The Price They Paid

Author's note: This is my first Criminal Minds story so bear with me. I wanted to make a Rossi story that was a little different and I came up with this. It involves a slightly AU version of Carolyn and I shamelessly used Strauss as the antagonist. Sorry for that, I love the actress and was sad they killed her off.

Warning: this story deals with a child's death, has profanity, and violence. Trigger warning for Vietnam and a baby's death.

Rossi slipped and slid as he made his way around the back of the unsub's house. At least they were hoping it was his house because he was keeping at least three hostages and they were desperate to find them. The ramshackle, shingled house had indeed seen better days, and the acre of land that surrounded it was overgrown and littered with trash. Garcia's information had led himself, Hotch, and Morgan here in the last light of a fall night. Hotch and Morgan had already disappeared around the left side of the house as Rossi, on the right, was discovering that the property angled sharply down to a small creek. He looked worriedly at the fifty foot hill, not wanting to slip down that.

Suddenly, he heard a door creak and before he could find any cover, a shot rang out. He let out a startled cry as pain erupted in his thigh, knocking him off balance. He tumbled down the slope coming to a stop just before the dirty stream claimed him. It was the Rossi luck that kept him conscious, Dave thought to himself as he gasped in pain from the bullet to his leg. He quickly realized that the slug must have nicked the artery as bright red blood spread over his leg. He fumbled with his belt as he listened to the frightened cries of women coming from the unsub's backyard. He heard Hotch's voice calling his name clearly at first, but then his voice became muffled. Dave tightened the belt around his upper thigh and the flow of blood receded somewhat.

"It's gonna have to do for now," He thought as he started to notice signs of shock in himself. This was not going the way he wanted at all. He took only seconds to think before he turned to climb the slope, sucking in his breath as he fought not to cry out in pain. His only chance was to make the unsub think he was dead so the shooter wouldn't come looking for him.

Meanwhile, Hotch and Morgan had literally stepped in it. As they had rounded the house, they heard the women calling for help and headed to the back of the yard that was covered in the brown, rusty leaves of the nearby maple trees. Morgan was a few feet ahead of Hotch and the two had just registered that the ground felt unusual underneath them when they heard the gunshot and Rossi's cry. Hotch called his name just as he and Derek felt the ground break under them. In seconds they had fallen into a deep pit, and also discovered their missing victims. They both heard heavy footsteps coming from the back of the house and realized quickly that they and the hostages would be shooting ducks in a matter of moments.

"Hotch, you all right?" Morgan whispered.

"Yeah, just a twisted ankle. You?"

"I'm fine." Morgan turned to the other hostages and found them to be in differing states. Some had been held longer than others. The two agents convinced them to be quiet so they could hear anything that might be coming.

"What happened to Rossi?" Derek whispered. "You think they shot him." The younger agent watched the blood drain slightly from his boss's face. Rossi was Aaron's best friend. Hotch flashed back to all the ways Dave had helped him get through not only physical, but emotional situations. The feisty, rebellious agent could drive him nuts at times, but living without the Italian was not something he could even think about now.

"Derek," he said, firmly compartmentalizing at this point, "we have to get out of here or it won't even matter." Morgan nodded and began to walk the perimeter of the dark hole, looking for anything that might help them get out. The hostages looked at them with round, frightened eyes, but remained quiet.

Down the hill, Rossi was struggling. He had stopped most of the serious bleeding, but was still losing blood at an alarming rate. He swallowed and blinked, focusing on the top of the hill as he inched up. For the first time in years, he even prayed that he'd be able to reach the top and help his friends. Not once did his own predicament bother him, he was totally focused on the top of that hill and his friends. As less blood went to his brain, his consciousness returned to a similar experience from many years before.

DRDRDRDRDRDRDRDRDR

Vietnam

"Operation Ranch Hand, Davy!" His commanding officer slapped him on the back as they lay in their foxhole. The unique sounds of AK-47 fire and grenades echoed around them. "We'll be able to see these assholes!" Rossi shook his head in disbelief. The foliage around them seemed to cover up the enemy just fine as far as he was concerned. The smell and greasy feeling of the chemical seemed only to add to the men's grief. He looked up at the small hill they were hiding behind.

"Sarge, they are firing on us from that hill. We gotta get up there." Rossi had watched as several of his friends were picked off. He flinched as some shrapnel imbedded itself in his arm. The other man looked at him.

"Stay here, Davy. I got this." Dave watched as his superior and friend launched himself forward up the hill. He didn't make it far before he was wounded, but he managed to toss a lucky grenade directly into the nest of enemy fighters on the hill. It suddenly got very quiet but for the groans and cries of the wounded. Later, Dave had tears in his eyes as he helped load the dead and wounded on the copter. His sergeant grasped his arm and smiled at the younger Rossi.

"Rossi, the true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."

"G.K. Chesterton." Rossi knew this quote by heart. And on that day, the young and impressionable David Rossi learned a truth that he would carry with him his entire life. A truth that would help him in the FBI as he chased killers instead of soldiers. It always made him realize that revenge was not what he lived for, but rather the protection of those he loved.

Dave shook his head to clear the memory and assessed his situation. If he were to lie still, the chances were good that he might not die of blood loss before someone found him. He knew J.J., Reid, and Garcia would soon be here when they realized their team wasn't checking in. But, he also knew something had to have happened to Morgan and Hotch or they would have found him by now. The unsub was on the loose as well, and might be after Dave's friends. It really wasn't a big choice for Rossi. He knew he had to save the ones he loved and the innocent hostages. It wasn't a part of him to even think that he, himself, might die trying. He had to do it, and he had to succeed.

Sweating profusely by now, Dave struggled up the last few feet and stayed close to a large tree. Through blurry eyes he saw that the unsub was slowly walking toward what looked like a sinkhole in the backyard. He was facing away from Dave, waving a .45 automatic and shouting at the hole.

"You're dead now, FBI agents!" The unsub cried out as he slipped a grenade from his pocket. "I'm just gonna chuck this in there with you if you don't mind." He was laughing and grinning.

Rossi knew procedure was to try and get the guy to surrender. He knew that. But, he also knew that he wouldn't be conscious for much longer. He struggled to aim his automatic at the unsub. The last thing he heard before he passed out was the gunshot, and somewhere inside of him he managed to hope he didn't miss.

DRDRDRDRDRDRDRDR

Oh, wow. Dave thought, you really do see a bright light! He blinked rapidly and became aware that he was moving. Each bump was agony as sharp pains shot up his leg. Then reality hit him and he realized dead people didn't feel pain. They also didn't hear voices, and he desperately strained to decipher the ones he was now hearing. He felt a hand on his shoulder gripping tightly.

"Dave, Dave, buddy stay with me." Hotch peered down at the ghostly white face of his best friend. The stretcher finally reached pavement and Rossi was quickly loaded into an awaiting ambulance. Hotch looked over his shoulder for Morgan. He spotted him a short distance away talking to a fireman.

"Morgan, you got this?" Hotch yelled. The younger man waved at him to go with Rossi.

"We're getting the rest of the victims into ambulances now. Local PD has the unsub in custody and is taking him to the hospital. Go with Dave, I can handle this."

About halfway to the hospital Dave began to mutter. "I shot him….no warning…he had…grenade." Hotch grasped his hand.

"You got him, Dave. Before he could toss that grenade into the hole and kill us all." He didn't know if he was being heard, but he continued, "He's not dead, but you got him in the shoulder and he dropped the grenade before he could pull the pin. It was a justified shoot, don't worry about that. You have to get well. Just rest and let them take care of you."

The ambulance drew up in front of the hospital, and Dave was taken into the E.R. Hotch looked around and was glad to see the rest of the team had arrived in the waiting room.

"How is he?"

"What happened?"

"Is Morgan okay?"

"Are you okay?"

"Where is the unsub?"

Aaron let the questions roll across his shoulders like a welcome wave of cool air on a hot summer day. Stressful events were always somehow less stressful when you could share them with family. He considered this group family. After they all settled in chairs, Hotch answered them as well as he could. He looked up to see J.J. and Garcia, who were across from the door, stiffen slightly in their chairs. Looking back he saw why. Erin Strauss, BAU Section Chief strode purposely toward the group. She did not look happy.

"I've just come from a meeting with a very angry State Senator, SSA Hotchner. He wants to know why one of my team shot his son with no warning on his own property!" She blasted.

Aaron took a breath trying to stay calm. "Chief Strauss, will you have a seat?" When she hesitated, he continued, "It's a long story." After a long, angry stare she finally relented and sat across from him as Reid moved to accommodate her. Silently, the young man marveled that Strauss hadn't even asked if Rossi was okay, but he held his tongue as Aaron began to speak.

"We had information that our unsub had used that address. We knew he had kidnapped eight women, but so far we'd only found five bodies, and we suspected he was holding them there, which he was. We thought the house was empty, but we heard crying and screaming coming from somewhere outside. We had to investigate. Dave went one way and Morgan and I went the other. It happened very fast. We heard a shot and then the ground dropped from under us. Turns out the hostages were being held in a hole that had been covered with thin plywood and yard debris. Once our weight was on it, Morgan and I fell into the hole. We didn't know it, but Dave had been shot. We were sitting ducks when we heard the unsub come out of a hidden cellar and start toward us with a grenade in his hand. He told us that he was going to drop it in the hole and kill us. Then, and I don't know how he did it, but Dave shot the guy just in time. I don't think there was time for a warning, and frankly, I think Dave was in no shape to give one."

"It is policy to tell the unsub who we are and give them the chance to surrender." Erin said slowly through gritted teeth. She couldn't figure out why Dave had not just done that. He was always the renegade, going off book when it pleased him. Well, this time he was going to have to face the music when a government official was involved.

"Erin," Hotch tried once again to be calm with her. "There was no time. The unsub was about to kill all of us trapped in that damned hole, and Dave…." Hotch knew his friend would not like getting the credit he was due, but Strauss had to know about this.

"What about Dave?" She asked. "He was shot in the leg. No one said he had to chase the guy. Why didn't he identify himself?"

Hotch gritted his teeth, but it couldn't control his anger. "Dave was bleeding profusely because when he was shot he fell down a slope on the property. It was pure luck that the unsub didn't see him. Instead of just lying there which a lot of men would have done, Dave dragged himself up that hill. When he got to the top he was nearly unconscious. But, when he saw that unsub about to throw a grenade, he got off one shot before he passed out. He saved us all, Erin. He deserves a medal, not you chastising him about regulations." Hotch looked up as he saw a doctor approach. "We don't even know yet if he's even going to make it."

It was dead quiet in the room as the doctor explained Rossi's injury and prognosis. He'd lost a lot of blood, but they were very hopeful. They, of course, wanted to see him and when the doctor said only one at a time, they quickly organized a schedule. No one was really surprised at what Dave had done. He was that kind of man, loyal and brave. There were a few tears when they realized how close their little family had come to losing three of their members. It was a reality check for them, reminding them all of how dangerous the job they chose to do was.

As they settled in for the wait, with coffee and snacks from the snack machine, Erin chose to leave. She realized that now was not the time to harass them about Dave not following procedure, although she still didn't think it was right no matter what the situation was. She wasn't done with him. He may lose his job over this one. It wasn't smart to ignore FBI rules, especially when dealing with powerful people like the senator. No one seemed to notice her leave.

"Hotch, do you think Dave will really get in trouble?" Reid asked quietly.

"For saving our lives?" Hotch replied. "Not if I can help it." He turned to Morgan. "If you help me, I'd like to do something about that right now."

"Anything." Derek replied quickly. Hotch then asked Penelope for her help too, and the three of them got up.

"We'll be at the bureau for just a little while." He explained to Reid and Emily. "Call us immediately if Dave's condition changes."

No one asked any questions. They trusted their leader completely. Emily looked up after they left and spotted a beautiful, older woman with long, auburn hair coming into the E.R. looking scared and confused. She approached the desk and Emily heard her ask about Dave Rossi. Getting to her feet, Prentiss approached the woman.

"Excuse me. I'm a friend of Dave Rossi." The woman looked at her in confusion, and Emily smiled to try to calm her. She wondered immediately if this was Dave's latest girlfriend.

"I…..heard on the news that he was hurt." The woman blurted out. "Please tell me that he's okay!"

"Come sit down." Emily took the woman's arm and led her to a chair between Reid and herself. "My name is Emily Prentiss, and this is Spencer Reid. We work with Dave. The doctors have told us that Dave lost a lot of blood, but that his prognosis is good. We're waiting now for him to get to a room so we can go see him."

She waited for the woman to take in the news, and then she asked, "Are you a friend of his?"

"I'd like to think we're still friends." The woman responded. "Sorry, my name is Carolyn and I'm Dave's first wife." She noted their surprise, but couldn't stop letting a few tears slide down her cheeks anyway. Emily reached out and laid a hand on her arm.

"Dave's told me a lot about you." Emily said to Spencer's surprise.

"I hope it wasn't all bad." Carolyn returned. She looked hopeful when Emily smiled softly.

"It wasn't bad at all." The younger woman told her. "He loves you a lot."

Shocked a little that her ex-husband had actually shared something so personal with a friend, Carolyn met Emily's eyes and could see it was the truth. Maybe her Dave had changed?

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked.

Prentiss, seeing that Dave's ex-wife was sincerely worried about him, complied and told the story. She only left out a few classified things.

"That's so much like him." Carolyn began to cry when she'd heard the story. As Spencer left to get more coffee, Emily and Carolyn both spoke about their favorite FBI profiler. Emily began to feel close to this woman, which is why she inadvertently blurted out something she had no business asking.

"Is the job why you and Dave broke up?" Oh, way to go, Prentiss, she thought to herself.

Carolyn wasn't offended, but she answered with a question. "You mean Dave never told you why?"

Emily shook her head and replied. "You so don't have to answer that. It really is none of my business…." She stopped when Carolyn held up her hand.

"My Dave is the loyal, honest person you know." She said. "But, something so tragic happened in our marriage, that he just closed up emotionally. Oh, he can be there for his friends, but for whatever reason, he couldn't seem to open up to me. He felt guilty and ashamed, and he couldn't handle it, so we just grew further apart."

Emily felt terrible for asking in the first place. Apparently, Dave had cheated on his wife. "So there was another woman." She said gently.

"What? No, he never cheated on me! Why would you think that?"

"I'm so sorry," Emily felt even worse now. "It's just… Dave's reputation?"

Carolyn smiled. "Dave spent his life after we broke up trying to somehow be the person for another woman that he couldn't be for me. It obviously didn't work too well for him." Carolyn's eyes were watery. "If he'd just talked to me…. But he felt so guilty."

"You don't need to tell me. I just have to ask because I care about him. What did happen, Carolyn?"

Carolyn looked away for a moment before she squared her shoulders and faced Emily. "You can never tell him you know this." Prentiss nodded. "Dave and I got pregnant a few years into our marriage. He was back from Vietnam, and was working at the FBI. He was over the moon with joy. He brought me flowers, rubbed my feet, the whole loving husband routine. We were so happy." Carolyn took a small breath and continued. "But, late in the pregnancy, the doctor told us something was wrong and that we should be prepared. When James was born he had many things wrong with his heart and lungs. The doctors told us that he wouldn't make it. We held him and cried for the few hours that we had him."

"I am so sorry, Carolyn." Emily felt the loss strongly due to her own past experience.

"It happens. Especially back then. But, that's not what broke us up." Carolyn continued. "Unfortunately, this type of thing had happened to other friends of ours whose husbands had served in Vietnam. It later became clear that an herbicide they were all exposed to called "Agent Orange" had triggered birth defects and other health issues for the soldiers and their children. Dave blamed himself for thinking it wouldn't happen to him. He felt that he'd been selfish and cruel to marry me knowing I wanted children and that this could happen. It was not a certainty, but a possibility, and I did not blame him in any way. Unfortunately, Dave could not get over it. He refused to try to have other children. We argued all the time. He held his grief over James death inside so tightly that he became closed off emotionally. I finally had enough and asked for a divorce, but I never stopped loving him."

"Knowing him as I do now," Emily replied, "I can still see that."

"Yeah." Carolyn looked up as a doctor came in.

"If you are waiting for news on David Rossi, he's in a room now. I can take one of you there."

The two women looked at each other. Emily gestured for Carolyn to go. The older woman thanked her and followed the doctor to Dave's room. The blinds were drawn and only a light above the bed illuminated the room. She sighed when she saw him. He had a dark complexion, but today looked like someone had drained the blood from his face. A nurse was just finishing his I.V. and she turned to Carolyn.

"He lost a lot of blood, but I think he's a very strong man. We stitched up his leg and now we are giving him more blood. He's been in and out of consciousness."

Carolyn thanked her and slowly moved to her ex's side. Dave's thick, dark hair was usually so neatly combed, but now it stuck out at all angles. She gently used her hand to smooth it, all the while being internally bombarded with sweet memories of their life together. She missed him so much, and now had almost lost her chance to tell him how much she still loved him. She had remarried and had given birth to two children who were now leading adult lives. Her husband had passed a few years ago from cancer. Although she loved him, she knew that only Dave had really captured her heart and it made her feel a little guilty, but her life with the father of her children had been fulfilling. That was okay she guessed, but she had missed that fire she had with David. His courage, wit, and endless energy had kept her on her toes. Life with him had been exciting and sometimes even dangerous. It had brought about her deepest emotions, and she admitted to herself that she missed it all. She missed it every day. Dave hadn't been the calm and steady rock that her second husband was. She smiled when she thought about how when Charlie, her second husband, had been upset about something he had talked endlessly about it. It had been a nice change from Dave, who kept his feelings to himself until they finally erupted in a monumental argument that she often didn't even know what was about.

Dave stirred on the bed and Carolyn stepped forward. His dark eyes opened and he blinked, trying to understand what it was he was seeing.

"It's me, darling." Carolyn said softly. "How do you feel?"

"Why are you here?" Dave managed to rasp out of his very sore throat. Carolyn reached for a glass of water with a straw and held it for him to drink.

"I…. I saw on the news that you'd been shot, Dave. I was so scared." She leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead.

"I didn't know you still cared." Dave responded softly.

"Let me tell you, baby." Carolyn started, and then the two talked until Dave needed more pain medicine and he slept.

DRDRDRDRDRDRDR

It had been several weeks since the shooting and the BAU was getting back to normal. Erin Strauss got word that the Director of the FBI wanted to meet with her in his office. When she came back, the team shuddered because she looked angrier than she'd ever been.

"Wonder what that was about?" Morgan asked Hotch. The two men smiled.

"What's going on, you two?" Prentiss demanded to know.

"You'll see very soon." Hotch replied. "Oh, and by the way, it is mandatory that everyone attend the award ceremony this afternoon. No excuses!" He gave them the infamous Hotch glare and they all knew they better attend or else.

Meanwhile, David Rossi was being David Rossi and loudly complaining about having to go to an award ceremony. He and Carolyn were at his house while she patiently and firmly managed to get him into an appropriate outfit. He was finally able to walk without a cane, but he wanted to remain in his old, soft jeans instead of the dress pants she wanted him to wear.

"Why do I have to go?" Dave whined.

"Because Hotch called and said attendance was mandatory. Davy, you are finally going back to work on Monday. Do you really want to mess that up over a simple ceremony?" Dave sighed.

"Look, I think it's great that those men and women are honored for their service that went above and beyond. I go every year, they know that. Is it too much to ask after all I've been through lately to just have a quiet afternoon before I head back to the job."

Carolyn did understand, she really did, but Hotch had made her promise to get him there.

"We'll just walk in as the ceremony is starting, and leave immediately afterward. You can claim you don't feel good. Everyone will understand. No schmoozing, I promise!" She gave him her most reassuring smile followed by a warm hug. She felt him relax and knew she had won this battle.

DRDRDRDRDRDRDRDR

The team all sat together along with Carolyn. There were many other family members at the ceremony. Everyone was there to honor those who were getting awards. The Director smiled as he handed out FBI Stars and Meritorious Achievement medals. Carolyn could tell Dave was getting restless, so she leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Rossi's eyebrows crept up and he kissed her on the lips in front of all his friends. Settling in, they listened to the Director.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the FBI Shield of Bravery is presented for brave and courageous acts occurring in the line of duty or within the scope of FBI employment which may extend to major assistance to a task force or undercover operation, grave situations, or crisis confrontations associated with the highest priority cases of the FBI." He paused, before continuing, "We are proud to present the Shield of Bravery to Senior Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi, in recognition of an exceptional act of bravery while on a task force assembled to find and arrest a serial killer in the D.C. area. SSSA Rossi, along with two other agents was investigating an address associated with the serial killer when he was shot in the leg. Despite this life-threatening injury, Rossi put his own life in danger to save the lives of his colleagues. His actions saved not only them, but three innocent hostages as well, and resulted in the arrest of the killer. SSSA Rossi, without regard to his own safety, displayed courage and compassion in the face of tremendous adversity. We are proud to present this award to Senior Special Supervisory Agent David Rossi."* He stepped back from the podium and smiled at Rossi. The auditorium erupted with applause, while Dave just sat there in utter shock.

"Dave, buddy, you have to go get the award." Hotch shook his shoulder. Looking dazed, Rossi still didn't move. Finally, Carolyn whispered in his ear, and he slowly got up. His team members stood along with others as he strode up the steps to the podium. Carolyn cried outright when she saw how emotionally affected he was by the expression on his face.

The next few hours passed in a blur for Dave. He insisted on taking the team out to dinner along with Carolyn. Hotch had asked her what she had whispered in Dave's ear at the ceremony, and when she told him he turned a little red. Leave it to Dave to be motivated by a woman's promise of loving. Rossi thanked everyone, especially Hotch, Morgan and Garcia whose reports resulted in the award nomination.

"Hey, Rossi. Strauss can't fire you now, can she?" Morgan thumped him on the back.

"Well, I'm guessing not." Dave replied. "At least not this week."

Despite the lovely time they all were having, the team noticed that Rossi was tiring. They all received a Rossi hug before they left. Each of them proud of their senior member. Dave was still a little in shock so he let Carolyn drive him home as he stared out the window contemplating how much his life had changed in a few short months.

"What are you thinking about?" Carolyn asked softly, not wanting to intrude if he didn't want to talk. But, Dave smiled at her.

"A quote I learned a long time ago, but never realized I should have applied it to my own life." He responded.

"Well, don't be selfish, share it with me." She urged him.

"Men can always be blind to a thing so long as it is big enough. It is so difficult to see the world in which we live. –G.K. Chesterton"

He turned to her, "Carolyn, I really want for us to have a second chance. I realize now that I've never looked at us closely. I've always been searching for the bigger and better, but I've never seen the love and support I already have. I guess getting shot finally made me step back and think. I want to enjoy my life just as it is. And I want to do that with you. If you'll have me."

The car turned into Dave's driveway and stopped. Carolyn reached for Dave's hand and gripped it tightly.

"You have to let me in this time." She said seriously.

"I will, I promise. I won't be perfect, but I can tell you I know now that I have to." Something occurred to him. "Carolyn, what about my job? It can be long hours spent apart. Can you live with that? Because if you can't, then I can quit."

Carolyn was a little shocked at that proposal, but her smile reassured him.

"Davy, I would never ask you to do such a thing. I'm older now, and I have other things to do as well. Did you know I run a small restaurant?"

"I didn't. I'm so proud of you. Do you think you can live with an aging, rebellious FBI agent again?" He responded.

"As long as…. And only if…. He shares his feelings with me. I know you're a tough, old, Italian. But, you don't have to be with me. That, I couldn't live with."

Dave gave her a long look before he smiled. "I'm feeling kind of proud of myself right now." He said. "And….you did make me a promise…."

Carolyn laughed, and together they walked into the house.

The End

*Notes: The Director's words at the ceremony were taken from John G. Raucci on .com. I paraphrased some, but I wanted the speech to be authentic.