A Letter Home
By: DangerMouse
A Filk to the tune of that "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah" song by Allan Sherman.
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Darling Mother, Dearest Father,
Here I am at your Alma Mater!
Hogwarts is very entertaining,
'Though I wish there was a course for Dark Arts training.
In our Charms class we float a feather,
And Herbology's not much better.
The Defense class is a real joke,
Our Professor acts like he might just have a stroke.
Just last week I saw a dragon,
It was living in Hagrid's cabin!
I saw Potter try to ditch it,
Told a teacher, got detention, can you fix it?
Save me please, oh Mother, Father,
I can't stand that Harry Potter,
They'll take me out in the forest where,
I might just meet the Slytherin heir!
Save me please, I promise I will get revenge,
Our family name I will avenge,
I swear I'll find a way
To make that Potter boy pay.
Dearest family, how I miss you.
I'll be glad when the year is through.
It will be nice to have my own room.
Can we discuss the purchase of a racing broom?
Now the night is fast approaching,
I hear Goyle has started snoring.
If I sleep now, I'll feel better,
Mother, Father I look forward to your letter.
The End
A/N: Heh. Too much work, not enough sanity to go around. This is where this thing came from. Drop a line, let me know if I made you laugh. It would brighten my day. ^_^