When the rays of light gently coaxed his eyelids open, the four words he'd said four nights ago was one of two things that kept Squall from instinctively reaching for the nearest heavy object to defend himself with at the sight in front of him.
The other was that he'd be hard-pressed to find anything in his now-too-immaculate hotel room that wasn't unwieldy furniture or bolted down entirely.
From his vantage point on the mattress, the only things she'd seemingly spared were his small black toiletries bag and key card packet on the countertop past the open bathroom door on the wall opposing both their queen-sized beds and parallel to the nightstand between them. A quick scour of the room after hopping off his mattress on the bed furthest away from the window confirmed his initial assessment; not even his boots or clothes were anywhere to be found. Even the messy heap of sheets she'd called a bed for the past few days was neatly-made.
What were the odds the key card isn't in the sleeve just to mess with me even more, he thought as he wandered towards the bathroom to the beat of the dull pounding in his head.
As he crossed the threshold where hardwood laminate met cold tile, Squall stopped dead in his tracks for the briefest of moments as his gaze zeroed on the glass brushing against the wall behind the bag instead of the key packet to the left of it. The paper coaster wasn't there – it was another orange keycard sleeve.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he walked over and lifted the cup. Thumbing the packet, he could feel the card slotted in there at the lightest pinch. Opening it up revealed it wasn't her key to the room but rather one to a different room based on the inner sleeve's scribble – even he had to concede that the worst penmanship known to man couldn't mangle a 404 out of a 356 and that this was really happening.
Selphie Tilmitt was conducting some kind of mandatory treasure hunt on his weekly day off and he had no one but himself to blame for it.
—
Even with the appropriate keycard in his pocket, Squall still opted to knock instead.
While he didn't cut as much of a threatening figure while sporting bed hair, bare feet, black pyjama pants and a white t-shirt, he could not make assumptions on the machinations of Selphie's mind. Not when there were far too many instances where she thought explosives were the answer.
Thankfully, explosives didn't answer the door as he was greeted by a familiar face a few seconds later.
"Dude, long time no see." Zell said as he ushered him in the room. Once the door was closed, he casually added, "Got any ideas why in the fresh hell Selphie brought us all here just to steal our stuff?"
Peering into the heart of the room, it seemed as though it had gotten the exact same treatment – no suitcases, no clothes, no phones and no money. Zell himself was wearing a black tank top and blue pyjama bottoms.
Venturing forward, he saw nothing but the standard trappings of a hotel room. "'All' as in…?"
The layout was the complete opposite of his; the bathroom was on the immediate left of the entrance door and the closet was on the right and not the furthest left hand corner for both. The small passage opened up to a wide rectangular room with the beds on the left and the tv and desk combo on the right. That configuration was flipped in his room.
"Quistis and Rinoa." Zell answered. "There was an extra key card with a slip of paper sticking out that said, 'the key to the case' so they went to investigate together while I stayed behind in case someone came by. Your room doesn't happen to be 716, is it?"
Squall sat himself at the foot of the nearest bed, unsure of what else to do.
"No. It's 356." he answered. "I don't have an answer for the motive. She's been in Trabia on a mission to gather various supplies for the majority of the time I've been here. Haven't done anything to upset her or provoke retaliation that I'm aware of."
The blond waved him off before taking up the nearby desk chair. "Meh, knowing her it has nothing to do with you. Probably wanted to flex some planning skills with a twisted game since Xu turned the Festival Committee budget into a joke." he theorized. "I figured something was up when she got all cagey when I asked why there were so many A-Rank SeeDs on board when there was no way in hell Garden would authorize that. Here I was wishfully thinking our dear headmaster loosened her Iron Giant-like grip on the Gil. Guess not."
Squall shrugged lackadaisically and scanned the room a little more, not interested in that particular conversation.
The slight squeak of the wheels scraping against the laminate flooring ended that charade a little quicker than he would have liked as Zell wheeled himself sideways to fully occupy his field of vision.
"—Your room get the same klepto treatment?"
"Yeah."
He got up off the bed and walked past Zell to head back towards the room's entrance before making a sharp right to the bathroom to inspect the countertop for further clues with not much else to pass the time. Three bags were on the countertop – two were standard issue black SeeD zippered bags like his own and the other was unmistakably Rinoa's even though he'd never seen it before, process of elimination notwithstanding. As much as she claimed a love of everything light blue, her unspoken predilection for pink often cropped up more than she'd ever care to admit. Her protests on the matter never failed to amuse and bemuse him.
"The girls already combed the countertop super thoroughly, just so you know."
It was unsettling how quietly Zell could approach people when he wanted to, Squall thought with a slight jolt.
In spite of himself, dropped the pretense by acknowledging his presence with a glance his way.
"…Was the key card they found for room 716 under the glass cup?"
Zell shook his head. "No, it was tied to a helium 'Happy Birthday' balloon in the middle of the room that we popped. It took us way longer than it should have to realize it was a clue."
"Maybe she enacted this as revenge on us all because we didn't throw her an elaborate birthday party." Squall dryly added.
"Could be, who knows." the blond shrugged, the sarcasm sailing over his head. "Whatever the reason, she's definitely has something elaborate set up. Irvine was on the Ragnarok too and he's been MIA since we parted ways last night. I'd bet Gil to Gysahl Greens he's her little assistant."
"…Should I ask how she convinced you all to come to Esthar?"
"Oh that. It wasn't anything ridiculous for the most part. Rinoa was totally down to hitch a ride, Quistis was gonna to assist Selphie with her thing, I was going to relieve you because you had some kind of higher priority thing back at Garden. Selphie didn't give me too many specifics, just that it was an easy-peasy security job and you'd brief me on the rest when we touched down. And Irvine well…he's the one I couldn't figure out since neither job sounded like it needed a marksman and I'm not sure he's capable of flying the Ragnarok solo for this kind of long-distance trip." he explained. "You…didn't actually have a higher priority thing, did you?"
Squall shook his head. "No one could have filled in for me here even if I had one. The stipulation of this contract was that I had to be the one present."
Zell's face scrunched up a bit as he kept his lips pursed, frozen in this expression for a good ten seconds; Squall was unsurprised at this, keenly aware of how absurd his last statement was.
"…The client must be paying a buttload of Gil if Xu agreed to that." Zell finally commented.
Squall was thankful for the mechanic droning noise of the room's card key reader coming to life and grabbing their collective attention.
Anticipating the door's arc, Zell stepped aside into the bathroom proper. They both soon realized it was for naught as it only opened up a smidge, just enough for Quistis's head to pop out from behind it.
"Everything cool?" Zell pre-emptively asked.
"Not sure yet." While the words weren't minced, there was some reassurance in the absence of Quistis's too-calm tone that she often used while breaking terrible news during missions which often inspired the opposite effect. "Could you help carry some suitcases inside while Rinoa holds the door open?"
As if on cue, the door moved a little wider as the sorceress poked her head into view with a sheepish grin. "Our arms are noodles so aaaaaany help would be great."
When her eyes eventually locked with his, Squall keenly felt a psychic punch to the stomach as he nodded like an idiot with nothing between the ears.
While the old adage that absence made the heart grow fonder was definitely rang true these past few weeks, having Selphie's antics put them in the same place with a time crunch preventing them to spare a few seconds for themselves made it grow fondest.
Forced to accept this was his current reality, he wasted no time and walked towards the door, Zell following suit. As they approached, Quistis ducked out to the hallway and Rinoa took up her position before ultimately turning around to slowly press her back into the door to make it swing into the room as far as it would go. When he looped around her to walk out past the room's threshold, she gave him a near-imperceptible smile which he returned in kind, mercifully fleeting enough for no one else to pick up on.
It was another small mercy that she had the foresight to wear a pair of red plaid short-shorts and a fitted black and white tank for sleepwear instead of something pilfered from his dressers or else he would have never heard the end of it.
One step into the hallway had pushed out all thoughts of self-consciousness however, when four near-identical sparkling cherry-red cases in front of him demanded most of his, and presumably everyone's, attention. While each were of uniform height and width, coming up to the tops of Quistis's knees and about three-quarters as wide, what set them apart were the different lock colours and unique black decals — red lock with a square, white lock with a number four, green lock with a cloud-shrub and black lock with a clover. While today had been surreal enough already, now it veered straight into game show territory.
Without a word, Squall grabbed the nearest two cases and Zell took the other two a moment later without much resistance from Quistis. While he couldn't speak for Zell's cases, Squall remarked that there was no large disparity in weight with his. And while not dense as lead, he could understand why Rinoa and Quistis had tired out their arms – the small, inflexible handle combined with the width forcing his arms far enough from his core made for a less-than-ideal hold. It especially didn't help matters when it was too wide to carry without gripping the handle and the edges too sharp to get away with that even if it would have been.
Nevertheless it was less than five steps before he had to sideways step into the room, Rinoa stole another look as he passed the threshold once more, and a little more than five before he dumped the cases on the nearby bed and claimed the office chair Zell was on earlier. Just as he registered the click of the door closing, Zell had done the same with his lot and sat himself on the desk surface and Rinoa had unceremoniously plunked herself on the other bed that was not infested with cases.
Quistis slowly walked into view, stopping smack dab in between both beds, right hand plunged into her lavender pj pants' right pocket for a moment before extracting four sets of keys and what looked like a miniature USB stick. From what he could see, each key had a small circular tag in varying colours; it didn't take a genius to figure out the colours probably corresponded to the suitcase locks.
After opening the cap of the stick and pointing it at the nearby turned off television, Zell and Rinoa nearly jumped ten feet when Selphie's ear-to-ear grin greeted them on the screen.
"Heeeey! Bet you're all wondering why you're all here and I'm on this screen like this? Well, I can't answer the first question but the second one is totally thanks to Esthar's next gen toys. Neat, huh?"
There was a lull of absolute silence for a good five seconds before on-screen Selphie's pause for dramatic effect ended.
"Ok, ok, you probably don't care but I bet you really care about your stuff so let's cut to the chase, ok? If you didn't pick up the four cases and keys, pause this video and go back to my birthday room and get that a-s-a-p before hitting play again."
On-screen Selphie started to raise her hands with open palms with stiff, jarring movements before freezing up completely for another five second silent lull before snapping back into action with the grace of a news anchor on a two second delay who missed the cue.
"-Got your cases and keys now? Booyaka! Now the fun begins." she announced, pumping her fist in the air. "Each of the keys corresponds to a case with the same colour lock for the Square, Luck, Seasons and Four cases. Thanks to my nifty Estharian gizmos, I'll know who picked what so make that choice super carefully because you can't take it back after. I hiiiighly recommend taking turns opening cases where no one else is in view of the side that opens so it doesn't register more than one face. Otherwise, I'll get to go full Hyne-mode on you all and everyone'll absolutely regret that with a capital R. Anyway, that's it for now. Be sure to open up all your cases for more of Tilmitt's Tidbits!"
Quistis lowered her hand and took a step back so she was no longer in the center of the makeshift circle they'd made, opting to sit squarely in the middle of the inner edge of Rinoa's bed. When Squall turned his chair to face the both of them, Zell hopped off the desk and sat himself on the foot of that bed as Rinoa scooted closer to the edge to claim the inner corner. A third lull failed to materialize as Quistis let out a long sigh.
"Since it seems as though we don't have a choice or the time, let's not waste our breath asking questions we won't get the answers to." she lamented, as she held out her hands with the keys on full display. "I'd wager that what she called the cases by are a clue for their contents. Does anyone have a preference for the case they want?"
"I don't really, but I think a game of luck should determine who gets the Luck case." Rinoa piped up. The suggestion was promptly met with the black-tag key gingerly dropped into her lap.
"It seems like luck happens to be on your side today." Quistis deadpanned before craning her neck a tad to lock eyes with the still-keyless. "Any preference?"
"Not really." Squall absentmindedly said with a shrug, turning his head towards Zell. "You?"
"Yeah… haven't decided yet. Still thinkin' 'bout that." Zell truthfully answered, rubbing his non-existent beard with his thumb and forefinger in deep contemplation. "Not sure if the Seasons case will have more winter stuff because it's Selphie and Trabia or if the green is a clue for summer. Square seems like it'd be something neutral-ish but then there's square dancing and I don't want to have to wear a…wait a minute, what makes you think the name is a clue for what it'll have?"
"Just a hunch since everything else has been a clue-based treasure hunt so far and there would be no reason to drop the names if there wasn't." Quistis elaborated. "Not to mention this is Selphie of all people, so there is definitely a theme to each case. The Garden Festival Committee lives and dies by themes."
"Yeah, you have a point there." the blond conceded before going back to stroking his jawline. "In that case, I think you should have Four and Squall should have Square."
"Because…?"
Squall couldn't help but be amused at Quistis and Rinoa saying the word in unison for wildly-different reasons, judging by the former's casual tone and the notes of irritation found it the latter's. Zell's grin suggested that he too was amused at his newfound collective audience.
"Becaaaause Quistis is a four-eyes and square has the first four letters of Squall's name."
"…Kind of surprised you didn't think Seasons for me if you were going for the obvious." Squall deadpanned.
"Honestly, didn't know your name was seasons-related. I thought it just meant when babies wail." Zell said in an earnest tone that suggested he wasn't cracking jokes at his expense. Not that it particularly mattered when Rinoa and Quistis shot knowing looks at each other. "Either way, your folks must have been weird."
Taking a page from Quistis's book, Squall chose to drop this conversation and grabbed the cases one by one to distribute them, giving Quistis Four, Rinoa Luck and making the unilateral decision to claim Seasons instead of Square for himself. Zell's mouth opened slightly when he looked down at his case's decal, but reluctantly pursed his lips once Quistis gave the corresponding keys to those who didn't have them yet.
"Does one person in the bathroom, one on the floor between the window and this bed, one on the floor space down here and the last person facing the door sound ok?" Rinoa suggested, "I know it sounds silly but I really don't want to risk Hyne-mode Selphie."
"No, I agree." Quistis said with a nod. "We'll open them all at the same time and reconvene. I'll take the floor space by the window."
With her case and key in hand, she quickly rounded the foot of the bed and sat down, now largely out of view other than the very top of her head. Shortly after, Rinoa headed towards the bathroom and Squall sat himself by the door, leaving Zell in the center of the room in between the beds. The light rustling of keys permeated the relative silence, followed by the clicking of tumblers and unlocked case buckles.
Squall had only opened up his case a crack before a voice in the distance stopped him in his tracks.
"...What in the actual fuck, Selphie."
That had been Quistis.
This did not bode well.