Needles. Clean sheets. Nice nurses who speak in an overly kind tone. Visitors who wear forced smiles on their faces because they don't want me to see their tears.
I hate it.
I'm nothing to cry over! I'm getting better every day, and soon I'll be up and walking around just like I want to be!
My friends can stop having to endure these horrible chemical smells that burn the inside of my nose and we can go back to that ice cream shop on the corner. My brother can stop trying to force that smile on his face when it so obviously is uncomfortable for him. My parents can keep their blood in their own body and won't have to give it to me.
I'm fine! I'm too awesome to die!
A knock at the door interrupts the boy's mantra in his head. Another peppy nurse sticks her head in, her cherry lips covered by a breathing mask. "Mr. Beilschimidt, you have visitors. The usual crowd, plus a few." With a nod from him, she retreats to the hall and he hears her voice change to a playful scolding. "Make sure to keep your voices down. I don't want to get complaints from patients on the fifth floor again."
The boy laughs to himself. He was on the second floor of the large hospital. He still believes that those people were mistaken in identifying them, but they swore up and down it was his friend's accented voices that had disrupted them.
"Hola mi amigo, we've come to relieve your boredom!"
The boy breaks out in a wide grin. "Hey 'Tonio, nice timing! I was just thinking about ordering a single chip from room service to mess with the kitchens." Several voices join in with a laugh. Antonio smiles widely and runs over to his bed end, hand in hand with his reluctant boyfriend who looks none too happy to be here, but nevertheless nods a silent greeting to him.
"Dude come on, you can come up with better than that!" His loud friend Alfred shouts from the back of the small crowd, shoving the others out of the way and hi-fiving him with a resounding 'smack' sound.
"Hey, be careful you git, that sounded like it hurt! Francis let go of me!" The boy laughs obnoxiously when his other best friend, an heir to a French businessman, grabs his not so touchy-feely girlfriend's waist, much to her dismay.
"Aww, Alice, I thought you liked it when Francis-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Gilbert Beilschimidt, or I will kill you right here and now, right after I'm done with this git!" Alice yells over her shoulder as she gets into a mini wrestling match with the touchy French boy.
Gilbert just laughs harder, hard enough to cause his lungs to protest and send him into a coughing fit lasting minutes on end. Never ending hacks manage to shut the entire bickering group up, which was usually an impossible feat, and a small, quiet girl rushes to his side and rubs his back comfortingly.
Once the fit dies down and Gilbert can look back up, he notices six pairs of eyes piercing his own red ones and, unnerved by the change in mood, beams with a wide, brilliant smile. "Sorry, just swallowed the wrong way, carry on with your fighting!"
His comment lightens the mood, but nobody really goes back to the way they were. Conversation floats on safer topics, who likes who, who's gotten together, and even better, the latest gossip from Francis and Antonio about what kind of hijinks they were getting into.
Fun, simple, and away from the touchy topic of illness or death. Gilbert can tell everyone is doing their best not to ask him how he's doing, but there's no reason they should be scared. 'I'm too awesome and strong to be worried about! I'll be back to school in no time, and then we can all release the ultimate stink bomb in the Principal's office!'
Hours pass and eventually they all start getting calls on their phones from unhappy parents, demanding they come home for dinner. Every time a cell phone rings they all shoot him a sympathetic glance, but he ignores them. Who cares if he can't go home? He's gotten well enough that he can order about half of the things on the menu, so that's gotta be better than anything they'll be having at home.
One by one they leave, until Francis leaves the room with a wink aimed towards Gil and the only one left in the room.
"Hey, Maddie, don't you have to go home with Al?" The girl shakes her head and sits down on the edge of his thin mattress, leaning back on her hands with a grin.
"I don't think Dad actually called us. Alfred was pretending to try and get out of the room." Gilbert opens his mouth to ask why he would do that, but she turns to look him in the eye and his words die in his throat. Her brilliant violet eyes shine unnaturally bright under the stark hospital lighting, and Gilbert can't contain himself as he leans forward and presses a quick kiss on her lips.
"Of course that's what he did. He wants you to be alone with the awesome me!" He bluffs, making her laugh.
"You're so self-absorbed, it's kinda cute. Your hair and eyes are too, they're pretty awesome," Madeline states, causing the albino boy to beam at the use of "his word". After a few moments, her eyes move, looking his entire face up and down. "Say, Gil?"
Her tone changes, becoming even more quiet and docile than he had thought possible, and he raises an eyebrow with a reassuring smile. "Yeah, Birdie?" The childish nickname makes her smile a bit wider, but it almost immediately fades. She shifts her gaze to the window opposite his bed, her eyes following the gentle waving of a flag flying on the opposite building.
"Have you ever thought about… I mean, you probably have, but… What do you think…" She whispers, Gilbert's ears straining to catch her words. "What do you think… you'll do? I mean, after you get… better…"
The boy stays silent for a moment, thinking of the best way to answer the question. The pause lasts longer than he had meant for it to, and she turns back to him to smile softly. "It's okay if you don't have an answer, Gil-"
"Nein, I do have an answer! Well, first of all, once I can get up and walk on my own, we're going out on a real date! Dinner at that restaurant Francis always tries to get you to go to, and then we can take a long walk in that park near our old houses," the albino starts off, warming up to the idea instantly.
"I would have thought you would have forgotten about that."
Gilbert shakes his head, leaning towards her with a grin. "I don't forget anything my cute little Birdie says, especially when it's something that makes her happy!" Maddie giggles, holding a hand in front of her face to try and hide some of her blush. Instead, it just gives him something to grab onto as he continues talking.
"Then, we can go on a lot more dates. I'll pay for every little kid movie that you want to see, because you're adorable when you come out talking about all the small little details that you liked. We'll go on as many dates as it takes for me to convince your dad that I love you, and then I'll propose in the most awesome way I can think of!"
Madeline blushes even more at the mention of love and marriage. "And what's that?"
He pauses, mind racing for an answer. "I… haven't thought of it yet. But it will be awesome! I promise you! And I never-"
"-Break a promise, I know." She grins, and leans up against him. He wraps his thin arms around her, sitting his chin on her head. "Well, I think you're assuming that I would say yes to you, aren't you Gil?"
He freezes, face growing red with embarrassment. Had he crossed a line with that? Was Madeline just playing around? Was what they had not as serious as he thought?
She quickly notices the effect the comment had brought on and presses a quick kiss to his hand wrapped around her collarbone. "I would, Gil. Don't worry about it. So, you were saying? What happens after we marry?"
"Oh, well… we get a small little apartment together. It has to be at least two bedrooms. One for us, and then one for all of the awesome stuff we get."
"Like appliances?"
Gilbert smiles. "I was thinking more of all my videos games and movies, but ja, I guess we can find room for those as well."
"But we won't stay there forever." Madeline said in a matter of fact tone.
"No?"
"Of course, we'll have to move eventually. Knowing you, you'll want to get three dogs to run around and wreck havoc on everything."
"Are you referring to our future kids as dogs?" Madeline rolls her eyes, smiling.
"Of course not. Speaking of, how many?"
"Kids?" She nods, tilting her head back to look him in the eye. "Well, I'm thinking two. We need to have an awesome son with your pretty eyes and hair." Gilbert grinned at her.
Madeline smiles back with the compliment. "Then that means we have to have a beautiful baby girl with your looks and attitude."
Gilbert recoils in mock surprise, grinning at her. "Attitude? I think you meant to say 'awesomeness!'"
She sighs happily, reaching up to pull him down into a deep kiss. "Yes, that's what I meant."
Suddenly, a loud banging on the door startles both of them, making them jump. Alfred's voice loudly echoes from the other side, despite the doors being well insulated from sound. "Maddie, Mom's here! Finish up what you're doing in there and let's go!"
Gilbert's eyes narrow at the closed door, unintentionally tightening his arms around his sweetheart. In this moment, this solitary moment, it had given him hope in a world where the never ending cycle of pills, needles, and patronizing doctors annoyed him to no end. He was getting better, he knew it, he didn't need someone else to tell him that!
Madeline grabs the edge of the bed and pulls herself up, letting cold air rush into her place. She snatches her small hand bag she had brought in from the side of the door and opens it with a sigh. "I guess I'll… call you, or something. Bye, Gil."
"Madeline!"
The strict tone coming from the usually easy going boy stops her in her tracks. She turns back to him, worried. "W-What?"
His red eyes shine with a pinch of anger. "I told you. Goodbye is not acceptable. We aren't saying goodbye. We're going to see each other again, right?
"R-Right…" she says, dragging the word out with confusion, slightly startled by his intensity.
He pauses, then grins softly. "Then it's 'see you later,'"
Her eyes widen, but then she smiles back. "Right. I'll… see you later."
After the door closes with a soft click, he falls back against his bed. 'Madeline is so awesome. I love her so much. I can't wait for it all to come true…' He closes his bloodshot, dull eyes, and a bright smile graces his lips before he drifts off to sleep.
A infinite, peaceful, sleep called death.