A Better Man
Bobby had looked squarely into Dean's eyes when he had told him to not be like his father, that he was a better man than him. He had believed every word. He knew that Dean had been hurt by Sam's distance and seemingly uncaring attitude towards him. He couldn't blame him for wanting to lash out and distance himself from a lifetime of responsibility, but Bobby knew it wasn't in Dean to be far away from his family, to abandon them for any length of time. He was a better man because he cared, maybe too much, but still, it was solid, unfailing, and unbreakable.
It was just in that moment that Dean had disappeared from him. Panic filled Bobby. As a veteran hunter, he knew such a quick exit could only mean something bad. The angels must have him or so he hoped. No demon he knew of could do that kind of hat trick. His alertness ebbed from him, understanding that there was nothing he could do, but wait and hope that Dean was safe wherever he was.
He walked over to his desk, grabbed a half empty bottle of vodka and swigged it, feeling the sting of it's poor quality burn down his throat. He heaved a sigh of relief as the burn left, but could only continue to sit and feel helpless. It was a condition he had grown used to in the months after Dean's death at the jaws of the hellhound. Dean didn't seem to quite understand why Bobby had drowned himself in drink over him. Typical, Bobby thought to himself. Dean had never thought much of his worth to anyone. It would never occur to the boy that maybe just as he had been Dean's father figure, so had Dean been the son he wished he had.
His pride for both boys was evident and he knew that John had seen it too. John had also been on the receiving end of many a lecture about fathering his sons from Bobby. Bobby had never been one to hold his tongue, least not for long. John had done a disservice to two sons who deserved better in Bobby's opinion. Clearly Sam's smarts and Dean's compassion came from their mother because he certainly didn't see John possessing either quality. Still, one thing you couldn't miss, his own pride for his sons. Bobby knew John loved his sons, so much so as to give his life for either of them. That was immutable.
Dean took to the hunting immediately, reveled in it, and Bobby would sometimes detect a need there for him. Dean had used hunting as much to hide his wounded soul from Sam and John as he did to save others. Losing his mother had taken a hidden toll that he had never let them see, but Bobby had seen it. As the years went by and as Dean got older, that loss had dimmed, but Bobby knew it was still there, easily called up when Dean felt he had personally failed to save someone.
Dean and Bobby had clicked when Dean had been younger, that is, once Dean felt that Bobby could be trusted. A reflex taught by his father, but it made Bobby smile remembering how protective Dean had acted. Bobby would allow Dean to just be a kid when John had left both boys in his care, to relieve Dean of the weight of always watching over Sam, if only for a little while. At first, Bobby had wondered why John had felt he could trust his sons to him since he had no children of his own, but a bond had been forged because of that trust. A bond that to the present day was as strong as ever and that Bobby knew would never be compromised, even if the boys went evil. As difficult a choice it would be, if faced with such a horrifying prospect, Bobby would consider it his duty to make sure that neither Dean nor Sam would ever be left living as anything less than the men they were.
He had to admit that he had his fears about Sam. Addicted to demon blood, Bobby knew that Sam could only be facing a fate he wasn't ready for. There was nothing in the books that talked about what happened to humans when they loaded up on demon blood. Bobby had to admit though that Sam might be precedent setting, something he knew Sam had never wanted. Being the victim of the yellow-eyed demon when he was too helpless to know what was happening to him had marked Sam for life. Bobby knew that Sam's inner self was still intact, if anything, he saw more of the little boy, Sammy in him as he struggled to grapple with his past and meld it with his future. He was being misguided by Ruby, as any naïve boy would be swayed, on that he agreed with Dean, but Sam wasn't a lost cause. Sam had convinced himself that what he was doing to himself was worth it if he could save the world by killing Lillith, driven by the same kind of vengeance that drove their father, the kind that blinds. Sam's desire to do the right thing was there, but Sam's belief that he could only do it by tapping into his demon legacy spoke volumes of how gullible he was being. Bobby believed that Sam's only mistake was to choose to listen to Ruby instead of Dean, more a human frailty than a demon one.
Then there was Dean.
Bobby wasn't sure he believed in this so-called prophecy that Dean had told him about. Neither Dean nor Bobby were believers in destiny. Bad things happened. Fact of life as far as Bobby was concerned. It was about how you handled them that determined whether you kept fighting on or just curled up into a ball and let things destroy you. Dean had gone through what no good man should ever have had to by going to Hell and though he hadn't come through it undamaged, he had survived with a deeper zeal to fight evil, using his skills as a hunter and his humanity as a man to do it and Bobby knew that Dean would rise to the occasion as he had over and over again in the past. Dean had come close to giving in many times, but had managed to pull himself out in the nick of time every time. It was a strength Bobby admired. Under the dream root's control, he had been ready to give in, to finally punish himself for killing his wife, but it had been Dean who had yanked him from the brink, to reach him in a way that only Dean could, with his heartfelt words. Bobby knew that somehow Dean would find a way to reach out to Sam too, to undo what he had said to Sam and repair their relationship.
He knew that because he knew Dean was a better man. He had meant that more than anything else he had ever believed in his life. Better than his father, better than him. Bobby also knew that if Dean was meant to save the world, Dean would do it. It didn't mean that Bobby wasn't fearful about what would happen to both brothers, men he considered sons. He understood better than most that the battles they waged every day with demons was always filled with risk, this, what they were facing now, it topped anything else and Bobby knew that there would be losses, maybe even he might be sacrificed, but he was ready for that, had been ready when he had taken up the mantle of hunter. Only difference now was that he was willing to die for more than just a cause. He would be willing to go to Hell and back for his boys.
Of that, he was more than certain.
FIN. Just a quickie fic. After seeing Jim Beaver in Harper's Island die as the Sheriff last week and hearing his great lines towards his "daughter" Abby, I just HAD to write a Bobby POV. Hope you enjoyed it.