1I wanted to drown out the screams of anguish and pain from my ears, but found I could not. Even after putting many miles between me and the battle field ,I still relived the horrible day, where the cries of my fellow soldiers tormented me.
I fought for a cause I knew deep down was wrong, and payed oh so dearly for it. I have killed many a man during this forsaken war, torn families apart, doomed others to a life of torture. I feel regret and remorse everyday of my pitiful life.
My superiors always would scold me."Your soft heart will be the death of us all",they would say. They were right. It was because of my inability to be ruthless that we lost the battle, the battle that seems so insignificant compared to some others have fought. But to me, it seemed like a thousand bloody wars all rolled into one. I looked upon the bodies that littered the ground and wept. I wept for my comrades, I wept for my enemies, I wept for the world...
It has been so many years since I have pulled out a single weapon. I am afraid to. I am afraid that I will hurt someone, hurt everyone, and have to relive that horrible day.
I was-No, I am-a survivor. At least physically. Inside, my heart is black, my soul is cold, and my mind is filled with sorrow. Why did I live while my friends, my family, all died? Why am I left alone in this world? Why does no one answer to my lonely cries when they, too, know the pain I feel?
The explanation is simple. Because I am nothing special, I am nothing to care for, I am not worthy of anyone's sympathy when they have the same problems to deal with. But it still hurts...Each night, when I silently sob into my pillow, I hear their screams. The screams of the ones who now exist nowhere but in the minds of people who knew them, who loved them, who still love them.
I have no one who loves me. I have no one who cherishes me. I have no one who adores me. I only have myself.
And sometimes, that just isn't enough...
From the POV of a Fire Nation soldier, Yukki, an OC of my friend's. He was the only survivor in a battle against the Earth Kingdom six years ago, a battle in which there were over 700 fighters, because he ran away. He wasn't afraid of being killed, he was afraid of killing someone. Since then, he has lost his wife and son to illness, and has no family or friends left to love or be loved by. So, at the age of 32, he leaves his small village in the Fire Nation and makes his home in a large forest about 100 miles away. He savors life and all it has to bring, but at times he gets really depressed and has nothing to do but wallow in his torment and angst. Sad, isn't it? Please review, if ya don't mind! Flames are also accepted, just don't be too surprised if you find that you've been bankrupt next week...Heh.