Ok so this is my first serious fic. I am super excited and really dreading having it posted. Please let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer wrote it and owns it all.
Summary: This story starts during Twilight/Midnight Sun. Too engrossed in her husbands' near future, Alice does not see Edward attack Bella Swan until it is too late. After waking as a vampire, how does Bella react when she finds out Edward is the reason she can no longer see her family? Rated for future events.
My summary needs some working on I know! :) I hope you enjoy!
A/N: I edited it a little bit, there were some punctuation errors that I forgot to remove! :)
"Alice I do not understand how you could not have seen this before it happened," I said watching my sister from my place next to the young woman whose life I had stolen.
"I'm sorry Edward," her eyes drifted to her husband, "I was so wrapped up in Jasper's future that I was barely paying attention to anyone else."
Jasper wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. His thoughts indicated that he was annoyed that she had been watching him so carefully but his love for her outweighed his annoyance.
"Did you not think to remove yourself from the situation?" Esme asked calmly.
I shook my head, "The thought had not even crossed my mind."
"And what about her mind son? "Carlisle asked.
I blanked; I had not told them that I was unable to read her thoughts.
"Can't you read her thoughts Edward?" Jasper asked sensing my hesitation. I shook my head.
"But I thought-," Emmett started.
"No Emmett, earlier in the cafeteria I heard nothing. Right before I," I paused as my guilt and self loathing starting to resurface, Jasper sent a wave of calm my direction and I nodded towards him, then continued, "I heard nothing. She was a mental mute." They all looked at me with questioning eyes that matched their thoughts. This had never happened to me before.
"Why didn't you just hold your breath?" Alice asked.
"Her blood was like nothing I'd ever smelled before," I said listening to each of their thoughts for a reaction. Carlisle planned to talk to his friends in Italy to see if they knew of anything like this before; he was worried because she had not made a sound or moved since we arrived. Esme was saddened by the loss Chief Swan was suffering.
A memory surfaced in Emmett's mind that caught my attention. He was recalling a time when he had smelled a scent so sweet he could not resist. It was as if the blood called to only him.
"Yes, Emmett, it was exactly like that; with the exception that you did not kill twenty-three innocent children and a teacher to get to her," I replied to his memory.
They all looked from me to Emmett, puzzled looks on both Alice and Jasper's faces as they had not been with us then. Was it that bad? He thought.
"Worse" I replied, "I did get a chance to clear my mind momentarily."
"What happened to change that, son?" Carlisle asked from his spot next to Esme. Venom pooled in my mouth causing my throat to flame as I recalled the memory of her scent.
I watched her walk towards me stumbling a bit along the way, the monster inside rejoicing that the only chair available was the one next to me. Her expressive brown eyes watched me cautiously, regarding the look of hatred that was surly plastered on my face. I did hate her, immensely. She was my own personal demon, sent as punishment for my wayward years. I watched as she pulled out her chair, set her backpack down- and sat down regarding me once again. I tried once more to listen for her thoughts, hoping that it would bring me out of my bloodlust induced stupor, but I heard nothing. She shook her hair out and used it to block herself from my view. The action only sent a more concentrated wave of her scent towards me and that was all it took.
The hunger and desire I felt was so potent that I saw Jasper wince.
"We should have gone hunting sooner," Carlisle said, "There was truly no valid reason to have kept us from doing so". I nodded and Esme walked towards me wrapping her arms around me.
"I am truly sorry Edward," Alice spoke her brow furrowed. "At least the vision did finally come- strong enough to break through my scrutiny on Jasper's future."
At least we got to both of you in time, she added internally as an afterthought.
"But not everyone else Alice," I added to her thought out loud. This should not have happened; I should have been strong enough to stop it.
I still felt the effects of Jasper's gift adding to my own thirst and I swallowed the venom as I, recalled her scent and the taste of her blood again. The monster that I was was getting the better of me, and I could think of nothing else. I needed to stop this before it took over completely.
I watched Jasper pull Alice close and she nodded, both his thoughts and her vision preceding what he was about to say.
"I'm going to hunt," he stated out loud looking to Emmett and Rose who nodded. Please do something other than sit there loathing yourself Edward, he added internally, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
"I'm sorry Jasper," I replied, turning to stare at the young woman, barely noticing them jumping out of the window. I listened as their minds retreated into the forest and thought about what I was going to do. Would it be best if she woke up without me here? Of course, I could leave- I didn't have to be here.
Then I thought of something else: What if she did not remember that it was I who had done this to her? How would I handle that? Would we tell her? Would she really want to know who ended her life? Either way, I would have to deal with it in the long run. Carlisle and Esme would extend an offer to be part of our family.
I could stay away long enough to find out whether she remembered or not, but where was I going to go until it was ok to come back? Alaska? I didn't really care to deal with Tanya's advances, but I would be a welcome guest in the home of our extended family.
"Don't you dare even think about leaving Edward," Alice half yelled at me as she exited the room. Esme who was following her turned to me – eyes wide.
No Edward, Please don't, her internal voice sadden by my decision. I glared at Alice as she left. I knew the reason she blurted it out: Esme. Esme would never let me leave.
I sighed, defeated by a four foot ten hellion disguised as my sister. "I will stay Esme, do not worry." Her face softened and she smiled as she exited. I looked back to the young woman. Her clothes would need to be changed soon. Even now with the blood congealed, the scent was still strong and it permitted the room. I would ask Alice and Esme to help since they were better equipped to do so.
Esme and I are already on our way back Edward. I guess I should have known that she would have seen that I was going to ask, or perhaps she thought about it earlier. I had not paid attention to anything but the conversation that happened only two minutes ago. I watched as they reentered the room with the supplies needed to clean the mess I had made. I got up and waited patiently behind the door as they took care of her.
Once they were finished, I resumed my vigil over the young woman. "I promise I will stay here until you open your eyes. I am no coward; I will face the consequences for doing this horrific thing to you." Could she even hear me? Was she even conscious? I listened to my sister's thoughts. Alice couldn't tell at the moment. Her vision was blurry but she did see her.
I still thought it was odd that she was so quiet. Carlisle had managed to stay quiet during his change, but he understood what he was becoming and knew it was imperative that he remain hidden. What was it that kept this girl so quiet?
After some time, Carlisle came in to sit with me. His inner monologue was filled with all that happened and working a patient's case at the same time. I knew he was here to keep me company and also give himself a break from his medical books.
"It could be Lyme disease," I said, answering a thought that had crossed his mind.
She did say her husband was an avid hunter; he may have brought more than a deer home.
I nodded. He sat with me a while longer as he pieced together how Lyme disease was possible. When he was sure that it was, he stood and left. "Thank you son," he said as he returned to his study.
Time. All we had was time and I spent my time sitting here thinking about what I had done. Almost every member of my family had taken some time to sit with me; except Jasper and Rosalie. How much time had passed? How long had I been sitting here watching her? I could only think of how I ended her life. Minutes and seconds did not matter to me at this point. She was still so quiet and she was so beautiful. How could I have ever thought that she was just an ordinary looking girl?
Her already pale skin was starting to harden; that I could see. Her chocolate brown waves now brushed by Alice or Esme- who ever shooed me out of the room at the time. A pale blue satin gown replaced her bloodstained clothes. We were all worried about this girl- with the exception of Alice who said she was getting clearer, easier to see.
The young woman still had not moved or made a sound since I had bitten her. She just laid there with an almost serene look on her face. I couldn't read her mind while at school and it was much the same now. I wondered why that was.
Carlisle walked in, his thoughts preceding him. Don't be so hard on yourself son, forgiveness dripping from his internal voice. The whole family had forgiven me for what I had done. I am not sure why. I know all of us had slipped once or twice, well all of us except Carlisle and perhaps Rosalie. It bothered me.
"How can you forgive me for this Carlisle?" I motioned towards the young woman, "For this atrocity that I have committed? I intentionally killed innocents." For one. One whose blood smelled- and tasted- so much sweeter than anything I had ever smelled in my existence. My mouth filled with venom as I once again recalled the memory. I pushed the monster to the back of my mind. He was not in control- I was.
"Edward, son, you did what was only natural. I cannot simply disown you for that. Yes I was disappointed, but what's done is done and I have forgiven you whether you think you deserve it or not." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "You have only not accepted that we have forgiven you because you refuse to forgive yourself." Which is hard for you because of how you feel over what you did, and we understand that, he added.
"Rosalie will never forgive me," I stated, knowing she hated the idea of having to move and start over.
"Rosalie is mad yes, but even she has forgiven you. We know she does not want to start over at a new school, and I cannot blame her. I would hate to move so soon especially with the end of the school year so near."
"What are we to do then?" I looked to the man who was my father in every sense of the word; except the one that did not matter.
"Rosalie came up with a plan to cover this up until then," he pulled up a chair and sat next to me and continued, "After the incident both Emmett and Rosalie brought you two home while Jasper and Alice ignited the biology lab."
"They just blew it up? Will everyone buy that?" I wondered aloud watching as he nodded.
Alice saw that it had the best possible outcome; no survivors, he sighed, "They are not able to identify half of the bodies, and are going based on a roster alone of who was in that class."
"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?" I asked staring into his golden brown eyes. I knew mine were still a bright scarlet; I didn't have to look into a mirror to know that and I didn't need more of a reminder of what I had done.
"We felt it best not to add to what you were feeling at the moment." Jasper can barely stand to be in the house for long periods of time.
I placed my head in my hands, "How could I Carlisle? So many innocent children and her," I looked towards her. Those expressive brown eyes had been forever shut- by me.
Perhaps she was meant to be with us always, he thought. I thought about what he said.
I knew her blank mind intrigued me, and I wanted to know more about her. Flush out her secrets so that her inner voice would come through. I wanted to do that because I knew her thoughts would be the same as the others and not worth the time I would waste to get to them. Would the outcome still have been the same if I had not bitten her? I hoped not, but now that I had I could not take it back.
He sat with me a while longer until Esme came. She looked odd, perhaps it was the black dress she was wearing. Esme always wore light colors. I didn't move as she wrapped her arms around me giving me a gentle squeeze. It will be ok Edward.
"How do you know that for sure Esme?"
She smiled, "Alice of course. Nothing can bring her down when the future looks bright." I scoffed at that. Esme frowned, "I just came to tell you that the school is holding a memorial tonight and we will be leaving shortly." How long had I been sitting here watching over her?
"How long have I been here Esme?" I asked looking at her.
Almost three days Edward.
My eyes widened and I turned back to the young woman.
"But don't worry, Alice says she won't wake up while you're alone. She sees that all of us are there when she does," she continued. Did Alice know how this girl would react? If she would remember or not? I thought about asking her.
I can't see anything Edward. I can only see when she will wake up. It's as if that is the only thing set in stone. I think it has to do with the fact that she is a newborn. Jasper told me they are very unpredictable, only wanting to feed, and their emotions are all over the place. I remember being that way, but I knew there was something else out there for me. Through her eyes we both looked at the crescent shape scars that blanketed her husbands skin.
We are leaving for the memorial now, Son. Please let us know if anything changes, Carlisle thought from the first floor. "Esme, Darling, we are ready to leave," he spoke aloud. My mother gave me one last hug then left.
Before they were out of my hearing range, Alice gave me a look into the memorial. It was being held in the gym. How appropriate I thought sarcastically. There was a large board that held pictures and letters to all who were 'lost' in the fire. In the vision I saw Chief Swan sitting at the very front surrounded by eight figures, six with darker skin, Quileute's. I watched as my family kept up the pretense that I had also been among those who had died that day. As they drove further away, Alice's vision faded and I could no longer see anything but the girl lying in front of me.
"I am so sorry Isabella; I wish I could take it all back." I lifted my hand to smooth back her hair but thought better of it. I wanted to touch her, hold her, and make it all better. This was an odd feeling for me. It was just as odd as when I wanted to protect her from Jessica's trivial thoughts.
Only now she is going to be more durable, I thought sadly.
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Please let me know what you think.