When Nelledir said he will join the army, his own mother told him to not show himself before her eyes ever again.

She turned her eyes away and kept sipping wine, sitting in encrusted wooden armchair with soft pillows made of costly silk. Nelledir approached her as first – he thought it would be easier, that she would understand. She was his mother, after all, but ethereal Cedweril, the wife of Laegon of Cuivienen was of single, hard thought and Nelledir was rejected or rather he got what he asked for, as he was later told. His father didn't even want to see him. His oldest brother as well. Only his older sister showed him kindness they were tought all their lives and bid to follow.

Nelledir left his home with a single bag of his belongings and his sister's horse. When he looked one last time back at the Palace that was his home, his heart filled with great sadness. It came wave after wave as he glanced through the whole house and its beautiful walls. Regrets overflow his mind and body and soon had no place to fill. But it was not because of what he was doing, but how he was treated by his own family - his parents, his brother who he loved and he will always love against everything. All Nelledir ever wanted was to make them proud, to make them happy while doing what he dreamed about and what he was made to do. But it seemed the Great House Laegon had different plans for his future - plans they made without even asking him. Maybe he was supposed to be even a Priest, he didn't know. Now it didn't matter - by now his father probably wiped him out from the family tree and Nelledir could no longer call himself the son of Laegon. Nelledir only had his own name now and he belonged nowhere. He was threw on the streets like a stray dog, barely an adult and truly nothing more but still a child.

With heavy heart Nelledir turned from the sight of the Palace and left the manor. When he was well beyond the gate only then he allowed himself to shed tears. He tried to wipe them out hastily, but one after another they forced themselves from his eyes and his sight was so blurry he couldn't see a way in front of him. He couldn't keep up with wiping out the tears and they wet his cheeks dropping down and wetting his clothes. Nelledir was aware that his parents would be angry, even disappointed with his choice. He knew he was supposed to be someone else than a soldier and they tought him and prepared for his future profession all his childhood and teen age years. But they were also saying he should always follow his heart and he did just that.

So, all of this was just a puffery? That Nelledir should follow his heart but inside the frames set by someone else? It was not about him, but about them - Nelledir kept repeating himself trying to dim out the grief and painful rejection. He wished he could talk to them, to explain, but he won't get such a chance ever again. I did nothing wrong!, he said and promised himself to not ever look back. Instead he decided to make his family proud even if they didn't want this anymore.

His horse walked slowly near him as Nelledir's pace was not fast at all, his vision was blurry and he couldn't see clearly where he walked. His once home was placed on the verge of the Caves near the waterfall - the manor was broad and surrounded with gardens big enough to ride a horse there with ease. The Palace was embellished with gold from the outside and before it, on the courtyard, stood a shrine to the Valar. From the manor the way to the centre of Menegroth was quite far and one that Nelledir didn't know well for he had not travelled there all too often. His father always told him that he was still too young. But apparently, he was old enough to be left on his own on the streets.

Nelledir reached the end of the wide road that lead to the manor of House Laegon and he stopped, looking around at the uptown of Menegroth with great bazaars and markets. The place seemed merry like, quite loud but not too much, the Royal Guards were either walking down the streets or stood guard at the smaller gates leading to the different parts of the city, carriages were pulled by horses and transported goods or other products, nearby there was an auction of few horses, but Nelledir felt painfully lost among all of this. He realized he didn't even have coins to buy himself food, he only had few things to eat in his bag.

He learned before that the training of recruits started at the beginning of Autumn and if he wanted to be included he needed to declare himself as fast as it was possible. This thing he knew, but where he should head off to in this huge city?

Nelledir first turned right, but then he changed his mind and moved towards the bazaar to walk through it. Everytime he left his home, which was not too often, there was always someone to carry out or perform his wishes. It could have been anything - handful of nuts from the market, a cold drink, a new horse, meterials for new clothes, a weapon or shining jewels. All he needed to do was to name it and sooner or later he had it. But Nelledir always prefered to do and get things on his own, about which he was always remprimended. Elves around you are for your convenience, their families are tied with ours since centuries - they chose to follow us and you should respect their will to assist us - that's what his parents always told him. Nelledir didn't like to absorb someone with a thing he could do himself, but sometimes he had no choice and he just had to accept it.

House Laegon treated their Helpers more than well and they were never called servants. His parents always told him that every elf deserved to be treated with respect and everyone had his own place in this world he should keep and hold tightly to it. Nelledir was born in a great House - he was always told this and he should not get himself too familiar with elves of lower station. The order of the word must be kept, such was their way, and House Laegon was one of four Great Houses of Menegroth - along with House Silevon they gave way only to the Royal Family of Doriath.

Since birth Nelledir was tought to treat everyone according to their station, but at the same time speaking to them with respect - rather asking than ordering, and Nelledir always did it this way. Helpers of his House had everything they needed and even more - they lived in the Palace as well and they were not on duty for all the Changes being given all the needful free time. As much as it was convenient to have Helpers, it was inconvenient as well - Nelledir couldn't even clothe himself as he wanted since there was always a solemn ceremony that needed a specific attire for the glory of the Valar.

The whole Palace where he lived was almost turned into a single shrine - dripping with riches and excellence. There was a reason after all, why it was referred in Doriath as the Golden Glory. Not very original name, but it certainly described the place as it was in reality. All over the manor there were enourmous statues made of granite or porcelain, either embellished fully in silver or gold and expensive shawles were neatly placed around them. Colorful flowers were always at their feet, candles of different shapes as well and everyone looked after that the candles were burning all the time.

Nelledir was aware that praising the Powers was not a common thing in Doriath, but House Laegon and those Houses who followed them as Helpers granted in the Valar a great belief. At the manor, there was the only place in whole Doriath were elves could be educated in the wise teaching of the Valar and even some of them became priests - most often those of his family. But there were only few of them and they never imposed themselves - only during public teachings they proclaimed the words of the Valar and they lead numerous ceremonies that praised the Powers. Also, they could be asked to perform the ceremony of bonding, when two elves decided to marry.

Nelledir was tought about the Valar since birth and belief in their might was burned in his mind like a symbol. And Nelledir followed his family's lead - he knew all the prayers to the Powers and he knew precisely what to ask them for and how to praise their wisdom. Very often he spoke words he didn't understand, especially when he was an elfling, and he was even tought to read on the tomes dedicated to the birth of Arda and he learned to write by transcribing psalms to the glory of Manwë and Yavanna.

Since he was little he was surrounded by Helpers and teachers who did their best to make him a great member of House Laegon. And his parents spend their time with him wherever they could and always made sure to kiss him when he layed in his bedding to rest. Nelledir felt loved by them an by all his family - his older sister always used to braid his hair which he didn't like all too much, while his older brother tought him how to ride a horse and once he even took him to Menegroth where Nelledir for the first time in his life saw elves cladded in armor. Nelledir stared at their polished plates catching flames from lit torches, swords at their waists made a staggering effect even when sheeted and he turned to look at his older brother.

'Arod, who are those elves?' he asked and his brother smiled at him still holding his hand.

'They serve to protect us, little brother.' Arod answered. 'They are soldiers of the Cougar Banner.'

Nelledir never forgot his words. Those soldiers were true warriors, brave and loyal, able to help anyone. Their lives were dedicated to others and Nelledir thought that it would be wonderful to be this strong. Their duty seemed to be glorious and truly praised the Valar. He wished to be this strong to protect others, to protect his family - the enemy would know that he was given the power of the Valar and Nelledir would pray so they would bless him more of their grace. What greater honour there can be than protecting the people of the Powers? His family should be proud.

Nelledir grimaced at his own childhood reasoning. It was made clear to him that the station of a soldier was so below his family status that it could not be worse. The order of the word need to be kept, this was most important. There was no option for him to not follow his family's footsteps. As close as Nelledir could get to achieve his dreams was convinvcing his father about how to handle weapons. He said that the art of handling a sword was noble nonetheless and that he should know what this was about. His father, Laegon, nodded to this with content, agreeing to his request. After all, his son should be able to hunt well and present himself extraordinarly. And Nelledir was tought how to fight with with a sword and shoot a bow and Nelledir busted into each training more than was required.

Nelledir passed by the bazaar looking around at booths with fresh fruits and nuts or animal hides. He straightened the bag laying on his arm and pressed forward leading his horse carefully to not dock anyone. The street was quite wide and there were not many elves around, but he still needed to be careful to not push somebody. The consolation was that his horse was very well-tempered and he trusted the mare to behave well.

He hoped to pass by the market to get deeper into the city. Instead, he walked forth into the uptown of Menegroth. The place was much quieter, well-maintained and clean, however, nothing to be compared with the Palace of House Laegon.

'Nice horse.'

The voice came from the upper ground and Nelledir looked briefly who it was. The young elf sat on the awning and smirked looking down at him. He was well dressed and looked-after. The King and Queen took well care of their people and provided anything they needed which meant there was no poverty in Menegroth. But many elves that left the safe walls of the city disappeared without a sign and their families were left with nothing more but memories. And sadly, more than often happened that elflings were left on their own since their parents never returned from the forests. For those elflings there were made special Houses that provided neccasary care and education, but there was so many of those kids and older elflings that their keepers couldn't give each of them all the attention they wanted and required.

Nelledir turned to look back on his way. The elf seemed to be one of those who grew up within such House. He may not be bad-mannered, but nonetheless he was looking for a quarell. Nelledir chose a wrong way for himself, but he could not turn back. He only hoped he will be left alone and he won't have to bicker with anyone. He didn't like to argue and he was always tought that there were many different ways to solve a conflict, but Nelledir won't let someone to push him around or even rob, but such a thing was hard to believe. With this thought he started to walk a bit faster. Surely, this road will lead him somewhere.

He landed in more complicated labirynth of houses in Menegroth and he had no idea where to go. He turned into smaller road hoping it will lead him deeper into the city.

With content, Nelledir stated that he finally seemed to get on the right path. He only hoped he won't accidently walk into the area were horses were not allowed to be brought. He wished no troubles, but truth be told he didn't know the city well or rather didn't know it at all.

And of course, Nelledir went into the area where he shouldn't have.

He was looking around at the houses, hoping to notice any sign concerning where he should head off to. Mela, his horse, was pacing slowly or rather slacking around with ears on sides, eyes half closed and she semed to be drowsing off. He didn't even notice two guards walking in different direction than him.

'Halt there!'

Nelledir turned his eyes back on the road hearing this call almost in front of himself. He knew it was directed at him and when he looked straight ahead he saw two elves who now stopped just before him and blocked his way, so if he wanted or not, he needed to stop.

'Horses are not to be lead through this area.' one of the guards said taking a look on a mare and then back on Nelledir.

Nelledir assumed it would be for the better to speak things how they were. Maybe the elves would lead him where he needed to go.

'Forgive me, sir. I don't know the city as much as I would like.'

'Your name?' the other asked and Nelledir was taken aback as he was painfully remainded of what happened.

'Nelledir.' he said and when the elf looked at him prompting him to continue, he added what was necessary. 'That's all, sir.'

The guards glanced briefly at each other, but they didn't comment in anyhow. Nelledir swallowed feeling treacherous bump forming in his throat and he needed to get rid of this as fast as he could.

'What's your business in the city?'

'I seek the entrance to the military area.' Nelledir said, happy that his voice was calm and steady and that the elves didn't prompt him to say anything more about the previous matter. 'I need to declare at the recruitment station that is placed there.'

'Another recruit, then.' the guard said, nodding slowly and he didn't seem to be surprised at all. 'There are many of you lately in the city. And all of you get lost. We will escort you to the entrance, easier than letting you get lost again.'

Nelledir brightened up at this proposal. He wanted to ask for it on his own, but the guards were kind enough to help him. He thanked them with all honesty, saying how he appreciated the gesture. And then he was lead back down the road he walked just moments ago, but they didn't turn in the road where he met the strange elf. He was taken through the labirynth of the roads and Nelledir was almost sure he would not be able to came back to the point from where they started. As they walked, he stared at the houses decorted with plants, greater part of them had small parcels with gardens of trees and flowers. Truth be told, the Houses in Menegroth were composed into the cenery that was there before the city was built. Every tree that grew before the Grey Elves came – it was left how it was, as the grass and bushes providing shelter for animals.

'There.' one of the guards said pinting at the simple gate. 'This corridor will lead you on the floor below and the military fields are placed there. Recruitment station should be on the beginning.'

'Thank you for your assistance.' Nelledir said and smiled to the elves, feeling rising joy that things started to fall into place.

'Take care of yourself, kid.'

With those words Nelledir was left alone, but this time, knowing where he should head off to, he lead his horse into the lighted corridor.

Finding the station was not a hard thing – the small building, or rather a simple hood, was recognisable and Nelledir approached it immediately. There were few elves there, not wearing their full armor, but uniforms of the army and just by that Nelledir knew they were soldiers. One of them stood up seeing him approach.

'Welcome, newcomer!' he greeted when Nelledir was close enough. 'Are you here to enrol into the army?'

'That's right, sir!' Nelledir said. 'I would like to fill my appointment and declare as a future soldier.'

'Come closer, then. We need to write down few simple things.'

Nelledir bid his horse to stay behind, which mare did with no problems, and he went closer to small building where another elf prepared a single scroll to fill in by him. With no hesistancy Nelledir grabbed the feather and ink he was given and started to write. Name, estimated age, probably to prove that he was an adult, where he was from, if he posessed any weapons and if he did than he was asked to specify, he was asked if he knew how to ride a horse. Nelledir wrote all that with no hesistancy and the last information to fill concerned his family – names of his parents and what House he belonged to, probably to know who should be informed in case anything happenened. Nelledir had nothing to write in there so he left the blank space and handed over the scroll to the soldier who glanced through it, then looked up at him.

'It may not be comfortable for you, but the army needs to know what of your family. Are you an orphan or there is some distant family that you have?'

'No, I-' Nelledir stuttered a bit. 'They just do not agree I should be a soldier. And I respect their wish to not involve them in my choice.'

'Despite this, the army needs to know, such is the law.' the elf said. 'They won't be contacted anyhow by us.'

He was handed back the scroll and Nelledir hesitated, but he could not lie. This he couldn't do – sincerity was a virtue and anyone who was not honest could not be trusted. He filled the blank spaces quickly; Nelledir son of Laegon and Cedweril of House Laegon.

For a moment he glanced at the scroll and then he gave it back, this time filled fully. The elf glanced through it again and once he did he looked at Nelledir and by the look on the soldier's face Nelledir knew immediately that now the elf knew why he left the spaces blank in the first place. But the soldier said nothing.

'Come with me. I will show you where to leave your horse.'

Nelledir called for his mare and followed the elf deeper into the fields. He cought a sight of a quite big wooden building and next to it there were two banners hanging on tall pylons – a Wolf and a Cougar. Nelledir wondered under which one he will serve. He didn't know much about it, so he guessed it didn't matter to him that much.

He left his horse at the stable where the soldier bid him to. The stall didn't matter so Nelledir chose the closest and after taking care of the mare he came back and the elf lead him forth through the fields, speaking about the duties that awaited him and when exactly the basic training for recruits starts. But then he said that all the recruits would get more specific information shortly since the training starts soon.

'You will live in the barack with other soldiers.' the elf said and Nelledir focused on what he was saying instead staring everywhere around. 'There are quite many recruits, but I am sure there is a free place for you.'

They walked into one barack, or rather quite comfy looking wooden cottage. Their arrival didn't rise many interest among other elves being there – all of them were young ones, in Nelledir's age. They were speaking freely in groups sitting on simple chairs and sofas or just sat on the floor, but they went deeper into the building, into the area where the recruits could make themselves comfortable on the beddings. Each of them was a two-level ones, at the walls there were shelves for their belongings and shared wardrobes. For a blink of an eye Nelledir couldn't believe he will have to sleep in here – this seemed terrible and unacceptable, but this thought disappeared as quickly as it flourished. This was his reality now, and the only thing he could do was to accept it. Not that he had somewhere to come back to.

'Choose any place you want and take care of youself. I am sure a lieutenant will arrive shortly and give you all necessary information.' the soldier said and Nelledir nodded at him, holding bag on his arm tighter.

'Thank you. I appreciate you helped me and showed me around.' Nelledir said, though he knew it was probably the soldier's job, but he was grateful nonetheless.

With those words Nelledir was left alone and he slowly went pass the bedding looking for any vacant one. He immediately noticed that it was much more quieter here, sounds from the first room were well muted and everyone who wished could rest peacefully in the bed. The elves here were talking quietly, doing their own things, some of them were drowsing off and Nelledir walked past them, not gaining any attention.

In the corner of the room he noticed a vacant upper bedding and since it didn't matter to him if he will sleep on the higher or lower bedding, he threw his bag up and sighted, content that another goal on his path was finished and he could go towards another one.

With it, like a wave, came regret and grief. Each step he took on his new path, was a step away from his family. He never wanted it to be this way. He wanted his family to see him off and wish him all the good look. Was it too much to ask? Nelledir could not understand what he did to be treated in such horrible way and sadness overwhelmed ought else, yet again. He wished his parent were proud of him, he liked to think they were, while at the same time knowing that he no longer existed to them.

Nelledir got himself up on the bedding and pushed the bag to the side. He will unpack his equipment later, right now he wished to rest and maybe try to forget the painful feeling of rejection that haunted him and embeded into him like a needle. Horrible thing, knowledge that he was no longer wanted by his own family.

He lied on a pillow facing the wall and covered himself briefly with a blanket. The bed was suffecient, just like everything here. Truth be told, there was no need for anything else, this tiny space was enough and he quickly buried memories of his spacy apartment in the Palace, where almost all the floor was at his disposal.

Before he drowsed off he felt a known painful bump in his throat and his eyes glazed over immediately, in less than a momemt freeing few tears that soaked into a pillow. He wished he had a place to come back to.