Disclaimer: I don't own the Darkest Powers or this wouldn't be on this website. Everything the characters say is a direct quote from the great mind of Kelley Armstrong, not mine.
Why I felt responsible for Chloe I didn't think I'd never know, but seeing her in danger made me feel like a failure. Seeing her miserable made me miserable. And seeing her hurt, just made me flat out angry, so when I'd smelled her blood, how do you think that made me feel?
I followed her scent down sidewalks and through alleys, and then it hit me. It was salty and had the distinct scent that could only belong to one person. I rushed now, already furious that she had left the parking lot.
Her scent lead down an alley, closed in on three sides. There were other scents there besides Chloe and Tori's. Three other girls had been here. Those scents were more common in the area but I didn't stop to think about what that meant.
I followed the trail back out of the alley. At one point Tori's trail broke off from Chloe's, but I didn't care where Tori went. She was a menace and if she was gone, I figured the trip to wherever we would go would be a lot more peaceful; one less mouth to feed, and one less voice to hear. Tori's would be a relieving departure.
I kept to Chloe's trail and it wasn't long until I found them. A girl had Chloe pinned to the ground and was murmuring something to her. I didn't care what she was saying. All I could see was the knife she held to Chloe's face and the trickle of blood down her cheek.
At that moment every method I'd developed to keep my cool just jumped out the window leaving me with pure instinct. I reached for her jacket, pulling her off Chloe and swinging her toward the closest solid object, a brick wall.
"No!" Chloe screamed. That one interruption brought everything back to me. In a split second I stopped, just stopped as memories flooded my brain.
Simon surrounded by a bunch of hicks with knives. The boy crumpled against the wall. The paramedics surrounding the school yard. The newspaper headlines the next day. My dad's face when he'd found out what I'd done. An elephant charging. A wolf battering itself against its cage. The paper with a section missing. Our empty house. The Lyle house. Dr. Gill teaching me what to do in exactly this situation. Chloe on the ground bruises on her arms matching the shape of my fingers. The look of fear on her face.
The girl in my hand kicked at me, hitting my leg and bringing me back to the present. I looked around for something better to do with her and decided on heaving her over the fence. She clattered onto some trashcans on the other side, hitting the ground loudly, but she was quickly forgotten.
Fury tore through me. Chloe had left the spot and gotten herself into trouble. She was hurt by that girl. And what seemed the worst was that I'd almost lost control of myself and flung that girl into a wall. In my anger it all traced back to Chloe.
I grabbed the collar of her shirt and pulled her onto her feet. We couldn't be found here and that girl had friends. "Move." I ordered. We walked for awhile before I couldn't contain myself anymore, so I spun on her and let it all out. "Did I tell you to stay put?" I asked towering over her.
"Yes, but-" I didn't want or need her excuses.
"Did I tell you to stay put!" I yelled. She was glancing around, weather to look for an escape, or to check for witnesses I wasn't sure, but either way she turned back to me and fed me the excuse that I'd told her to watch after Tori and so she'd followed her. I didn't care about that and I told Chloe quite plainly.
She looked up at me into my eyes, I don't know what she saw there but whatever it was she straightened her back and pulled my fingers off her arm. I hadn't even realized I'd grabbed her. I jerked my hand away and clenched and unclenched it feeling the tension in my fingers.
I tried to lighten my tone now, to stop yelling. "If she takes off, let her go," I said forcing to keep my voice low. "I don't care what happens to her."
A defiant look came to her eyes and the set of her lips told me she wasn't going to back down from this argument. "I do." She said glaring back at me. Seeing how angry she was at me upset me, but I wouldn't let Chloe see that.
I scratched my arm absently wondering why I felt so crappy when she was mad at me but noticed that she was watching. I automatically defended myself; I wouldn't have her freaking out over an itch. It's an itch," I told her scowling. "A normal itch." It was just an itch, right?
Concern automatically covered her features and she was changing the direction of the conversation just like that. "Have you had any other symptoms? Fever or-"
"No," I said bringing the anger into my voice. "Don't change the subject. You need to be more careful, Chloe. Like earlier, with that body" I brought up searching for more examples. "You need to think about what could happen." For a second I almost felt bad, seeing the way she shrunk back at the mention of our confrontation with some homeless guy's corpse the night before. That pity was quickly vanished when I saw her jaw set determinedly.
"And what about you?" She pointed to my fingers clawing at my arm. She shouted back at me about the stupidity of ignoring the signs that I would be changing and almost ruining the escape and almost getting her caught.
She wouldn't stop bringing up what I'd done wrong, what she hadn't done and what I had. The worst part was she was right for a lot of it. I hadn't known what was happening to me, but she didn't know what she could do in her sleep either. I had ordered her around and given her orders when she was trying to get rid of the zombie. When I was changing she hadn't rushed me, hadn't yelled that I was going to get her caught. I knew she was right, but I wouldn't admit it. Stupid, stubborn me, I couldn't be wrong. I brought up my lame points, and failed miserably at being convincing.
When she mentioned the night I'd changed, the night she'd stayed with me, it automatically hit home. I found myself fumbling for something to say, something to show her how much that had meant. "I… about that night. I haven't said…" I snapped myself out of it and squared my shoulders. I wouldn't be backing down from this one, and I wouldn't have one comment she made leaving me searching for the words to thank her; so I decided to change the subject and leave it for later, when I'd have a better argument. "We need to get back. Simon will be worried about you."
I turned and quickly started walking away; I could hear her following me more slowly. And I lost it, again. I spun and let her have it again. "Next time when I tell you to stay, I mean stay." I said as if I were lecturing a small child who had wondered off in the grocery store.
"I'm not a dog, Derek." She said steadily staring up at me.
I locked my jaw and forced myself not to clench my fists. "Maybe not, but you obviously need someone to look after you, and I'm tired of doing it." I came back.
"Don't." She said, her shoulders slumped and I could tell this argument was taking a toll on her, but I couldn't just drop it.
"Don't what?" I asked glaring down at her.
"Didn't we agree to stop bickering?" She asked as if she were trying to make peace. Yeah right.
"This isn't-"
"You're mad at yourself and you're taking it out on me." She stated in a sure manner.
That was it, I lost control and exploded. At that moment I thought my reaction was because of how ludicrous the statement was, but I later realized that the reason for my reaction was that she'd hit it right on the head. "I'm mad at you Chloe. You took off. You got in trouble. I had to rescue you." These were the facts that I had presented to myself earlier. My justification for freaking out on her the way I did, so I told her the exact reasons.
I glared at her while I shouted. She backed up, all the way to the chain-link fence. The look she was giving me was unbearable; it was a look of pure fear. No anger was left on her expression, only horror remained. And because of this, I yelled at her again.
"And stop doing that," I yelled looking her up and down. "Backing away, giving me that look." I was furious, I felt like heat was just rolling off of me.
"Like you're scaring me?" She retorted. "Maybe you are." And her expression told me this was no ammunition in her argument. I was scaring her. Tears streaked her face, but I didn't think she noticed; she was just glaring at me, her face red and her normally soft blue eyes red and bloodshot.
It was that look, and that comment, that made me back off. "I'd never hurt you, Chloe. You should know-" She had to know that I wouldn't hurt her. It made me feel horrible to know that that face of fear was no show. That she wasn't trembling of her own accord. I'd tried so hard not to scare her, to make her know that I wouldn't ever do anything to her, but she was still afraid. And it was my fault.
No. I thought to myself. "Next time? Handle it yourself. I'm done taking care of you." I said
She followed me back to Simon, and sadly Tori, at a safe distance. And because she didn't feel safe around me, I felt like a failure. And because she was miserable I was miserable. And because I'd hurt her, not physically but emotionaly, I was so, so angry.