warning (lyrics used through out this story is story before the calm by epic and jess moluaske) i do not own hetalia and its rated m for a reason
you look over at your brother and smiled you to where playing in your small sandbox laughing and having time then you look down and see the sand was soaked with blood "ki?" you looked over to see him on the ground panting you looked at the direction you herd the gunshot and saw Ludwig playing with a sniper rifle than you ran and got your mom and dad but no one was there when you got back you looked around and screamed "kiku!" at the top of your lungs but it was to late no one could find him
you ignorged the rest of the countries as they argued and played your music in you ears "hey kiku are you coming to the party this afternoon?" you waved Alfred off
"i have to get home moms making casserole" every body thought you where kiku hearing his name still pains you but everyday you dress as a boy and go to the conferences and do stuff your brother would have done you mom helps you put on the itcy wig that resembles kiku's hairstyle you dad helps you constrict your chest and teaches you how to speak with a deep voice all to make sure no one reconizes your a girl and that your brother died when you were 5. everyone gave up looking for him and they filled you as the one missing since you looked like a boy back than anyway.
feli pouted "come on kiku you never come to the parties if you don't i'll make Germany force you" your eyes must have shown the rage that you had pint up on the inside because he shut up immediately and ran away
you knew he was going to make germany do it if you didn't so you looked at al "i'll be there but only for a little while"
alfred litteraly jumped up and touched the roof "yeah kiku's coming to a party kiku's coming to a party" he chanted and the whole UN looked over at you and started to mumbling to the person next to him alfred looked at you smileling "oh yeah i have a girl i want you to meet" thats when you finally rolled your eyes stuffed your headphones back into your ears and stormed off home
when you where little you always wanted to be the girl you saw in class but you couldn't because you were forced to be a boy of your past. kiku honda the strong one of the family who never whined never cried but was there for you when your dad dragged you out back and beat you with a bamboo stick
***** later at the party******
Alfred pulled you in front of a girl known as Mei "kiku this is Mei"
you nodded at her "nice to meet you"
mei shook your hand and smiled a blush crept over her eyes. in a sense you kinda envied her that she could be that girl but just acted like you didnt notice it "excues me my throat is dry" you made a bee line to the punch table to get away from having to reject another girl. your dad wanted you to date them but you just didnt have it in you to ruin another girl's life because Germany ruined yours. the one and only person who knew your secret was maria but she didn't know how to help she was so scared of your father.
"_" you looked shocked everyone thought you were dead who - you turned around to see Germany
"My sister has long sence disapeered and was assumed dead a long time ago " you still used your male filled with voice but it was slowly slipping away Ludwig pulled you to a empty room with you fighting the whoe way "hey let go what are you doing let me go"
"_ you can stop fighting i know its you" his German accent made you want to gag as you saw the vision of your brother being shot over and over again
"i hate you" you finaly let your male voice slip compleately Nī-San" you punched him and your wig fell off and your long hair fell down to your knees it wasn't secured for the same way you would have if it was a training "you fucking bastard you should die too"
he held his cheek and stood up "_ calm down your brother isn't dead" you looked at him shocked and than you looked to the corner where you saw an adult version of your older brother "ki?"
he looked at you and nodded "yes _"
"No you cruel German you found someone who looks like him" you punched Ludwig again and backed against a wall the kiku look alike walked closer to you and called your childhood nick name "_ please its me please Maria knows just please believe that its me" he walked closer and hugged you. you felt the black walls of the room close in and you passed out
you woke up to your room your wig was on your the ground beside your futon and there was a wet cloth on your head you herd your parents talking in the kitchen and then you herd kiku's voice answering. he was explaining what happened. "we were playing in the the sand box when i felt a bullet perice my skin. ludwig saw what he had done and so had _ she ran to get you but Ludwig got me first and took me to his hospital where i lost a lot of skin but they managed to save me but i fell into a coma i woke up three years ago but and he helped get me back into shape i just got here 3 days ago when i herd that there was already a Kiku honda. at first i was confused but then i realized what you did. i had Ludwig help me set up the party and all of that as a distraction so i could confirm my suspicions"
you got of the futon and craweld over to the cracked door was it really ki? "Nī-San" you whispered and the family looked at you
he walked over to you helped you stand up and hugged you hard "i missed you"
"Nī-San I'm sorry i left you" you leaned on him
"Kansei _ it will be better soon" he smiled "tomorrow you get to dress as a girl we will make a announcement to tell everyone you are back"
"but i never left" you frowned feeling like a child which you haven't in a while
"but i have"he smiled at you "and you have a excellent duty of playing dress up but tomorrow you get to be you" you smiled back at him
the next day you wore your hair down with a kimono your mom made you and walked with your brother to the UN meeting "kiku I'm nervous"
"why_?" he stopped causing you to bump into him "they have known you for this long"
"because they have known YOU not me" you looked down at the ground fiddling with the edge of your hair dressed as a guy you felt fearless like you could rule the world but now you felt like you had to depend on your brother like old times
he laughed surprisingly "just act like you normally do" you nod as you both walk into the building
"Kiku" you herd a Taiwanese voice and turned around seeing Mei walking toward you "where did you go yesterday"
"uh i had to do something well we can thank Germany for this but i had to find my sister" she smiled at you and waved. you three walked into the meeting room where he pulled you and the German man you still hated into the center the countries stared from you and japan and you saw Feli's face look as red as his favorite tomatoes. "I just wanted you to know that after 17 years of waiting patience we have found my little sister thanks to my friend Ludwig" they clapped energetically for him even though he was the one that started this whole mess
you came out of your hiding from behind him and did what your brother would have done if he was in your situation (techinally he was but he didnt have to speak) "Arigatō i thank all of you for your prayers and those of you who haven't given up on me" your brother pulled you his seat and you waited for the meeting to end the headphones playing in your ears
if there was a way to create perfect
make ya laugh feel so damn worth it
i'd erase i'd your black and blue
i couldn't find a way to stop your hurting
so i'm gonna rip open those curtains
so we can see we can see the best of you
its just a storm before the calm