The Loss of Love - Part 1
After his first proper encounter with Luna, Harry had started to see the world in a different light. He was sure that he would hate the ministry just as much as he did earlier, but maybe not all was as it seemed. Luna had provided him with a completely new perspective on things. She told him that he could be mistaken in thinking that his friends did not understand him and that it could be just a way of Voldemort operating. Her father had told her that divide and rule was the dark lord's way. And this time was nothing new except for ignorance of people.
Harry decided at that moment that he would spend more time with Luna, in library or elsewhere. He knew that she was considered an oddball even within her own house, and while he did not like that attitude towards innocent people like Luna, he saw this as an opportunity to have a very good friend; after all it's often said, your loss my gain.
So he sought Luna just after one of her classes. Having spent quite some time in her company, he already had some idea about her time table.
"Hey Luna" Harry called from the opposite direction that she had been going in.
"Oh hi Harry" Luna greeted him in her usual cheerfulness. Harry always smiled at that.
"Actually, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to study with me in the library, you know for company." Harry asked her. Even though DA was still going on, he still was not satisfied by it, because the serenity that he gained by being in Luna's presence was not obtainable in the DA sessions as they were mainly for learning to fight.
"Of course Harry. I'm assuming that you do not want any other friend to join you in study like, let's say, Hermione?" Luna said with a teasing smile. She sure could be devious.
"Merlin no. I get enough nagging from her as it is. She helps a lot, but her constant nagging and condescension is just too much. I wonder how Ron hasn't got mad with her, yet. Although, he probably doesn't even listen to her half the time, so no danger there."
"Don't worry. I know a spot in the library that she most certainly doesn't know. I have seen her enough times in the library to know that." She said the last part when he gave her a skeptical look, but he took her word for it because he knew that she could be very unpredictable even without wanting to.
They started meeting up in the library just as planned. Harry would say that he needed to think something or ask some teacher for something and then would go to the library and study with Luna. The DA was still going on and Luna was still a part of it and nobody suspected a thing about Harry and Luna's growing friendship.
It had only been a week and Harry was feeling relaxed as he had not been in the entire fifth year. Even Hermione's nagging or Ron's insistence on playing chess didn't bother him as much now.
One evening, when Harry was going to his usual place in the library, he saw that someone was already sitting at the table along with Luna, but since they were sitting near each other, Harry thought that they must be friends. So he continued towards the table. He sat down on the chair next to Luna. He recognised the girl sitting across Luna as a Slytherin, who Malfoy had taken to the Yule Ball last year.
His initial reaction towards anything slytherin would have been extreme repulsion, but not for this one. For one, he had been thinking lately that not everyone was as they seemed, the prime examples being Luna, his loyal and kind friend from Ravenclaw and Peter Pettigrew, the coward Gryffindor servant of his arch-enemy. Second was that, she had never participated in the irritate-the-hell-out-of-Potter campaign even if she was nearby. In fact, she almost seemed ashamed of such activities.
"Hello Harry. You arrived a bit late today. Anyway, she is Astoria Greengrass, my friend. Don't worry, she isn't like the other Slytherins and I trust her." The last part was said a lot seriously, probably to make sure that Harry understood that he could also trust her.
"Hello Astoria" He greeted politely.
"Hello Harry" She greeted him, but where he had anticipated a neutral or probably a repulsive greeting, he got a very warm and smiling greeting. He was surprised enough for it to show on his face.
Both Luna and Astoria smiled at him, Astoria specially so. "Not all Slytherins dislike you Harry." Astoria said in a friendly way.
"Yeah, but the number is enough to make me skeptical. But you don't seem to be a regular Slytherin so let me try again, Hello Astoria." This time his greeting was more friendly than polite, which got him an even warmer smile. "Hello again Harry"
"Have you two always been friends?" Harry asked curiously.
"Yeah, right from our first year. When Ginny had started to behave oddly, she became quite distant and then I met Astoria and we have been friends ever since."
"How come I didn't see you before today with Luna?" Harry asked again.
"For the same reason that no one sees your growing friendship with Luna. We don't want it to be known. And don't worry, I will never tell any one about our friendship either, if you don't want to" Astoria said before she realised what she had just said and asked in a quiet voice, "That is, if you want to be my friend?"
Sensing her reluctance, he decided to ease her, "Of course, you are my friend. I am mainly allergic to Malfoy and the likes, not cute girls like you." Both he and Astoria blushed immediately after he said that. Luna enjoyed their embarrassment for a while before directing them to study.
The peace that he gained by being in the presence of the two fourth year witches was refreshing for Harry. The next time when Harry, Ron and Hermione were leaving a class, he saw Astoria in the hallway and smiled at her.
"Why are you smiling at a Slytherin, Harry?" Hermione, the ever-observant, asked. Harry almost groaned before suppressing his irritation at her.
"Oh I know her. Once, she asked me for help in Charms when I was in the Library. So sometimes, we greet each other." Harry explained her evasively, even though he knew more questions will come.
"When were you in the Library?" It was a very demeaning way in which she asked that, but that was exactly what he was waiting for.
"When I was looking for books on Defence for DA. Do you remember that, Hermione? Or do you think that I can't do well in defence even?" Harry snapped at her.
Sufficiently cowed, Hermione didn't pester him further. But Harry could see Ron sniggering behind her. Well, having an idiotic friend had some benefits. He could not believe the gall of Hermione. First, she kept him in the dark for so long in the summer just on the orders of Dumbledore. And now, she herself was asking him questions as if it was her birth-right to know every detail about everyone's life.
Thankfully, neither of them had a clue about his friendship with the two witches as he was keeping his cloak and map with him at all times under the pretense that he needed that for the safety of DA. Also, his temper was far better than previously because of them, but again he needed to keep up the pretense so he was behaving exactly as they would have expected them too. Neither Luna nor Astoria were appreciative of that because 'Umbitch' was hurting Harry, but Harry was always the stubborn one.
Anyway this kept up until the end of the year, when the DA was exposed and soon after they had the exams.
But just after the exams, the 'Golden trio' alongwith Neville, Ginny and Luna went to protect Sirius but instead ended up in a trap. Voldemort was exposed that day in front of the entire ministry, but Sirius was killed.
Harry grieved a lot for him, but it was helped because he was corresponding with his two new secret best friends. They helped him come to terms with the loss and helped him realise that it wasn't his fault that Sirius died. This particular incident solidified his friendship with them more than anything could have ever done.
None of his best friends understood what he was going through and kept on pushing him towards getting over the death of his godfather or persuading him to tell them about it and alongwith whatever Dumbledore had told him at the end of the last year, as if that was even remotely important compared to Sirius. Although, he did tell them about the prophecy eventually when he was staying at the Burrow.
Ginny did understand his grief and was the most supportive of his old friends. He was almost convinced that it was the witches a year younger than him that had the special power to understand him, but then dismissed the thoughts as stupid.
The sixth year started like any other, except for the fact that now Voldemort, the greatest modern Dark Lord was back. His friendship with Astoria and Luna remained as good as ever.
Ron and Hermione seemed to be apart this year on account of Ron dating Lavender, who was hated by Hermione because she was dating the boy that Hermione wanted. In the opinion of the new secret trio, if she had wanted to date Ron, then she shouldn't have nagged and irritated the hell out of him every time she saw him. Although, Ron did eventually break up with the lip devourer and began dating Hermione.
As for Harry, he had initially been confused by Ginny at first. It seemed as if she was over the fangirl phase and had gotten over him, but at times it seemed like she still liked him. And he liked her back too, the only problem was that Dean was dating her.
But one day, when Ginny had finally had enough of Dean patronising her and treating her as a clay figure, she dumped him. Harry was very happy that day and soon took advantage of the situation by kissing her in front of everyone in the common room during a celebration after a Quidditch match, where he had been absent due to detention.
They went out for the rest of the year. But at the end of the year, Dumbledore was killed after a death eater strike at school. Dumbledore had been giving Harry lessons since the beginning of the year. Harry had abstained from sharing the information about the memories with his actual best friends, but shared with his two previous best friends. Astoria and Luna had both been upset initially, but when Harry begged them for forgiveness because he couldn't put them in danger by involving them directly in anything, they finally forgave him. He also said that he trusted Ron and Hermione enough for them to keep it a secret, but he didn't care for them as much as he did previously.
He knew that no matter what happened, he couldn't lose the friendship of Luna and Astoria, so even when he was dating Ginny, he would still make time for the pair of them so they wouldn't get upset him again.
Anyway, he finally broke up with Ginny at the funeral saying that he wanted her to be safe and being his girlfriend was not the way to do that, which was the truth. He cared for her enough to not be able to put her in any kind of danger.
The next year was spent roaming in the countryside or forests researching Horcruxes or waiting for signs that could tell them where they could be found. It was very frustrating for the three of them, i.e., Ron, Harry and Hermione. But Harry was content to see that Luna and Astoria were keeping away from the trouble that was at Hogwarts through the map. Although, Ginny was always close to the trouble, probably to keep the spirit of revolution alive.
The hunt for Horcruxes opened Harry's eyes in a new way. Even though he still cared for both Ron and Hermione deeply, they were not able to talk much about anything. Emotionally, they had become distant, but he still believed that they would be forever his friends even if not best friends and therefore he immediately accepted when Ron came back after leaving.
When they were captured by Greyback, they got the chance to rescue Luna and Ollivander alongwith Griphook, but their rescuer Dobby was killed by Bellatrix's knife.
Harry asked Luna about her and Astoria's well-being. She told him that both were well, except for the last few days. She had recently been kidnapped because of her father, who had abandoned his subtle, crazy approach in lieu of outrightly calling Voldemort bad names and campaigning against him. It was something that Luna's father had taught Luna as well that if you behave crazy enough, then you will get only trustworthy friends and even the enemies would not consider you a serious threat, a win-win situation.
Shortly after the rescue, the final battle took place at Hogwarts. There were a lot of casualties including Tonks and Remus, who had recently named Harry as the godfather to their son, Edward 'Teddy' Lupin. Snape had also died, but he turned out to be good, so good in fact that, even Voldemort was fooled and killed by Harry. Harry had only turned his attention towards the dead after Voldemort died, for fear of getting overwhelmed by guilt of the deaths. He still felt a bit guilty about Sirius.
And so it was only after seeing Fred dead that he got the biggest shock of his life.
When he moved towards him, the first thing he received was a teeth-rattling slap which made him lose balance, and then he received a punch directly on the nose finishing the job of throwing him to the ground.
He looked up towards the faces of his attackers only to be shocked by the Weasley siblings looming over him, Ron and Ginny the closest.
"You bastard, stay away from my brother. It's all because of you that he is dead."
"What? Are you out of your mind, Ron? I was either in the battle, or searching for horcruxes the whole time." Harry growled in a low voice.
"And what good did it do? Voldemort wanted to kill you and you are still alive, but Fred died." This time it was George who spoke.
"What? How can you say that? You behave as if he didn't mean anything to me. Ginny, you understand me, right? I didn't do anything to Fred. He was my brother as well." Harry practically begged her to understand. He could not do this alone. But what he received was another quick slap.
"Don't call him your brother." Ginny hissed. "You got all of us involved in this mess, and look at our family now, it's broken. And it's all because of you."
Harry got up and looked for Hermione, who was standing behind Ron. "Hermione, please say something." This time, it was clear that he was pleading not just to Hermione, but everyone. His eyes were travelling to all the Weasleys including the parents, but none of them said anything; all looked at him as if he was a stranger. Hermione broke the silence by quietly saying, "It is actually your fault. If only you had died like the prophecy said and taken the evil with you, there would have been more people alive today, including Fred." Even with the quiet voice, the venom in her voice was clear as day.
Harry almost broke down seeing that the only family that he had remaining didn't even consider him a friend, when all they had lost was one family member from such a large family, while his had been destroyed completely today. But he held back and fled the Hall and Hogwarts. He knew that the only reason that the Weasleys didn't attack him was because of the other people populating the Hall.
He went to the Grimmauld Place knowing that, now that he was the master of the house, no one could disturb him. He asked Kreacher to lock down the place, and he immediately obeyed. He had been respectful towards Harry, ever since he had destroyed the locket.
He only spent a few hours there before realising that he needed his friends and not 'friends' at the moment. He immediately owled Astoria to meet up at the Leaky Cauldron as soon as possible by asking Tom. He knew that she wouldn't have waited in the Hall for anything else and would have immediately left for her home, where Luna's father was also residing.
Currently, Harry was sitting in the room of the Leaky Cauldron that he had rented earlier in the day. When he heard someone entering his room, he turned his head to see Astoria closing the door behind her. He immediately went to her, put his arms around her and broke down.
She started soothing him, by stroking his back, his hair, and whispered in his ear, "It's OK. Don't worry, Harry. I won't ever leave you. Luna will never leave you. I am here. I will always be here for you." After ten minutes of crying, Harry finally lifted his head, only to see that she was also crying.
He raised his hands to wipe her tears. He never wanted her to cry. She had always been his strength, even in his toughest moments. It almost broke him again to see her crying. He knew that she was also scarred to see so many deaths in a single day, but she was still holding him. He couldn't resist himself at that moment and he leaned towards her and kissed her. It was a quick peck, because he didn't want her to feel forced. It was also with that kiss, that he realised something that had been staring him right in the face ever since the start of his sixth year. He loved her. He cared for her. And he would do anything to keep her happy.
And he told her so, "Astoria, I love you. I love you so much. Would you be my girlfriend?"
Her eyes widened, "Wha..? But?"
Harry panicked when he heard this and immediately assured her, "You don't have to answer now. Please take your time. If you want me to be your boyfriend, I'll be ready. And if not, then I still don't want to lose my best friend. But please just consider it. Don't say no now."
Astoria seemed confused as to what to say now, "No Harry, I can't be your girlfriend. Please, I'm sorry." Harry's face fell at that, so she assured him, "But I'll always be your friend."
Knowing Astoria as well as Harry knew, he understood that she had made her decision and all he could do was accept it and that's what he did, because he loved her too much to lose her friendship as well. "I understand. I'll always be your friend too." He embraced her again. He decided that he would ask for the reason later; right now, it was too early. They spent some more time together after Astoria insistence on not leaving him in his current state before leaving.
Harry, Luna and Astoria would spend time together everyday following the war. Luna had asked Neville as well, but it turned out that whatever spine he had developed during fifth year, it had been molded into the shape that Ginny wanted when she took over the DA, all thanks to her temper.
Sometimes, Daphne would also join in their free time. While the Greengrass family had always believed in blood superiority, they had changed their opinions when they saw the effects of Voldemort's reign in the form of the Madam Bones' and the Minister's death, who were purebloods and highly respected in the society. But Astoria had always been different, from her interests to her dressing and behavior. She was open-minded. She respected traditions while understanding the need for equality and tolerance.
It was one such time when the newly proclaimed golden trio had met up; after all, the Weasleys alongwith Hermione had to lose all respect due to their treatment of Harry.
The trio had met up for lunch at the three broomsticks. Luna had left early due to some 'technical' problem with the Quibbler, where she worked with her father these days. They had been facing more pressure than ever to print because of the boom in the number of subscribers in the post-'Daily Prophet' era.
So, Harry and Astoria were taking a walk on the outskirts of Hogsmeade near the Shrieking Shack. It was the perfect place for Harry to initiate the conversation that he had been dying to have with her.
"Astoria, you know that I love you right." Seeing her changing expression, he quickly added, "No, right now I'm not asking you out. And you also cannot stop me loving you. I just... I'm concerned for you. I know that you have already said that you do not want to date me but you never even told me the reason. And recently, you have been very quiet." Harry was speaking in a very quiet voice now, almost whispering. "Please tell me, are you alright?" When she turned from him, he continued, "You cannot hide from me forever, Tori. I love you, I care for you and I have been a friend to you. Don't you think that I deserve at least an explanation?"
At that, she finally turned, but her eyes were overflowing with tears and she said angrily, "What do you want to hear? Why I don't want to date you? You jerk, I never said that I do not want to date you. And that is because I do want to go out with you and be your girlfriend. But I cannot. But did you stop for an explanation before trying to judge me? No."
Harry was completely taken aback by this revelation. He had assumed that she wasn't interested in him, which itself was very weird because she had always seemed interested in him. And that is why he wanted an answer from her. He quietly said, "I'm sorry, but I don't understand this. If you and I both want to date each other, then what is the problem? Why can't you date me?"
Astoria looked slightly apologetic after her initial outburst, "Don't be sorry. It's my fault." She took a deep breath before continuing, "You are not the only one to keep secrets, Harry." Seeing his confused expression, she started elaborating the reason, "I'm engaged to Draco. Actually, I've been since my third year, your fourth. I always disliked him, even if only slightly. But when he asked me to the Yule Ball, I could only think of one thing. I might not get asked again. And besides, I thought that I didn't necessarily have to spend the entire evening with him. So I went with him. I think he had had his eyes on me for a long time, because the next thing I know, father was telling me that he has drawn up a contract with Lucius for me and Draco.
Even though, the Malfoys gave the impression of selfish, sneaky people to father, he still believed that at least his daughter would enjoy in the rich and respected family. And he explained it to me directly. Of course, the guilty expression that went alongside the explanation told me that fear was also an important factor in this. He did not want to drag the family into the war, that he was sure would come with the return of the dark lord, of which he was also sure about because my mother has partial blessing of the gift of inner eye.
Anyway, the contract is ironclad and there is nothing that could be done that can prevent this marriage from happening, short of one of us dying." Astoria was crying again by the end of the explanation, and tears were also streaming down Harry's face. "So I cannot be with you, Harry. But please know this, I love you too. You mean to me more than anything in this world."
They both leaned towards one another for their display of love for the other, but then they saw a flash of light and Harry instinctively ducked along with Astoria and pointed his own wand at the attacker. When he saw blonde hair, he knew that this could get ugly, a lot ugly. And therefore, he disarmed Malfoy before he could do anything else.
"You bastard! How dare you touch my fiancee. And you whore! what had I told you about meeting other men." For a second, Harry was shocked that this was the same person who he had rescued in the final battle and who he had defended in the Wizengamot trials of the death eaters.
But Harry was ignored as Malfoy advanced arrogantly towards what he probably considered his property. "Go to your house immediately and stay there. Once I deal with this scum, then I will deal with you." Harry was disturbed with the way Malfoy was addressing Astoria, and without thinking about the repercussions (a freedom easily afforded to the saviour of the wizarding world), he used the body-bind curse on him. And then, with only slight amount of hesitation, he used legilimency on him.
Whatever he had been expecting, it had been magnified at least ten times. Ever since the drawing up of the contract, Draco had been ordering her around, making her do the tasks that he didn't want to get his hands dirty with. It was with great difficulty that Astoria managed to meet up with Harry and Luna. And when the battle had ended, he would often visit her house or invite her to his own. And when privacy was assured, he would again order her around. But this time much more menial. He would also take his frustration out on her in the form of beating her. The privacy charms ensured that no one could hear her. He would then heal her and she would have to face her family with glamour charms to hide the remains of the beating. She didn't want her family to have to face the consequences of breaking the contract so she would stay quiet.
Not having the strength to watch any more, Harry finally withdrew. But now, his face looked like the face of Death herself to Malfoy. He was absolutely terrified, and he would have remained frozen even without the body bind curse. Harry simply raised his hand and a powerful beam shot out towards Malfoy, instantly exploding him and evaporating the remains.
The energy spent was too much for Harry and he promptly passed out, but not before hearing his love calling him in a panicked voice.
AN: So that's the first part complete. Second and final part will be up soon. And to pique your curiosity, let me tell you that they have one more problem to encounter before the happy ending.
The Weasleys are not exactly bad. But the war changed them, maybe it's too much, maybe it's not, I don't know. But people change, that's one of the central aspects of this story.