A/N: This is my first fanfic I'm both excited and freaked to post this so please review and give me some constructive criticism.

BPOV

"Ahh! Alice how can you live with that guy, come on he's horrible! How can you breathe the same air as him all the time, I'd rather suffocate." I could not believe what he did this time, what a jerk.

"Bella he really isn't that bad. Just give Edward a chance. Why do you guys hate each other anyway?" How could Alice not comprehend what I didn't like about Edward, there really was nothing to like.

"Alice he doesn't deserve a chance you should just hear the things he says to me." Edward Cullen is a jerk and has no manners, and he's also strangely enough a name caller, I don't even know why he stoops so low, it's not like we're five, I mean we're seventeen, think of a better comeback.

"I know what he says to you, I mean when an I not around you or him, but I meant how did this all start?" Alice never asked me that question so I stopped short. Edward and I had known each other since we were four we were close friends, then when we were five Alice joined his family, her parents died and Edward's parents were her god parents. We were all joined at the hip. Then at the beginning of first grade he just started to ignore me. I attempted to find out what was wrong but he just ignored me more. After months of trying I gave up and called him a "Meany", I wasn't six yet, what do you expect a big vocabulary? He responded with "you're the bigger meany" and we've fought ever since. I tried to separate myself from anything that had to do with Edward, one being Alice, but Alice being Alice began to cry so I told her I didn't like Edward and that I thought he was a "Butt face" but she said what does that have to do with me, I realized nothing. We've been best friends ever since.

After I was done being stunned I answered her, "I'm not sure I think it started in first grade, I know that's a long time to hate each other but we've done to much stuff to each other to forgive the other."

Flashback

"Alice it's just me here, you don't need to impress me." Alice and her hyperness had gone off the edge this time. She's been in the bathroom for thirty minutes and it didn't look like she was coming out anytime soon, all this for a sleepover with just me.

Well since we were alone I took advantage of it, I went towards Edward's room with something in my hand. Outside the door I could hear him lightly snoring, I entered as quietly as possible. First I went to his dresser and went through each door spraying something in it, dousing everything. I then headed towards his closet again getting everything, lastly was his bed, I started by spraying his cover after that was the clothes on his back and all exposed skin. Thin I realized why not the air too. For once I actually wanted to stay in his room. Once I was out of Edward's room I started to giggle, "Now his room smells good." I stated before I went to wait outside of the bathroom for Alice.

For the rest of the night we just watched movies. But I couldn't wait for the morning, excited for Edward's reaction. I finally fell asleep, and then woke up to the best sound ever.

"What the Hell?! How the fuck did—?" And as the he realized what happened, "Bitch, why the hell do this—what's the point come on! Now I SMELL LIKE A GIRL!"

Edward's reaction was more than I could ever hope for. I walked out of the room and saw Edward completely red and fuming.

"Hahaha, what now Cullen? You know what, at least you smell good." I smiled slyly but was stifling back laughter.

"You know what Swan, everyone will think I did something with someone and had a lot of fun because I smell like a girl." Edward's virginity was a sore subject for him.

"First of all you're still a virgin stupid, secondly no one will ever want to do you, and lastly I'm the only one that uses that perfume, everyone knows that and also everyone knows I wouldn't do you even if someone paid me." Edward just stood there trying to think of a comeback while I walked away grinning.

Edward never fell asleep when I slept over with Alice again.

End Flashback

"I just want you guys to not have each other; it'd make my life easier. I wouldn't have to watch you guys just in case you decide to rip the other's throat out."

"Alice I wouldn't rip his throat out for two reasons, one, too much blood, you know how I am and two, I don't have a place to hide the body yet." Also Chief Swan pumping laws down your throat can turn anyone into law abiding daughter.

"Well, now I don't have to plan the funeral." God, Alice plans everything no matter what—she'll probably plan her own funeral to the last detail.

"Well I'm glad I can do that for you."

"Hey! You know what we should do to get your mind off your bad mood?" I knew the question was rhetorical but if she said shopping I swear I am no longer liable for my actions. "Go shopping!"

Oh God no not that torture. "Alice I don't like shopping you know that, and I have enough clothes."

Alice put her hand to her mouth in horror. "No girl can ever have enough clothes. You won't even have to look I'll bring Rosalie it make it easier."

Rosalie Hale was Alice's boyfriend, Jasper Hale's twin sister. Rosalie is one year older than us but sill manages to be friends with Alice. Rose and I were becoming friends, for awhile she didn't like me all that much because I hated her boyfriend, Emmett's brother, Edward—obviously who else is there worth hating, maybe Mike but we'll get to him later. Rosalie and I started getting Friendly when I told her I love Emmett like a big brother, just that I hated his brother.

"It's a lost cause to argue with you isn't it?" Alice just stood there and nodded her head furiously. I then decided there was no way of winning. "Fine, but please don't spend too much on me." The Cullens and Hales were both excruciatingly rich and on our "little" (they were actually huge) mall trips Alice always went overboard.

"Well let's get a move on then." Alice pulled me from her room, went and got Rose and was walking to her Porsche—see rich—all under five minutes. "Carlisle, Esme we're going to the mall!" Alice yelled.

Carlisle and Esme were the Cullen kids' very youthful looking parents. And as they stopped in the hall to wish us well I was struck by their beauty just like all the Cullens and Hales. It sucks being the ugly duckling surrounded by gorgeous swans.

"Well good luck girls, hope you find some cute clothes." Esme was so sweet she was like my second mother—well more like my first because Renee, my so-called mother left me and my dad Charlie after I graduate Kindergarten.

And as we lefty Alice started to yammer about some cute clothes she saw in a fashion magazine.

A/N: So did you like it?! Please tell me in a review.