This time, the pain was torture. Kylo Ren couldn't explain it and he had never felt this way before. Didn't he get everything he wanted? He could do things now, he was poised to a position to do things the way he saw fit. Still, he couldn't do it alone and he couldn't count on Hux to help him. Hux, what an odd pair they made. Snoke fed the rivalry, but he couldn't help but admit he did need him to some extent. His command of the military forces were necessary. Hux's military experience would only go so far, and Hux would need someone who knew diplomacy and had an idea how the core of the galaxy worked having grown up in the outer reaches. Though he was sure Hux still had ties to the planets of his early childhood.

As for Kylo Ren, he was sure that now the general public would become full aware of who he had been. Though he wasn't the public figure his parents had been, he knew there were those out there that would put two and two together and place him with his politically disgraced mother who still seemed to be fighting lost causes. He would have to act fast. He was his own man, and by the time that had happened, he would have to make a name for himself separate from that legacy. Hux would still be concerned with wiping out the Resistance, but there was so few of them now. He knew Hux would just say that they would be easier to get rid of completely while in smaller spread out numbers, and before given the chance to build sympathy for their cause, but Kylo Ren had a better idea. Win the public's favor and make the Resistance a menace. It would be hard to twist, Hux having had the Hosnian Prime system wiped out, but Kylo Ren knew how he could turn that to their favor. He would make his first statements as Supreme Leader and concentrate on public relations and peace, though the idea of public speaking terrified him.

"You want to use the military to do what?" Hux asked questioning the new Supreme Leader.

Kylo Ren stared out the window of the Finalizer, and looked out into space, "You heard me. We have an opportunity. The New Republic is gone. Isn't that what you wanted? We first reach out to those planets that the New Republic has allowed to slip through the cracks. We let them know they are not forgotten. You've already gained sympathy before the destruction of Hosnian Prime. The senate had been a disaster. Divided. Self serving. The Empire was nothing but a machine to feed Palpatine's ego. That's why so many of you chose to leave and begin again, planning for this day. Let's finally do what the Empire failed to do. Let the corruption end and be crushed. We make a few demonstrations, on both prosperous and dead planets, you know the ones where you may yourself have gone to 'rescue' the orphans to train for your stormtroopers. Wasn't this the plan all along?"

Hux couldn't really argue with that, though he had no idea how to proceed, his own life had been one of training to fight, and war.

Kylo Ren sensing his trepidation answered without hearing the man speak, "Then make it a war of peace."

It had been weeks, and they had sent garrisons to nine systems. With the First Order taking the initiative of having troops encourage the rebuilding of worlds, wiping out corrupt opportunists who took advantage of the blind eye of the New Republic, and making the quality of life better for the average galactic citizen. Those fringe cults, the criminal organizations, and even the slavers are wiped out on each system. Prosperity had grown on each system that the First Order had touched and the holonet had taken notice. A few other systems, who had yet to be touched by what benefits the First Order brought, had pledged allegiance to the new order of the galaxy in the hopes of benefiting from the benevolence of the new Supreme Leader Ren without them ever visiting. He hadn't even made his first public appearance or speech. Hux was the one for speeches, but Ren knew that he needed to be the one to finally make a public appearance and win the crowds. Arkanis, Hux's birthplace, and the home of many supporters from even before the public emergence of the First Order was the chosen place to hold a conference and a celebratory ball afterwards.

The idea of a ball and the fact he was releasing himself as the Supreme Leader, giving a new face to the First Order, now pretty much in control of much of the galaxy, was giving Kylo Ren a bit of anxiety. At his heart, he was naturally shy. He knew it was ridiculous. He was probably the most powerful Force user in the world, and he often hid behind that persona.

"Perhaps I should go back to using the mask," Kylo Ren spoke out loud while thinking on the bridge.

Hux stared at him glaringly, "Are you mad? Wasn't this your idea? Win the public's favor? How do you expect to win the public's favor hiding behind that hideous ridiculous mask? Are you afraid they will find out who you really are? Oh, don't think I don't know, Ren."

Kylo Ren's hairs raised on his neck. He would control himself. Hux knew his place by now, and it wouldn't do well to constantly threaten to choke him. Now, if he was going to choke him, it would be only to crush him for good. Hux wasn't afraid of Ren now, and Ren knew that. Ren needed him, and Hux did so in kind. No matter what they thought of one another. And now he knew his secret, and he probably had for a while. He didn't really care if Hux knew, though it was sure to put a bad taste in Hux's mouth, after all, they basically had been at war with was Kylo Ren's mother if they really thought about it hard enough. Hux of all people knew that parents were overrated. Hux didn't know the real secret, and the real secret was that Ren secretly loved his mother. Hux could hold the fact that he knew his previous identity over his head, but he was sure it would get out, though he had always been in the background as a child to his parents achievements, and then sent to Skywalker. Some old school chum, or a former senator or something of that nature may have remembered his face.

Kylo Ren stared at Hux. "I was merely thinking out loud. Of course, I need to show my face. I don't need the mask to hold control of the galaxy. They don't need to fear me. It was merely a momentary lapse if you will. I don't need to explain myself to you."

"But you need to explain yourself to them. We have a lot riding on this, Ren. You were right to aim to win the public's favor," Hux stated almost regretting the statement. "Don't let that go to your head."

"And don't let the fact you were right about the mask go to yours, Hux." Ren stated staring out the window, his hands behind his back.

"You do have glorious hair, Ren, and the scar will merely give you character," Hux said with a compliment. "I will give you that."

"You still don't have a crush on me, do you Hux?" Ren laughed, knowing the answer.

Hux sneered. "Impossible man," as he walked away.

Ren grinned slightly.

That night, Ren retired to his quarters. He began thinking of a time in school when he was forced to participate in a debate exercise. The teacher had thought he would be a natural, the son of a famous senator, not that he was the only child in the school who could claim that. There were many who had been the children of those who had worked in the senate. And he grew up with many of them who had continued to move when the capital moved, making it harder to make other friends. In general, he hated the children of other senators. They looked at him as if he thought he was special, because his mother had more of a high profile in the senate than many of the others, his father was a famous racing pilot, both of them war heroes, and how he must have thought he was better than everyone else. He didn't think that at all. They didn't really know him at all, but they thought he did. The constant bullying and teasing had broke his confidence. When it came time for him to approach the stage, his legs were wobbly. He began to stutter as he gave his argument, and the children began to laugh. The anger would well up in him, and he would find himself in a brawl behind the stage with several of them. Of course, he got the blame, and his mother was mortified. He had actually broken the bones of those who had been teasing him and bullying him, because of his natural strength. He was the victim, and was merely fighting back.

He meditated a bit, to help calm his nerves, and then he went to take a shower to relax a bit. While there, he saw her. Of all places for her to show up suddenly. He hadn't seen her since Crait. He grabbed a towel as she turned red faced and hid her eyes.

"Why now?" Rey called out laughing nervously both her own question and almost reading his thoughts.

"It wasn't my intention," Ben answered turning the water off.

Rey looked up then looked down again, embarrassed by the appearance of Ben with only a towel covering a small part of his body. She had interrupted his shower, "I don't know why I'm here."

Ben wrapped the towel completely around his waist, then put his hands up on the side of the shower and looked at the wall, "I could use someone to talk to, actually. I wished you had joined me when I asked. I could use your help."

"Ben, you want to kill my friends," Rey said seriously.

"Have you seriously been paying attention to what has happened outside your little Resistance force, or whatever you want to call it? Do you know what is happening in the galaxy at all?" Ben said angrily.

"I've heard a few things," Rey answered, trying not to give anything away to an enemy.

"And I imagine they are still trying to recruit more to their lost cause. Won't she ever give up? You could be making a difference here you know, too. We are helping people. Why can't you see that?" Ben answered in frustration. "Come to me. Please?"

How could she resist. She knew right now that would be wrong, but her feelings were getting in the way. It wasn't right. Something was off, and she knew he would still want to destroy what she loved. What would she give up if she went to him? She needed time. She wanted to help him, but knew he wouldn't accept the terms of the Resistance. He would probably still kill her friends, and that General of his? They would all be slaughtered. They wouldn't accept her by his side. Something else had to change. She didn't know what, but the Force wasn't guiding her this time, something else was. Her emotions, her feelings, her urges. Oh his body still glistening, wet from his half shower. What if he suddenly popped up while she did the same? She wanted to touch him like they had before through this strange connection. She was actually still surprised they were still connected in this fashion. It had to be bigger than Snoke, she did know that.

"I can't. Not now. It's not that I don't want to," She spoke softly.

Ben hit the side of the wall with a touch of anger. Then he looked at her with longing. "Then why?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

"Your friends! They are misguided. Walk away from them," he pleaded.

"No, you know I can't. If it helps, I saw something. We were together. I know you must have seen it. We aren't there yet. It's not time," Rey answered.

"Go, get out," Ben said turning away from her.

Rey walked closer, she could almost touch him. "You're scared."

"I have to give a speech. Woo the galaxy, show my face as the leader of the First Order," he spoke turning towards her feeling and looking vulnerable.

"Pretend you are speaking only to me, Ben. I'll be listening," she answered. "I don't know how to leave. I don't think I can control that."

"I don't either. I don't understand how this works," Ben answered. "I'll do that though. If you find a holo, know it's only for you. Everyone else be damned."

"Alright." She looked at him softly.

She touched him, and she could feel his wet skin. He trembled. It still startled him. It was like an energy flowed through him, their connection in the Force. She was so angry the last time she saw him. She thought he was lost, or maybe it was her own vision that was cloudy. She didn't know. She had no control over this. He didn't seem to either. She wanted to let him go, but she was still pulled towards him. Then it happened, he vanished from her sight. She shivered.

"Rey? What's wrong?" Finn had noticed watching her from afar. She had been sitting in front of her tent, and it appeared that she was talking to someone, then he saw her shiver and shake. "Why are you all wet? Are you sweating?"

It wasn't sweat, and it was too dry here to explain it. Leia came over because she felt something and just sat with her and gave her a hug. "Finn, she'll be alright." Leia reassured him. "Why don't you go and help Rose with that speeder she's been working on. She might need something to drink. She's been at it a while."

Finn nodded then walked away. Leia grabbed Rey's hand and held it tight, "It's been happening again hasn't it."

Rey nodded.

/

Arkanis

It was a large glass dome arranged as a stadium surrounded by an indoor garden. It was an elaborate design and the planet was proud of it. The center of the field, often used for smashball tourneys, large wedding events, public concerts, and the like, held a podium raised above the ground. A legion of the finest First Order stormtroopers had paraded around the grounds with school bands playing in the background. There were entertainers and crowds of people in the stands. Camera droids flitted everywhere and several holonet networks were to broadcast the event. The New Galaxy Order was here, and it was something to celebrate! Representatives of planets who had benefited already from the generosity of the First Order had come to tell their personal stories. Then General Hux himself came up to the podium to speak and introduce Supreme Leader Ren.

"How grand it is to return to my birthplace to formally announce the start of a new order to the galaxy! No more will there be corruption, or the ills brought on by the evils of the Empire, or the selfish idealistic blindness of the New Republic! It is my honor to allow our glorious leader, Supreme Leader Ren to address his citizens," General Hux said, trying very hard to keep it brief, though he was well prepared to give a very long speech if Ren decided to mess this up.

Hux gritted his teeth quietly while smiling, "Don't kriff this up, Ren. We have a lot riding on this."

The light was shining down on Kylo Ren giving an effect of a princely halo. While he was still dressed in black, they gave him a more cleaner look with sleeker robes. Ren had resisted the change to his clothes, but he did admit it did help appearance wise and he did want to look at his best. He remembered his conversation to Rey. He would speak only to her, but make it seem he was speaking to everyone.

"Thank you. As your leader, I want you to know that I am here only for you. I wish to make the galaxy a better place only for you. With your help, we can build a better galaxy!" There were cheers. The cameras came up close to his face. The make up artists had highlighted his best features, his scar showed through, but it gave his face so much character as he could see himself looking so large on the monitor. The hair dressers had done his hair in such a way that he looked very regal. His appearance startled him for a moment. With the risk of feeling vain, he looked pretty good and it was giving him confidence. Would Rey see this? He hoped she would. He looked up bashfully pleading, "I can only do this with your help, believe that. Help me, help you. In your neighborhoods," he needed to remember sometimes that he was actually talking to billions of citizens, even if that scared him. "Tell me what you need. Because I need you. You are not alone."

Hux whispered, "You really didn't prepare this speech ahead of time did you? Why aren't you doing the speech we had written for you."

Kylo Ren could hear him, but ignored him. "I don't want anyone to starve. I don't wish for anyone to be a slave. I don't wish for anyone to worry if their hospital will be closed down, or if they will have enough clean water or a place to sleep at night. I care. I really care for you. Know this."

He paused, there was applause. He looked humbly into the camera with great sincerity.

"There is much that I can do in my position, but I also need your help. I don't want to do this alone. Together, you and I, we can do this. A new galaxy of hope and peace!" Kylo Ren said looking up, a tear in his eye.

Hux looked at the camera and gritted to his lieutenant, "He's crying."

"Sir, the audience is eating this up," the lieutenant answered.

"Of course they are," Hux huffed back.

The cameras turned to the audience, getting candid shots of young women cheering, an elderly woman crying, and groups clapping. He hadn't really said very much, but he charmed them. He hadn't even used the Force. He spoke from the heart, but it wasn't to them after all. Only he knew that.

Hux and his entourage surrounded Ren as he waved to the crowds and came down from the podium. More entertainers and speakers came out as they were leaving. Journalists were descending upon them, fought off by the stormtroopers to keep them at bay.

General Hux spoke, "Supreme Leader Ren will speak with you shortly." As they moved their way through the crowd to a small quiet room.

Ren sat down as a make up artist came and dried off his face and cleaned up his hair a bit more.

"Ren, you didn't stick to the speech," Hux argued.

"Really, Hux," Ren answered. "Less is more in the end. They got what they wanted."

"Help me help you?" Hux laughed.

The speech writer though annoyed a bit and the public relations expert they hired both nodded their head in agreement. "It was the Supreme Leader himself who charmed them. He came off sincere and vibrant and the audience ate it up. I think it was brilliant. They are out there chanting his name. You'll have to do a few press blibs in a moment."

"Oh wonderful," Ren replied.

General Hux got out there front and center, "Shall we go then?"

Ren followed and they stood just outside the door, droid cameras flying everywhere, journalists sending questions. They both answered a few, just enough to whet the appetite of the press, then it was back into the quiet room. They put on the holonet to see the aftermath.

"Look Hux, see, it looks like even you have a few fans," Ren laughed.

"Cute? They actually said I was cute?" Hux sneered.

"Just stay away from anyone underage, we can not have a scandal, Hux," Ren laughed, when he saw it was a girl who was around thirteen who declared that the general was dreamy.

"You both did well out there, gentlemen. Use it to your advantage, sir," the PR man declared as he went over the itinerary.

Later at the ball, Ren sat at the table watching, picking at his food, and just thinking. This person or that person being introduced, by either the governor or by General Hux if he happened to know them. He could barely eat, not only did he not have much of an appetite, but he had no time between each person of the elite this time, wanting to get a word in with their new leader.

"What is she doing here?" General Hux whispered to Arkanis governor looking towards an older lady sitting at the end of the table.

"Carise Sindian has been a great supporter of the First Order, even if she was involved in that scandal some years ago. That was more a New Republic matter though, don't you think? No one cares about the royal houses anymore," the Governor said sternly. "She somehow worked her way to an invitation to the ball. It's what she does. Actually I am not surprised."

It grated on General Hux's skin. He knew she would be a problem. She had once been a senator, though one who was secretly working for the First Order. She certainly botched that up royally didn't she? "We can't get rid of her? Have her thrown out?"

"Now, General Hux. I'm not fond of her myself, but what kind of tone would that set?" the Governor answered.

"I suppose you're right," Hux said leaning back watching then he abruptly got up and moved away from the party, going to his private room in the connecting hotel.

Kylo Ren was overstimulated, yet the lines were still coming to shake his hand. Most were friendly, but occasionally there would be someone whom he sensed some skepticism. One or two were young girls who swooned, and the occasional mother or father who wanted him to meet their daughter or son. His eyes rolled at the thought. Then he saw a familiar face. He only knew her from the holonet, but he would never forget that face.

"Hello, I'm Carise Sindian, and it's quite the honor to meet you, sir." She smiled gripping his hand, but then she looked into his face and squinted a bit.

Kylo Ren stiffened. He remembered that it was she who had been the one involved in the scandal that rocked the senate. The one that had disgraced his mother's good name. The one that uncovered his family lies. He had mixed feelings meeting this woman, but he tried to calm his anger. He didn't know the whole story about Carise Sindian, but from what he learned on the holonet. It was what led him more towards Snoke. Knowing that his family had kept that information from him, that Anakin Skywalker, his biological grandfather, had become Darth Vader. He may have never known otherwise. Perhaps he should be grateful to her? He couldn't though and he gave her a cold look as she tried to place him. He waved his hand and dismissed her. Perhaps that would help her to just think he had an ordinary face, he could be anyone. That trick only went so far though. She would eventually remember that she knew him from somewhere. It was bound to happen anyway, but he wanted to win the favor of the galaxy before they put that together, and he wanted to be the one to share that. He would soon enough. He couldn't start out on a lie like his mother had. He wasn't that person anymore, but he would own it for public revelation, just not right now.

After some time, the crowds died down and it was getting late. There were still people waiting, but he had enough. He whispered to the public relations officer and everyone else was dismissed and he was escorted to his room.

He took a shower, half expecting to find Rey there. He had a few times since that recent encounter. He was embarrassed how much of a thrill that was. Maybe he would find her in a similar position Force willing. The idea amused him. He thought about her too much, even now. He wondered what she was doing right now, probably plotting against him and his new government. He half wished that they could see that what he was doing was the right and just thing, and that they were causing the chaos by opposing him. Were they building a bigger military in the Resistance? Knowing his mother, she would never stop. Oh Rey. Poor misguided girl.

The suite was too much for a man used to living on ships, but as Supreme Leader he would now have to expect the best being offered to him. Two guards waited outside as if he needed them. At least he would have privacy while he slept and he hoped he slept well.

When he woke up, he found himself in a strange place. It wasn't the hotel suite at all. It was the engine room of a ship. Had Hux drugged him and had him carried on board? No, that didn't seem right and he didn't sense Hux anywhere. It would be like him though to try something like that. He did seem to win some favor himself from the crowds. He did feel something strange though, something very strange from the Force. It was different somehow.

Some men came into the room, and Kylo Ren hid behind some machinery. He could hear them talking, but couldn't make out what they were saying, but as he looked at the parts in front of him, he could tell this was an older ship. Not like any they had in the first order. It looked Imperial. They left and he made his way out, trying to get a better look at his surroundings. When he moved towards a corridor, he heard a voice call out.

"Halt! You! Who are you? Escaped prisoner?" the man ordered with a great deal of authority.

Kylo Ren turned around and was face to face with what looked like an Imperial Officer reenactor. He waved his hand in front of the man's face and the man fell to the floor. Kylo Ren then found a hiding place. Where was he? Some kind of movie set? A historical tour? Then he saw stormtroopers in the distance, Imperial ones. He found his way to another door and went inside. It was an empty storage room and there were clothes in there. They were all Imperial issue. He quickly put on the nearest thing that would fit him, an officers uniform, what rank, he couldn't tell, but he'd work with it. At least he could get to the bottom of this and hope no one would recognize him. He hid his robes and walked stiffly through the corridor. Another officer addressed him.

"You must be the new recruit from the academy," the man said stiffly.

"Ah, yes, sir," Kylo Ren answered stiffly.

"What is your name?" the man asked looking at the manifest.

"Um," he tried to think, what name could he use? Not his real name of course, not Kylo Ren, it would mean nothing. Antilles was very common. There were Antilles on every planet.

"Ben Antilles, sir," Kylo Ren stood at attention.

The man looked down, "I can't find you on the manifest for new recruits. Not the first time that has happened," the man sighed. "No matter, Antilles. Lieutenant?"

"Lieutenant?" Kylo Ren answered and wondered what exactly was happening here.

"Your uniform. New promotion, maybe? Has you confused. Happens sometimes when someone new comes on board, you get a promotion and have no idea you have one," the man answered. "I'll take you straight way to Captain Piett. He'll know where you go."

Captain Piett? That name he remembered from history books. Where was he? "What ship is this?" Kylo Ren asked.

"Do you need medical? I know you just got on board, but really now? Surely you know you are on the Executor," the man laughed.

Kylo Ren nodded his head. The Executor. The name of Darth Vader's flag ship.

"Of course, it's the Executor, I just can't believe it. You must understand," Kylo Ren tried to answer without drawing suspicion.

The man laughed, "Yes, either people are thrilled to be stationed here, or they are scared to death. Just keep your nose clean, and you'll have no trouble here. Follow me."

Kylo Ren looked around the ship as he followed the man until they got to where this Captain Piett was standing.

"Captain Piett, I can't find this man on the manifest, he's obviously been stationed here." the man said handing the datapad to Piett.

Piett looked it over and rolled his eyes, "Another one of these. We do have to be careful. You never know what the Rebellion will try. What's your name, Lieutenant."

"Ben Antilles?" Kylo Ren answered.

"Can't seem to find your name. Where did you go to Academy?" Piett said looking through the logs.

Since when he went to sleep he had been on Arkanis, and he figured this was merely some strange dream he answered, "Arkanis?"

"Oh, one of those," Captain Piett sighed. "Yes, yes. Most likely an oversight. Home planet? Age?"

What was his home planet? He was born on Chandrilla, but didn't remember that and wasn't that a suspicious planet during the rebellion with Mon Mothma being from there? What did he know, where did he know? Favorite childhood memory planetside? "Nakadia. Age, 29, sir. Rebellion, sir, I'm appalled you'd even think..." Lieutenant Ben Antilles half joked.

"You would be surprised. A star destroyer was taken by rebel scum before. You really can not be too careful," Captain Piett answered.

Kylo Ren knew that story too well. Han Solo was apt to tell it many times while he was growing up.

"You are quite tall, young man," Captain Piett said looking up at him. "Since I don't have your credentials in front of me, I am going to have to keep my eye on you. Admiral Ozzel would have my neck otherwise. If you went to the Academy at Arkanis though, I'm sure you are up to the task. I have some work for you to do, follow me."

Kylo Ren kept pinching himself. He had to be asleep right. He wasn't waking up.