Holding on and letting go
It was late at night. Dany was in her tent, lying in her bed but she couldn't sleep. She was worried about her dragons so she kept her eyes on them. Since her dragons returned to her after being stolen by Xaro Xhoan Daxos and Pyat Pree she was scared of what would have happened her dragons if she just looked away for a while. Her dragons are like her kids, her only family she couldn't bear the thought of losing them. But she wasn't just worried for her dragons; she was also worried for ser Jorah. She was afraid of losing him, the only true friend she ever had. Ever since the knight confessed his feelings for her and she didn't return his love he hasn't been himself. Before he would always run up to her and talk now he usually mostly avoid her. Daenerys didn't know if he was angry with her or if he was just hurt. He bared his heart to her and she called him a good advisor. Then when her dragons were gone and he tried to comfort her she sad that he was getting to familiar. She regretted that she did that he just wanted to show that he was there for her, but she couldn't make it undone now.
After couple days she sent Kavarro after ser Jorah. She wanted to talk to him and make it better between them. But she didn't know how.
If I look back I'm lost.
Ser Jorah stepped into the tent. He looked ill at ease, Dany wasn't feeling better.
´´ Ser Jorah I know things haven't been…. alright between us two since Qarth.´´
The knight looked at her.
´´I'm sorry if I offended you khalessi. I meant no harm.´´
´´ I know you didn't and you haven't offended me, ser. You just caught me by surprise.´´
´´ Khalessi may I speak freely? ´´
Dany nodded. Ser Jorah continued.
´´ I know that you can banish me for this but I'm asking you not to.´´
Dany started to feel little uncomfortable. She wasn't really sure if she wanted to hear this, but at the same time she was curious. She heard herself say;
´´ Continue. ``
´´Khalessi.´´
He waited, after what felt like an eternity he finally said;
´´I love you Daenerys. Not as a knight loves his queen but as a man loves a woman. And I'm not ashamed of saying that, I'm ashamed of hiding that.´´
He walked up to her and kissed her. To Jorah surprise she didn't resist him. She let him kiss her. His kiss wasn't like Drogos kisses. Ser Jorah's kiss was soft and passionate. When the kiss was over Dany looked confused, Jorah saw that and apologized.
´´I'm sorry my queen it was a mistake. It won't happen again.´´
He went out of the tent.
But Dany wasn't sorry.
The next day all Dany could think of was Jorah. She wondered how it would feel like if she and Jorah were together. She always felt safe and confident with him. He gave her strength and always encouraged her to do things she wasn't sure she could do. And he loved her. Drogo loved her too, was nice to her and he would do everything for her but he still treated her like a helpless little girl. Dany didn't know that men like ser Jorah existed. Ser Jorah treated every women like his equal, not that many did that.
Finally Dany decided to visit ser Jorah. When she stepped into his tent the knight looked shocked and kind of scared.
´´Khalessi, he said surprised
´´Ser Jorah I need to talk to you about last night.´´
When she would continue he interrupted her.
´´My queen, are you going to banish me?´´
´´Ser Jorah, I...´´
´´I know what I did was unforgivable and I assure you it won't happen again. I'll do anything you ask for just don't banish me.´´
´´I'm not going to banish you, I don't want to and I don't need to. That you kissed me last night was not only your fault, it was mine too. I didn't struggle, I allowed you to do that.´´
´´But I shouldn't have done that. I should have known better.´´
´´The heart wants what the heart wants, and it always gets it.´´
´´I shouldn't want you. You're my queen and nothing more I'm not worthy you.´´
´´Queen, king, knight it's all just titles.´´
Ser Jorah was confused.
´´What do you mean khalessi?´´
´´What I mean is that it doesn't matter what title you have what matters is who you are as a person. And you are a good person. That's why I love you.
Ser Jorah was shocked.
´´I was so confused for so long. I held on to someone who is dead instead of trying to focus on someone right in front of me.´´
She walked up to ser Jorah and kissed him.