Chapter 1 - Fashion, Romance and Crotches
Summary: Box weapons are intelligent, and they have their own secret society where they communicate among themselves in their own little box weapon world away from their masters and mistresses.
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…
A/N: I realized that there's very little box weapon fics out there. In fact, box weapons hardly get any attention and are usually used in non-box-weapon-based fics as stand-up comics, props or background characters. It's just sad. So I thought about writing a fic that looks at the world from the box-weapon point of view. I mean, since box-weapons aren't human, they wouldn't look at human issues the way we look at them, right? So I thought about that and it produced rather amusing results. (Btw, for those of you who don't know, the original publication of this story is in my other fic "KHR: Have You Noticed?")
So, this is their story.
"So, what are the matters for today?" Uri purred, stretching himself on the floor.
"Today's matters are… fashion, romance and… well I think that's about it." Kojiro chirped.
"What's fashion?" Jiro barked, wagging his tail ecstatically. "Is it something to eat?"
"Meow. Are you an idiot? Fashion is something to drink." Uri yawned.
"To drink? Are you sure?" Natsu said skeptically.
"Meow." Uri replied menacingly, sharpening his claws on the floor.
Natsu gulped and shuffled back, his flaming mane diminishing a little.
"Kojiro, what's fashion? Jiro yapped, pawing at his fellow box weapon.
"I think it's got something to do with what humans wear." Kojiro said seriously, flapping his wings.
"You mean those silly outer skins that humans wear?" Uri said scornfully.
"Yes. Come to think of it, why do humans need to wear outer skins? We don't need outer skins, why do they?" Natsu asked.
"It's what humans do, I guess." Jiro said, flying around in circles.
"Silly humans." Uri flicked his tail in annoyance. "Big pinkos who lumber around, getting in my way."
"What's next?" Mukurou finally spoke up.
"Romance, I suppose." Kojiro pecked at Garyuu.
"What's romance to the extreme?" Garyuu, having inherited Ryohei's catchphrase, was quoting him now.
"Now you're copying your master." Uri spat in disgust. "Have some originality, will you?"
"My master and I are close buddies to the extreme!" Garyuu replied, hefting a punch at Uri, who dodged nimbly.
"Now, now, settle down. So, what is romance?" Kojiro tweeted (I'm not talking about Twitter).
"I think it's got something to do with what humans do when they eat each other's faces." Mukurou said.
"You mean when they move their mouths all over each other and drool and everything?" Jiro cocked his head to one side.
"I think it's called kissing." Kojiro said thoughtfully.
"Oh, screw you." Uri grumbled.
"But what exactly is romance?" Natsu insisted on knowing.
"I'm not too sure." The rest said in unison.
"Maybe it's something to eat!" Jiro barked, his tail wagging in a blur in excitement.
"Well, since we aren't getting any further, let's close up this meeting, shall we? Any questions?" Kojiro prepared to leave.
"I do." Natsu waved a paw. "What's a crotch?"
There was a silence.
"I think it's something important to male humans." Kojiro said slowly.
'But what could it possibly be?" Garyuu folded his arms in confusion.
"Where did you hear this from, Natsu?" Mukurou asked.
"I heard the little human in the funny hat with the chameleon say that to my master the other day."
"Well…" There was another silence as the mystery of the crotch was being contemplated.
Then, the silence was broken by Jiro.
"So, do you think it's safe to eat?" he barked.
A/N: All those who loved the last part review!