Easier to Run, an animorphs fanfic

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of K.A. Applegate's stories or characters, though I do love them and am inspired by some of them.

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This is a song fic from Tobias's point of view. Its about him blaming himself over Rachel's death and wanting to get away. The Song is "Easier to Run" off Linkin Park's new CD, "Meteora". Song lyrics are in italics.

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It's easier to run

Replacing this pain is something more

Its so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

How can I forgive myself? How can I forget? The battle…The polar bear. It will remain with me forever. Oh how I wish I could forget.

Something has been taken from deep inside of me

This secret I've kept locked away where one could never see

Wounds are deep they never show, they never go away

I'm moving pictures in my head for years and years they play

You're gone, aren't you, Rachel? Are you seeing me now? Are you crying for me like I'm crying for you? My warrior princess, My beautiful blonde shopper. I never understood how you could love me. We were Romeo and Juliet. You were the popular, beautiful girl at school and I was a bird. We were perfect. We were doomed.

There is nothing about you I will forget and at the same time there is nothing I want to remember. I am lost without you, Rachel. I am lost.

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could stand up and take the blame I would

If I could take all the shame to the grave I would

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could stand up and take the blame I would

I would take all my shame to the grave

I wish I had been there to stop it. Jake sent you to your doom. I know he didn't mean it, but because of him I lost you. Because of him I didn't get to try and save you, or even say goodbye. Why? Why did you leave me?

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain is something more

Its so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

I don't want to remember. I don't want to forget. Without you I am lost. You made me live. You were what I lived for. Your kindness, Your Courageousness. You lifted me up and taught me to see, as surely as I taught you to fly.

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past

Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have

Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back

And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

Without you I am lost. I want to run away. I want to live in the past, after my old human life and before this new life with you. I want to live in the battles and I hope sometimes that I will die. Then we could be together.

You deserve to be here, not me. I had nothing to gain by staying human. But you died, leaving behind your friends and family and me, all for the sake of the world.

I want you to be here. I am not you. I don't see things the way you do. You would love it here. You would be honored and you would honor. There are Andalites, Rachel, Here on Earth. We are at peace. How I wish you could have seen this.

Just washing it aside

All of the helplessness inside

Pretending I don't feel this place

It's so much simpler to change

There is nothing left for me. They can't change me back, Rachel. I am a nothlit. I will always be. But you… You could have had your life, with your sisters and father and mother. But now you are gone, and so am I.

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain is something more

Its so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

I don't want to forget, Rachel.

It's easier to run

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made

I don't want to remember, Rachel.

It's easier to go

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could stand up and take the blame I would

I would take all the shame to the grave

I just want you back. I want to take everything that was ever wrong back. I want it to be just you and me.

You were an amazing person Rachel. You should have lived to go amazing places and do amazing things. I'm here in your stead. You gave your life for the world. For us to live. You gave your life for me. You would have wanted me to live it. This is why I still fly.