, ever worshipful, was keeping a safe distance. The Potter boy, whose destruction had haunted Voldemort for years, was imminent. All he had to do was show himself. Voldemort had given him an hour, and it was almost up. Narcissa watched warily as Voldemort stopped pacing and moved to the edge of the clearing. He looked downward, putting his hands over his face, shoulders bent forward. It was a moment of weakness, fear, and frustration-human emotions that she had yet to see from him. She allowed herself one quick glance at Lucius, and he looked back at her wide eyed.
"I was sure he would come." The Dark Lord spoke suddenly, shattering the silence in the clearing. Even the captured half breed, Hagrid, stopped struggling against his bindings and waited to see what would happen next. "It appears I was…mistaken." Narcissa swallowed hard, terrified of the deceptive calm tone to his voice. She knew instinctively that he was angry beyond reason, beyond caring. The last time he had lost complete control of himself like this, he had killed everyone in his path. She and Lucius had just barely escaped his wrath that night. She had thanked Merlin that Draco, at least, had been safely back at Hogwarts by then. She had a fleeting thought of slipping away into the darkness, unnoticed, crawling on her hands and knees if she had to.
"You weren't." A strong voice reached them all from the other side of the clearing. Narcissa got to her feet slowly, disbelief and shock making her jaw slacken for a moment. Potter had come after all. She stared at him, but he only had eyes for the Dark Lord. It was if the rest of them were merely ghosts, black shades prowling around the edges of this night. Then Bellatrix shrieked with insane laughter shattering that illusion. Voldemort had spun around, and now faced Potter with his head cocked to one side, as if he were unsure how to proceed.
Narcissa had to admire the boy's courage. He had to have known, as he journeyed here alone, that he would not leave alive. And yet he had come, and now faced Voldemort without his wand. There was no evidence of fear on his face, but when her eyes moved to his palms, clenched slightly at his sides, she thought she detected a tremble.
"Harry! No! What do you think yer doing?" Hagrid cried out, renewing his efforts to break free.
"Silence!" Yaxley growled, aiming a silencing charm at the half giant. Narcissa watched Harry's façade almost crumble as he noticed his bound friend.
"Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived." Voldemort smirked as he raised his wand. Potter did not answer, but continued facing him, unblinking, waiting. "Avada Kedavra!" The green light shot out of Voldemort's outstretched wand, snaking a deathly path toward the boy. Narcissa did not want to watch but she could not look away. She almost wished that Potter would look at her, would see in her eyes that she, from the barest depths of her soul, was a mother and would have stood in his place in a heartbeat if it meant her son would be spared.
The green light struck Potter, and he spun once before falling to the ground in a crumpled heap. Narcissa closed her eyes and waited for the cries of triumph, the screams of pleasure that their side had finally won. But instead, there were worried whispered and Bellatrix moaned, "My Lord! My Lord…" Narcissa felt Lucius grip her arm and she opened her eyes to see Voldemort also laying motionless on the ground where he had stood a moment ago.
Now was her chance…Narcissa knew that at this moment of distraction, she should be making her escape into the forest. But for a reason initially unknown to her, she couldn't take her eyes off of Harry Potter's inert body. He was only a boy, Draco's age in fact. She and Lilly Potter must have been pregnant at the same time, both reveled in the joy of their newborn sons within months of each other, watched them grow, take their first steps…hot tears coursed down Narcissa's face and she quickly wiped them away. It would not do her any good to attract unwanted attention at this point. Still, she could not stop picturing Draco laying in that same position, lost to her forever, and the pain nearly brought her to her knees.
Bellatrix was still moaning and crying, but now there was some relief in her voice. "Let me…" she murmured, and Narcissa saw her reaching out her arm to a feebly stirring Voldemort. He shook his head and threw off her arm.
"I do not require assistance." He said coldly, and Bellatrix backed away quickly. As the Dark Lord struggled to his feet, he never took his eyes from Harry. "The boy…is he dead?" He asked to no one in particular. They all looked at each other nervously, not sure how to answer. Suddenly, Voldemort swung his wand in her direction and Narcissa did not even have time to avoid the stinging red light as it hit her. "You…check." Voldemort commanded as she cried out in pain. She felt Lucius growl beside her and just had time to grip his arm and shake her head frantically.
Narcissa made her way slowly over to the body, trying to delay the time it took her to reach him. At any moment, she expected another jolt of pain to be aimed her way, but none came. She crouched low over Harry, feeling the bile rising in her throat. She had seen much death over the past couple of years, but this one…somehow the wrongness of all of it seemed to overwhelm her. She wanted to throw herself between Voldemort and Harry's lifeless body and make it all stop. But there was nothing she could do. She was wandless, powerless, as much of a prisoner as the grief stricken half giant behind her. As if in slow motion, she slid her hand under Harry's robes to feel his still chest.
She was shocked to feel the steady vibration, the unmistakable pounding of life beneath her outstretched hand. Narcissa suppressed a startled gasp and bent low over Harry, using her long hair to hide them both from view. On the pretense of listening for a breath, she whispered, "Draco…is he alive? Is he in the castle?" She was terrified of his answer, knowing that the odds were her only son was gone…
"Yes." Harry breathed back, staying true to his reputation for putting others ahead of himself. By all rights, he should consider her his enemy, use this last moment of his life to hurt her. Narcissa felt relief and joy course through her entire being, and wanted to cry and pound the ground with both fists at the same time. She breathed deep, shutting down her emotions. Her only response to Harry's word was to clench her hand, momentarily digging her nails into his flesh.
Narcissa removed her hand and quickly got to her feet, facing the Death Eaters and Voldemort head on. Yes, she was wandless and powerless, but here was her chance, a final opportunity for redemption. She looked the Dark Lord, the being who had not had the capacity to understand that he had changed her allegiance forever as soon as he had threatened her son. Her gaze unwavering, she announced in the most triumphant voice she could muster, "He is dead!"
Narcissa was immediately forgotten and pushed aside as the Death Eaters cheered and screamed in victory. She fought her way through the crowd back toward Lucius, who looked down at her questioningly, his blackened eyes boring into hers. She did not blink or look away as he used his Legilimency to look deep inside of her, the only spell he could perform without a wand. He gripped her hands tightly for a moment and then let go quickly, the only indication that he also knew their son was safe.
"You see? The Boy Who Lived is dead and no man alive can threaten me now!" Voldemort was calling to the death eaters, who stood back as he raised his wand and pointed it toward the body. "Crucio!" Narcissa gulped in fear, she had been afraid of this. She wished with all of her might that she knew enough wandless magic to shield Harry from the pain that the spell was sure to cause him. She had, in desperation, cast the only spell she could perform without a wand-a useless little bit of glamour that would probably not hold up under close scrutiny. She had previously used it to cover a new wrinkle or stray gray hair, she had never attempted to direct it toward someone else. But she had tried, feeling the magic course through her hand as she clutched Harry's chest, and hoped that it was enough to disguise the beating of his heart and the telltale pounding of the pulse in his neck.
She didn't want to watch, and yet she couldn't look away. The Dark Lord was using the Crucio spell to fling Harry's body into the air again and again, and slam him into the ground, causing Narcissa to inwardly wince each time. To his credit, he did not move or give any indication that he was alive. She did not know how he could do it, she had seen the effects of that spell first hand and witnessed the horrific pain that it caused. She suddenly had a gruesome thought streak through her mind…what if this wasn't enough for Voldemort? What if he decided to cut off Harry's head and spill his blood across the forest floor?
But, fortunately, that idea did not occur to him, or he was in too much of a hurry to return to the castle. The Dark Lord freed Hagrid and instructed the half giant to pick up Harry. Yaxley slammed Harry's glasses back onto his face roughly, laughing in pleasure. Hagrid was crying as he picked up Harry gently, cradling him in his powerful arms. Voldemort hit him with another spell, forcing him to move forward. The Death Eaters fell into step behind Voldemort and Hagrid, and Narcissa and Lucius brought up the rear. Slowly, they all made their way through the forest and back to the place that Narcissa was desperate to get to…Hogwarts Castle.