Chapter One - New Best Friend
Mr. Ed, a stout palomino, stood in his open stall, eyes glued to the western movie playing on his own private television set. He loudly slurped his water pale from a long tube that he used as a straw, while the barn blared with the sounds of gunfire and Indians war-calls. His eyes did not move from their fixed location when the barn door opened.
Wilbur Post, Ed's owner, an architect who worked from the desk beside the horse stall, entered the stable with his hands covering his ears. "Ed! Turn that TV down!"
Mr. Ed grunted, but complied. His nose tapped the volume button on his remote control only once.
Wilbur was watching. "More, please!" He demanded, impatiently.
Again, Ed's nose tapped the control. This time, turning it down to a decent volume. "Can't a guy have a little fun around here without someone messing it all up for him? I'm bored!"
Wilbur uncovered his ears and proceeded to his desk, quickly spreading out some blueprints he'd been working on. "You wouldn't be bored if I put you to work like most normal horse owners do."
Ed grunted.
"Actually, I had a friend of mine ask me if he could rent you sometime, he's clearing a field. You could have all kinds of fun pulling wagons of dirt and rocks and stumps. I wasn't going to take the money for your labor, but since you're so bored around here, I can't stand in your way of happiness. What do you say, Ed?"
Silence.
"Ed?"
"Uh, what were we talking about, Wilbur?" Ed asked, innocently.
Wilbur chuckled. "Just what I expected, lazy ol' horse."
"Who are you callin' lazy, Pal? I work plenty hard around here!"
"Doing what?
"Like carrying you around on my back!"
"And what's so hard about that?"
"What's easy about it?" Ed laughed. "I don't see you offering to carry me around on your back!"
Wilbur chuckled and shook his head, grabbing a pencil and beginning his work.
"Wilbur," Ed whined. "Buddy Boy, why don't you take me to the park and we can visit with the fillies, huh?"
"Not today, Ed. I've got to make some changes to these plans and then I'm playing golf with Roger and some buddies." Wilbur worked busily.
"Well, then how about taking me on a late walk. I heard that red-head filly, Gingerbread, always goes out at night with her newlywed owners. How about we join them? Nothin' better that a moonlight trot with someone you love." Ed turned the TV off to devote his full concentration to convincing Wilbur to take him.
"We can't intrude on a couple of newlyweds. Besides, I'm taking Carol out to dinner this evening. She's been counting on going out for a while now, and I can't let her down." Wilbur sharpened his pencil, wearing the look he always had when he felt guilty for something. He knew what was coming next from his talking horse.
"What about your poor lonely little horsey?" Ed used his fake tears. "What about letting me down?"
"I'm sorry, Ed. Maybe next week I can take you over to Tallyho Stables and you can see all your buddies, huh?"
Ed continued crying, "Well, if golf with old Sour Puss, and a fancy dinner with that blonde mean more to you than lifelong devotion and companionship of your best friend… Then… Then…"
Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Then what, Ed?"
"Then I'll find a new best friend." Ed opened the door that led out to the yard. Just before stepping out he looked back, "Maybe then you'll find out what it's like to be lonely!"
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