Bucky Barnes had lived in nearly every continent now. Adding Wakanda to the list allowed there to be only two left; Australia and Antarctica, as long as living in a boat of the coast of Panama while planning an assassination during US's Operation: Just Cause.
He used his walking stick to gently nudge the Zebu cow in his care aside so he could pass. It lowed at him and stepped out of his way, slowly bringing its large head to his side. Bucky scratched it behind its long ear and up around her horn, she leaned heavily into it.
"I gotta get going." He laughed quietly.
The cow mooed again, but when he pat it on the soulder, rocking her hump, she seemed to understand and returned to grazing in the cool shade of a sycamore fig. Bucky continued to the fence around the perimeter of "his yard." It wasn't really his, he didn't own anything anymore, it belonged to the nation of Wakanda, but T'Challa was kind enough to allow him some farmland while he got back on his feet.
"Sergeant Barnes," Shuri nodded in his direction.
"Bucky," He repeated for the thousandth time.
"Are you ready for your training?" She asked, Bucky nodded taking his arm from the box in front of him, "Gakeri is to accompany you today, is that alright?"
Bucky made sure the arm was on comfortably before answering. Gakeri was a Dora Milaje, and was currently in their traditional orange garb.
"We should be fine," Bucky nodded before closing the gate behind him.
"Will you ever consider cutting your hair shorter?" Gakeri asked as the two of them set up targets against some fever trees.
"I prefer it as it is," Bucky said, slightly stand offish. He was wondering what made them change who he was training with, he had finally gotten used to Dhakiya, the Dora Milaje he'd been working with the first few weeks.
"It only makes sense to cut it short if there will be combat," Gakeri said.
"I don't really care," Bucky retorted. Gakeri seemed to square her shoulders but said nothing. "Shouldn't we clear the zebra out of the area first?"
Dhakiya always started their target practice sessions chasing the zebra away. Gakeri shot the ground a few times, which of course spooked the zebra enough to scare most of them away. And with that she handed Bucky the assault rifle.
"Here you are White Wolf."
Bucky still wasn't sold on the code name, he'd always pictured wolves as loyal, noble creatures, he didn't feel he deserved the title, he was lots of things, but last of all loyal. Nevertheless, he took the gun. It felt all too familiar in his hands, even the artificial one. All the arms he'd ever had, even the ones back in the early days of Operation: Winter Soldier, had full nerve sensation. It was great at times, to feel the grit on a road when tracking, but bad others, when Tony Stark was ripping it off his body.
He took aim and shot, emptying a magazine. It hurt this time. Not physically, but it was coming back. His mind had gone through so much – the reminder of his many years at war came hurtling back, crashing against his psyche like a ton of bricks. He dropped the gun, collapsing to his knees. He was vaguely aware of Gakeri calling back to Shuri, but all he could feel was the emotional weight of suddenly remembering his entire battalion, every friend he'd ever had, every childhood rival, everyone he'd ever known was dead or nearly 100 years old. The loneliness that flowed over him was added to by the flashbacks of the friends he had seen die, and the men he'd killed, being torn apart by bullets. He was yelling in anguish, the nearby birds had stopped singing, and Gakeri anesthetized him.
––––––––––
When Bucky woke this time, he could've sworn he was back in the 1940's in a hospital bed in Brooklyn after a particularly hairy fight he and Steve ended up in because of the kid's knack for picking battles that were too big for him to handle. But this time it was different, for one, Steve was easily twice the size, plus he had some stubble growing, but most of all, this time it was Bucky who needed the protecting not little big-fight Steve-o,Mnoh and he was on a straw bed in a clay hut. But Steve's unnecessarily worry at his bedside always reminded him of the good old days.
"How're you doin' Buck?" Steve asked softly, a sad look in his eye.
"Where am I?" Bucky asked, trying to sit up, but he was an arm short of what he'd expected, so he ended up leaning to one side instead. He righted himself and sat up to meet Steve's eyes on his own level. Steve was sat on a rug at his bedside, hands clenched together nervously.
"You're in Wakanda, Buck its two thousa–"
"No I mean, what building?"
"Your hut, they wanted to keep you away from the rest of the people in case…" He trailed off. Bucky looked down.
"In case I went Winter Soldier," He said, Steve averted eye contact.
"How are you feeling?" Steve asked.
"Like shit, but I've been worse," Bucky said with a shrug, "How are you, I feel like its been ages."
Steve chuckled,
"It has been a while, hasn't it?" He said, "We've been making it, Nat and the others are in the UK."
Bucky shook his head,
"No, Steve, how are you?" He asked again.
Steve smiled softly,
"I can take care of myself you know," He said
Bucky's gaze didn't let up.
"I'm beat Buck," Steve said.
"They have a saying here, 'Yeni ka amanii kosikis kotubor,'" He said, "it means don't focus too much on one area; you're trying too hard to make sure everyone else is ok, you're not paying attention to yourself again," Bucky said.
"Look at you, quite the little philosopher."
"I'm serious Steve, you have to leave time for yourself." Bucky insisted.
"Alright, well, what better place for a vacation than Wakanda?"
"We can go to the falls," Bucky shrugged. "Maybe go for a swim?"
"That sounds like fun." Steve said with a smile.
Bucky stood up, stretching, and threw on a shirt.
"Let's go then," he said heading out of the hut.
Steve followed. The Zebu cow walked over, shaking her head, clicking one of her long horns against the fence.
"That's a weird looking cow you've got there," Steve laughed, watching Bucky rub her neck, scratching the skin flab below her throat.
"How dare you!" Bucky said covering the cow's long silky ears, "I'll have you know I traded all three of Nanny's kids, and a basket of cheese for big ol' Bessie here."
"Look at you, a kid from Brooklyn running a farm,"
"They started me out like anyone else, one goat," He said proudly, "Well, and some land." the simple act of getting himself on his own two feet, with only the directive of his neighbors, had done wonders for his self image. He was leaps and bounds ahead of where he had been psychologically from that alone. Bucky grabbed his walking stick, his only protection from lions or wild dogs, and with a wave to the neighbors, the two men headed out of town. They followed the dirt road through the long golden grass towards the river.
"Here?" Steve asked, looking longingly at the cool water, but Bucky shook his head, bubbles coming from the depths told him this water wasn't safe, and the fact the birds could perch on a grey mound in the center of the lake told him there were at least two hippos. He knew hippopotami were dangerous, some of the mothers in town even warned their children a hippo was what got his arm (after he refused to tell them the real reason it was missing).
"This isn't safe water." He said and they continued upstream, through the burning sun.
They passed under a few thorny acacia trees, at first not even seeing the camouflaged giraffes eating amongst them. Steve was awestruck at the gentle giants, their giant hooves thumping against the packed dirt. The next body of water was very large, but filled with all sorts of animals, water buffalo, zebra, impala, ostriches, gazelle, waterbuck, kudus, even a pack of wild dogs and a lion all drank side by side from the large watering hole, as if a truce had been made. It seemed so peaceful, until one of the watching crocodiles tried to grab someone. Steve and Bucky continued walking.
They finally came to a cave.
"You're gonna love this." Bucky smiled, stepping out of the sun through a hole in the rock.
Steve pushed his hair back with one hand nervously, then followed his best friend into the cave. The temperature dropped easily ten degrees in the few seconds between the outside and in. Inside the sun just peeked through a crack near the top of the cave, but it was a low lighting. Large blue dragonflies flew around, skimming off the water in the center of the clear lake in the center of the large atrium. A cool gentle waterfall flowed from the ceiling into the lake, which was filled with colorful fishes of blue, orange, and yellow.
"I found this a few weeks ago. I've had a lot of time to myself," Bucky told his friend.
"This is breathtaking." Steve said as a black spotted orange butterfly landed on his shoulder and began cleaning its antenne. Vines snaked up the walls of the cave, covered in tiny yellow flowers with two large petals and a smaller one below them, moss below them with almost fern like leaves branching into other leaf like bits. Songbirds of all colors and sizes were bathing in cool water, singing and chirping.
"C'mon," Bucky smiled, undressing and sinking into the deep cool water.
Steve quickly followed suit, relieved to slide into the refreshing depths.
The fish darted away at first, but upon realization that the men meant them no harm, slowly circled them, closer and closer. Bucky smiled and swam underwater, popping back up under the waterfall. Steve followed him over.
"How did you find this place?" Steve asked, "it's paradise."
"Dhakiya told me about it," Bucky said, splashing his friend.
Steve returned the splash and dunked his friend underwater. He resurfaced behind the man, wrapping his arm loosely around his friend's neck, his knees up, knocking him in the back as well. Steve yelped as he went under, coming up sputtering, he ducked back underwater from a swing and picked Bucky up, throwing him across the lake. The fish scattered at the splash and the birds flapped madly away, flying to the other end of the lake.
"No fair, I'm an arm down!" Bucky laughed, water was dripping down his face, his hair flat against his tan skin.
Steve had gone quiet, he was just watching his friend with a small smile.
"You ok?" Bucky asked, swimming over to him.
"Yeah," Steve smiled, a faraway look in his eyes. He brushed his friend's hair back behind his ear. "I'm glad you're here Buck."
"I'm glad you're here too, I've wanted to show you this place since I found it," He said.
"No, I mean, I'm glad you're here, with me," Steve said. His hand still lingering on the side of Bucky's face. "I wouldn't have wanted it to be anyone else."
Bucky took his friend's hand in his own, taking it off his face.
"What are you saying Steve?" Bucky asked, suddenly acutely aware that they were skinny dipping in East Africa.
"I'm saying I missed you, and… and I'm glad we're, here," He said awkwardly, "I dunno."
Neither had made a move to let go of the other's hand. Bucky splashed his friend with a laugh.
"I missed you too, man," He laughed, but he wanted to say more.
Steve looked up at him, again the little kid from Brooklyn picking big fights to get his friend's attention.
"Buck I still… I meant what I said to you that night," Steve said.
Bucky was swept back to that night all those years ago.
––––––
It was the night before Bucky was shipping out. They were meant to be getting drunk, meeting a girl, whatever, but instead they were limping away from another stupid fight Steve had gotten in.
"What the hell is with you Steve?" Bucky asked, as he spat some blood from his mouth, he'd bit his cheek during a punch to the face.
"I should be going with you!" Seve grumbled kicking a rock.
"Steve, stop it, I thought you were over that!" Bucky said.
They were both quite a few beers in.
"I want to be there with you!" He cried, "I need to protect you!"
"Steve first of all, that's not how it works, and –"
"No, James, you don't get it, I'm in love with you!" He said, then immediately slapped his hand over his mouth.
–––––––
Bucky looked down.
"I know," he said softly, "I just can't."
Steve went to let go of his hand underwater, but Bucky held tight.
"I think… I really like you Steve," Bucky said, "I just can't –"
"I know, you can't love me," Steve said, "I get it."
"No Steve, I… already do love you," He said, "I just can't… I can't act on it, you're my best friend, my only real friend, if it doesn't work out… I'm alone, then there'd be nothing stopping me from going full Winter Soldier."
Steve was speechless.
"You do?"
"Of course I do, you idiot."
Steve laughed almost relieved, but then he remembered the rest of what he said.
"What if we take it slow?" Steve asked, "like, real slow?"
Bucky laced their fingers together and Steve felt a shiver go down his spine.
"Ok," Bucky said, then paused, "can I kiss you?" he asked.
Steve beamed.
"Be my guest."