Alright, I should really be asleep, but here's a quick angsty Shenko smut drabble. Just my two cents on what should've happened when Major Kaidan Alenko had just been released from Huerta Memorial and joined the Normandy crew. And it seems he wasn't a second too late.
I do apologize in advance; I haven't written any smut in yeeeeears. Hell, I haven't even written anything that wasn't a roleplay in the same amount of time. So I tried not to make it too graphic and it's not terribly long.
However, enjoy! ~ Disclaimer: Mass Effect, its respective characters and story belong to Bioware. I do not own anything.
"No, Councillor, this can not wait. You've seen what the Reapers have done to the Citadel a few years back, within days they could-"
"We're sorry, Commander, but we simply can not spare the troops. We're all trying to fend for ourselves here."
"And that is exactly what's your damn problem! We can't afford all of the Council races to be separated, we need everyone to put in their best efforts to strike, that's the only way we can possibly stand a chance!"
"Our decision is final. We hope to hear more from you about the Crucible, but for now, this-"
The Comm room seemed to darken momentarily as the holographic images of the Councillors faded, Shepard's palm still resting on the disconnect button on her display. Just like old times, as Joker once put it.
In all of her years as a Spectre, nothing had changed; The Council would not believe a word she said, not even after the evidence had been shoved in their faces, shouting with a booming voice "Assuming direct control." In all of her years as a Spectre, the weight of the galaxy's fate had never rested this heavily on her shoulders. The destruction of all galactic civilization had never been this real, this tangible.
In all of her years as a Spectre, Shepard had never been this close to giving up.
The Commander hung her head, stray strands of auburn hair falling from the messy bun on top of her head and the metal of the dog tags around her neck chiming together, the sound reverberating through the empty room. Perhaps knowing she couldn't give up only made it worse. So much was depending on her, so many were depending on her. Who else would rally the troops, the same way she had when Sovereign led a full fledged attack on the Citadel? Who else could put together a team so loyal they would follow her to Hell and back, on a suicide mission far worse than the one inside the Collector base?
But never in her life, had she felt this alone, ever since Horizon.
Shepard heard the soft hiss of the automated doors behind her, closely followed by slow, deliberate footsteps. Her brows furrows and her lips pulled together in a straight line; Her crew knew better than to interrupt her during a meeting with the Council. The Commander took a deep breath and her hand, resting on the platform, balled into a fist.
"Why the Hell-"
Her words were cut short by a hand on her shoulder, the sheer presence, the familiarity, sending shivers up and down her spine. She was too scared to move, too scared to breathe, too afraid that if she did, she'd realize that it wasn't him.
"Bad time, Shepard?"
His voice, deep, warm and concerned as it ever was, seemed to bounce off the walls and echo inside of her head.
It had been forever since they had been in a room together, alone. Or at least without one of them in a hospital bed.
On Mars, there had been too many unknowns, too many words unspoken. About the accusations that had been flung either way on Horizon, about the hurt and the heartache, the shock and doubt. The missing, the fear and the loneliness.
Her back still turned towards him, a breath, held for too long, flushed over her lips.
"Kaidan.." She hadn't the faintest clue what she was going to say next. What could she possibly tell him?
She felt his fingers close a little tighter over the shoulderpatch of her BDU's and he seemed to have held his breath as long as she had. Slowly, Shepard turned, her blue eyes looking up to meet his brown stare, his hand slipping off her shoulder. And just like that, she crumbled.
"I'm so fucking sorry."
She flung herself towards him, shoulders heaving as she choked back tears, her arms closing tightly around him, her face buried in his chest. Strong, proud Commander Shepard, was falling, and she didn't know if she could ever get up.
For a moment, Kaidan Alenko was caught off guard, his arms lifted almost as if in an attempt not to touch her at all. Her sobs reverberated through his entire being, and all he could do, all he wanted to do, was to hold her as close as he possibly could.
She'd missed him, needed him. She regretted all the words she'd shouted at him back on Horizon, hated herself for calling him a coward and taking no for an answer. She should've convinced him to stay, but instead, he left.
Shepard took in everything she could. His warm, musky scent made the hairs on her arms stand to attention, the sound of his breathing was drenched in familiarity, and his fingers going through her hair reminded her of the best damn time of her life. She wanted it to last forever, not wanting to face the possible outcome of him telling her too much had changed.
The sudden touch on her chin, forcing her glare upwards, broke her thoughts, and for a second, she forgot she was ever broken in the first place. She saw his lips move, but the words took a moment to register.
"I'm not leaving."
She closed the final gap between them, her eyes clenched shut and his lips captured underneath her own. He reacted instantly, pulling her closer up against him, his mouth parting and his tongue darting past to caress hers, explore known territory with a fervent need.
Her fingers tangled in his hair, her tear-streaked face wet against his own, but those were minor details, all that mattered was feeling that he was there.
Of her free hand, her nails clawed at his back, whereas his hands tugged at her uniform, his body pushing against hers, as if any inch of distance between them would drive them back apart. She stumbled back, but refused to break their hold, pushing her onto the platform behind her, the one that had been subject to her earlier frustrations. He pressed her onto it further, her legs on either side of him.
A groan collected in the back of his throat, making her shiver in his arms. In the momentary pause, Shepard pulled on the hem of Kaidans uniform, needing him so much closer than their clothes would ever allow them. Her blue eyes fluttered open momentarily as he aided her work, the top part of his uniform being tossed into a corner of the Comm room. His chest was littered with new scars and deep lines; She knew they couldn't possibly all have been from Dr. Eva's attack. It simply confirmed that she'd missed too much.
He'd closed the gap between them again, working his way on the buttons of her jeans as her arms tangled around his bare chest and their tongues danced in unison. There wasn't time for taking it slow, there had already been too much time that had been lost.
He forcefully pulled her pants down to the floor (joined by her boots with a loud clunk as they fell to the metal surface), revealing her very practical underwear. Hell, if she'd have known this, she'd figured out something else to wear. But perhaps not knowing was the magic of it all.
Kaidan wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close as his fingers softly stroked across the fabric between her legs, allowing a long withheld moan to flush over her lips; He swallowed it gratefully as he gently applied more pressure, caressing her folds as she arched her back, pressing her chest up against his. His breathing mimicked hers, ragged, uneven, the very sounds made her head spin.
She was shaking, whether it was because of her nerves, the adrenaline racing through her veins or the -Oh God, right there- but her hands were trembling as she fiddled with the lower part of his uniform, wanting, needing, it off. Impatiently, she simply jerked his pants down, feeling Kaidan smirk against her lips, before she silenced it, placing the flat palm of her hand over his boxers, confirming that he needed her as much as she needed him.
In reply, he groaned and lunged the lower half of his body into hers, dispelling either of their hands, and he could feel her warmth, feel it soak through the fabric of his own underwear as she thrust herself down the platform, her legs around his waist.
She pushed his boxers to the floor, where he simply pulled her panties aside, not wanting to part for a single moment as her teeth tugged on his lower lip. One of his hands snaked around her firm ass, grabbing a hold of her tightly and without a single warning her pulled her down on top of him. Her eyes shot open as she threw her head back and moaned his name, every single fiber in her body on fire, both of their biotics flaring and lighting up the room.
"God, Shepard.." He groaned huskily, his voice echoing in her ears as he tried to maintain his composure, slowly lifting his hips back up in order not to lose himself in an instant.
Loose strands of auburn hair clung at her forehead, the palm of her hand at the base of his skull as Kaidan pulled her closer to him, burying himself deeper into her warmth. Slowly, but steadily, he began pumping his hips at a more feverish rhythm, his fingers pressing into the flesh of her thigh, her coos and murmurs being replaced by irregular moans and high pitched cries. Every time flesh met flesh, he hit a spot inside of her that made her see stars, and biotic sparks erupt from their skin.
Like he intended to bury himself as deep inside of her as he could, for their flesh to meld and their bodies to intertwine, he thrust deeper and deeper inside of her, hard enough to leave bruises in the morning and make their armors a little more uncomfortable for wear. Her legs trembled, still hanging off his hips, her toes curled onto themselves behind his back and her breathing hitched in her throat, her nails digging into the bare skin of his back. She could feel a warmth spreading through her insides as her muscles tightened, every movement he made bringing her close to the edge. She cried his name as she came undone, pressing her face in his neck, biting the skin to try and muffle the sound.
And with a few delicious, final thrusts of his hips and a guttural groan that had been collecting in his throat for far too long, Kaidan spilled himself inside of her, burying his nose in her hair, tightening his hold on her as though he was afraid she might vanish.
They stayed like that for a good amount of time, their grasps never wavering as their breathing evened out.
Then and there, something Kaidan had mentioned years ago suddenly made so much more sense to her.
"This is what's important right now. The galaxy will just keep going. Everything, even the Reapers, will come around again. This is what will never happen again. Us."