Ey.

So some info. This thing is gonna be a fast one. 3 chapters long. It's just a side thing.

I wrote this pretty fast. So some details might be off. feel free to point them out to me if you find any inconsistencies. If you know me, you know I'm a stickler on that kinda stuff.

If the sentence "All characters are consistent with skeletons" means anything to you then. Well then you understand. (sneak peek at chiz) If it doesn't dont worry about it.

Motorbiking Misadvantures of Kyo and Yag in Turkey. Let's begin. (no part of that sentence is even slightly a joke)

I think motorcycles are obnoxious IRL. like why do you need to be so loud for? If you have a motorcycle, explain to my why Im wrong. See im not. fite me. electric cars is where it's at fam.

Im just kidding. just say something in a review- like literally slam your hand on teh keyboard and post it to me. I Dont even care if it means anything, its nice to have SOME interaction. :/ #imlonely

A moaning wind blew across the prairie, throwing dust and tufts of grass across the plains. Above, the noonday sun shone from high in the sky, yet, in spite of its brilliance, did nothing to mitigate the windy chill from atop the great Turkish plateaus. Those long beams of light seemed to glow off a straight strip of bleached asphalt that lay across the prairie. The cracked and disused road split the landscape like a streak of paint. The long road was the only man-made thing in sight. It stretched out into the horizon. Wilderness extended out on each side for miles on end.

A pebble kicked up from beneath the front wheel and bounced off Kyo's motorcycling goggles with a sharp crack. He winced, and the vehicle briefly swerved. He quickly righted it. He felt fingernails dig into his side.

Normally he would have let himself drift a bit. Maybe even take the bike off-road. The plains looked appetizing and there wasn't a person- much less a police car - in sight. Who would even care in the mountains of Turkey? He briefly mourned the lost opportunity. He always liked that hint of danger while riding.

Kyo glanced down at the speedometer. He was pushing 100 miles per hour.

If I'd known we'd be riding motorcycles, I would've brought my Baby. Not that this Harley is bad either...

He definitely considered himself a speed junkie, he was addicted to it. His bike… his 'baby' back home could do zero to sixty in two-and-a-half seconds - and counting. Every time a new part came to market, he would buy it and have it installed on 'her'. He had no plans to stop either. He was going to keep upgrading his bike until it went fast enough to make him black out.

Yes, it was stupid. Yes, it was dangerous. Expensive too. But Kyo just couldn't get enough of it. He loved it when adrenaline filled his head whilst he skidded down a togue. Or the rush he got when he swerved in and out of speeding traffic. Or the -

"..."

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"I SAID I HATE YOU SO MUCH"

"ALRIGHT"

The voice behind Kyo's head returned to muttering curses into his jacket collar.

A few days ago, Chizuru had contacted him about a tip she received. A strange 'phenomenon' had suddenly appeared in the mountains of Turkey and it demanded their immediate attention. Of course it was Orochi.

The first time they sealed the demon was almost five years ago. The ordeal had almost killed the three of them.

The second time was easier.

The third time - they had it down to a science.

This was the fourth, and Kyo had half a mind to take over watching the seal himself, because Chizuru was obviously doing a shoddy job. Sealing Orochi was not supposed to be an annual sacred treasures get-together. They each had lives to live, and didn't particularly enjoy each other's company.

Ah. Well except for Yagami. He wasn't merely 'unappreciative' of his fellow treasure-holder's presences. 'Unappreciative' was the understatement of the year. Iori Yagami seemed to hate Kyo and Chizuru more and more each time he saw them.

This time was no different.

He had hopped off the airplane positively livid. He was even more unhappy to hear they would have to travel a hundred miles along a derelict road to reach the demon. He was literally spitting flames when he learned the roads were in such bad condition, they would need to travel via motorbike to get there.

Always causing such a scene. You really don't know how to be inconspicuous huh? What do you think is gonna happen when you scream like a maniac and set yourself on fire in an airport?

Iori's little tirade had scared the airport employees badly enough that they shut the place down. But Kyo really couldn't blame them. Iori looked and acted - for all intents and purposes - like a terrorist. At the time, Chizuru was still in the air. They wouldn't let her land, so her jet was to be re-routed to an airport on the other side of the plateau. She would arrive separately.

Which was all well and good - except for the fact Kyo was now running from Turkish authorities because Yagami wouldn't keep his temper in check. And the bastard had the audacity to say the police were overreacting. Yeah, they're the ones overreacting. What a joke.

It took a bit of time, but eventually things calmed down. Kyo and his rabid dog of a rival, upon successfully evading the authorities, disappeared into the depths of the city in order to procure a means of transport. Chizuru had already informed them the roads were too narrow for cars, and off-road vehicles wouldn't be able to climb up the steep edges of the plateau, but Iori went about looking for a jeep anyway. When Kyo questioned his sanity, Iori responded with a courteous: 'Because I don't know how to ride a fucking motorcycle, alright dipshit? and I sure as hell ain't sharing one with you.'

Unfortunately for him, every local he spoke to (every local who spoke enough English to communicate with him) told him straight out there was only one way up the plateau - and that was via motorbike.

He was furious.

Despite all this, Iori had already set his mind on sealing Orochi. Kyo knew he would find his way up the plateau one way or another. He was that sort of unreasonable guy.

So, like any good rival, Kyo exploited his stubbornness.

"Looks like you're riding with me then, huh, Yagami?"

"... Yeah."

"Too bad I won't let you. Tough luck."

"...Oh Fuck you man. Are you serious?"

"Dead serious"

"We've got to seal that Orochi bastard though. You're just gonna let him revive? Some Kusanagi YOU are!"

"I said I don't want to share a bike, not that I want to unleash Orochi. Use your brain for once fuckwit."

"Yeah? Well we need all three of us to seal the bastard, so how the hell am I supposed to get up there?"

"That's kinda your problem, isn't it. Eh, Yagami?"

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Says the guy who literally shut down an international airport because he can't control his temper!"

"Kusanagi I'm going to stir-fry your guts, so help me."

"Bitch I'd like to see you fucking try!"

(Etc… )

"Kusanagi I hope you fall into a ditch and break your neck… now tell me how much I need to bribe you to bring me up that fucking mountain."

Fifteen-thousand US Dollars later, Kyo was handed the keys to a brand new Harley-Davidson Motorcycle. He was disappointed when Iori hardly batted an eye at the check, but the bike more than made up for it.

It took two hours to get out of the city and climb the winding mountain roads, but soon enough they were flying across plateau's wide expanse. Kyo was enjoying the wind, Iori was not.

He was feeling light headed, perhaps it was the altitude - he didn't know. He was never very good with heights, and he didn't trust people in general. But neither of those individual things had ever caused him any sort of problem. Perhaps it was the combination of the two, in the form of 'trusting somebody to bring him up a dangerously steep mountain pass' was the magic concoction that cast a greenish tint over his face.

Climbing a mountain pass at sixty miles per hour, on the backseat of a motorcycle no less! How many people have died on motorcycles! How many people have died on mountain passes? Ugh.

Just concentrate on keeping your lunch down alright Yagami?…

His skull was slowly being filled with liquid nausea, he could hear it dripping maddeningly. He pressed his forehead firmly against the back of Kyo's neck, wrapped his arms around his stomach, and made it very clear to him that if he did anything other than drive in a straight line he was going home without his liver.

The bastard had just laughed.

My poor baby has got motion sickness. #1liek1prey #Kyo2muchBully #ComeHereYagLetMeSqueezeU

So some fun facts.

* Iori speaks english and japanese, he can curse in spanish too. Kyo doesnt. (Not canon btw. but its hard to find whats canon or not for snk stuff anways)

* Turkey probably wont take US dollars for the harley (maybe in tourist towns, but i dont really know where this is)

* There's no way there's an INTERNATIONAL airport in a small town in the mountains.

* Kyo + Iori both 24/25-ish. Chizuru is like mid thirties

* Iori's kinda rich from being a musician. Chiz is even richer. I don't even know what Kyo does. Like all he does is fight nests nowadays right? I have no idea.

* TMW you overuse your death threats and nobody takes them seriously anymore.