On broken wings I'm falling
And it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees
I'm bleeding
And it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
I'll search for so long
- Alter Bridge, Broken Wings
The ship was crumbling from the outside in, pieces of alien metal falling from higher and lower levels, occasionally taking down some of the few still-living crew. If you could call them that, Jim thought. The end was coming, closer and closer, and it was just so fucking ironic wasn't it? His dad dies taking out the enemy ship, and he's going to die on one. The one, the ship that's threatened the universe, the Narada that's already destroyed Vulcan… and he's going to die on it. Fucking brilliant.
He remembers exactly what brought them here. He's covering Pike, and blood (not his own) is dripping from the older man's body. He can't even manage a brief "Oh, fuck!" before Romulans are swarming them and he's simultaneously shoving Pike away to safety, shooting with the trigger set to kill, and waiting, just waiting. There! his mind screams, and he shoots the last Romulan square in the chest, the alien falling to the ground in a motionless heap. "I've got your signal!" his communicator screeches, and he desperately wants to laugh but knows if he starts he may never stop.
"Scotty. Tell Bones… I'm sorry."
And he's launching himself at Nero (the bastard), and Pike manages to let out a hoarse yell of "Jim!" before he's blinking out of the Narada and onto the Enterprise, and it hurts to know Jim will never captain it.
Pike materializes in the transporter room, and he can vaguely hear himself letting out the rest of the scream he'd been holding in, arms out in an achingly similar way to Spock's just (hours? days?) before, until he collapses with tears of fatigue, pain and loss. Scotty's gaping slightly, and Spock's materializing beside him, discreetly letting out a breath. The half-Vulcan doesn't even glance around - too caught up in the moment - and he starts running, and Pike knows he'll blow up the Narada unless he gets there first. With a burst of adrenaline, he gets up shakily, stumbling at first before surging forward like death's on his tail- and it is. Just not his.
Spock makes it first (the universe loves to fuck with Jim, doesn't it) and he doesn't acknowledge the sneering face of Nero on the screen, he just says in that (horrible damning) calm tone, "Fire all weapons." and all Pike hears is Jim's scream before the screen dies and they're looking at the Narada's crumbling form (like a shot bird), and then Pike's the one screaming, just yelling "Jimjimjim" over and over, until his cries taper off with the hiss of a decompressed hypo, and everything fades.
He really shouldn't let the ramblings of a previously tortured (broken tired sad) Captain get to him, but Pike's soon quieted with a hypo and he hears himself giving orders to get the hell out of here. But the man's words plant a seed of doubt in his mind. It sprouts, and grows into a sapling as Scotty runs onto the Bridge, panting, eyes glistening unsettlingly (shock worry panic), with his soft whisper of "No…" that makes the room freeze. The crew stares at him as the ship jumps to warp, and Scotty shakes slightly. This really shouldn't get to him, but he's at the engineer's side and asking in a soft, almost trembling voice, "What?" and the man starts out of his shock. "He was on the ship. He was on the ship and I couldn't save him!" His whispers have become shouts, and Spock realizes - belatedly - that McCoy is in a corner, holding up Pike's unconscious form, and the tree of doubt is full and green before it explodes into emotions (horror hatred hurt) he should be ashamed of, but he can't seem to find the energy. Scotty's turning to the doctor (Bones Bones Bones) and he's speaking now, a shattered expression on his face. "He told me to tell you… he was sorry."
McCoy let out a choked sob and slid to the floor, taking Pike with him, and Spock feels an illogical need to copy the movement.