Author's Notes: Yes, I know I have 2 stories that need to be updated badly, but my muse has been kicking my butt about writing this story, too. So, here it is. It was suppose to be a oneshot, but the longer I kept on writing, the more I realized this needed to be divided up in chapters (makes it much easier to read). Anyway, here's another post "Frame" inspired story. The bold, italicized words come from the interrogation scene of that episode. They are in no particular order. I just wrote them down as I tried to remember what was said. This may be a bit OOC for Bobby, but I think this could possibly happen to our favorite detective given his family history. The usual disclaimer: LO:CI and its characters belong to Dick Wolf and company; I'm just borrowing them for a while. Thank you to everyone who reads and/or reviews my stuff or has put me or my stories on their Favorites/Alert lists. I really appreciate it. Read, review and enjoy. :o)
"Frank. Nicole. Me. Deadweight. I wanted you to have a clean slate. You're free now. Bobby, you're free."
Detective First Grade Robert Goren sat in the interrogation room, staring at Declan Gage in disbelief. A look mixed with shock, disgust, and pity that could be seen on his face, especially in his eyes. The longer he sat there looking eye to eye with his mentor and friend who had just confessed to murdering his nemesis Nicole Wallace, the harder it was for Bobby to wrap his mind around the fact that his white whale (as Captain Ross had called her) was actually dead.
The door to the interrogation room opened and in walked Bobby's partner, Detective Alexandra Eames. She was followed by a uniformed officer. "Dr. Declan Gage, you're under arrest for the murder of Nicole Wallace," she said, reaching for her handcuffs. Gage scoffed lightly as he stood up. "I know what I'm being arrested for, Detective. Sheesh." He placed his hands behind his back as she read him his rights before handing him off to the officer.
Bobby sat there motionless and speechless, watching the scene before him. As the officer led Gage towards the door, he turned his head to look at Bobby and said, "You'll appreciate your freedom in time and enjoy it." Bobby remained silent as he watched Declan Gage being taken away. "Are you okay?" Alex asked. He looked at her and opened his mouth, but no words came out. After a couple of minutes of silence, Bobby cast his eyes downward and shrugged his broad shoulders slightly. "I don't know," he said softly.
Captain Danny Ross walked into the interrogation room. "Good work, Detectives," he said. Bobby and Alex both nodded. He let out a deep sigh then said, "After you've finished wrapping up the paperwork on this case, I want both of you to take some time off." Alex opened her mouth to protest, but the captain held up both of his hands to stop her. "I've already made up my mind. This is not open for debate or discussion. I'm not ASKING you to take time off, I'm ORDERING you to take time off. Now, do your paperwork, turn it in and then go home. I'll see you both in 4 days."
Captain Ross turned around and walked out of the room before either Bobby or Alex could say anything. Alex glanced at the floor briefly before looking at her partner. "Maybe the time off will do both of us some good," she said hopefully. Bobby just nodded his head without saying a word. He stood up and followed her through the door to their desks. He was feeling numb, still trying to comprehend Declan Gage's absurd sense of what freedom should be.
"I'm curious. Who…who are you going to miss more? Nicole or your brother?"
"Who am I going to miss more? What kind of stupid question is that?!" Bobby thought to himself as he worked on his reports. "What difference does it make anyway? They're both dead. I don't give a damn any more." He continued working in silence, sniffing every once in a while as he tried to hold back the sadness that was about to overcome him. "Hey, Goren. You've got a call on line 3," Detective Aaron Richards said as he walked by Bobby's desk. "Thanks," he replied before picking up the receiver.
"Major Case, Goren speaking," Bobby said in a flat, lifeless voice.
"Hey, Handsome," said the female voice on the other end.
A small smile tugged at the corners of Bobby's mouth as he recognized his wife Angel's voice. "Hey, Beautiful."
"You okay?" she asked. "You sound kind of down."
"I'm okay. Just busy. Que pasa, querida?"
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm making Chili Macaroni Hamburger Helper for dinner tonight. So, if you want something else, you'd better tell me now," Angel said.
Bobby scoffed softly and said, "I'll eat whatever you have a craving for."
"You'll regret saying that when I start wanting to eat Doritos covered with chocolate ice cream." Angel waited for Bobby to laugh or make some kind of comment. Instead, all she got was silence.
"Bobby, you sure you're okay?" Angel asked, her voice tinged with concern.
"I'm okay, Angel," Bobby said. "I-I…there's just a lot going on here. I'll talk to you later. Bye." He hung up the phone before Angel had a chance to say anything else.
Angelica Marie Goren let out a small sigh as she hung up the receiver. She looked down at her 5 month baby bump and rubbed it. "Something's wrong with your Papi, Chico," she said softly. "We gotta find out what the problem is."
"Did you ever ask yourself 'Why?' Why nobody ever came through for you? You think it was your fault?"
Bobby and Alex finished their paperwork, then headed towards the elevators. Bobby was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Alex speaking to him. She shook his arm to get his attention. "The elevator's here," she said, pointing at the open doors. "Sorry," he mumbled as he entered the empty elevator after her. He leaned against the back wall and stared at the ground. Alex pressed the button for the parking garage, then turned to look at Bobby. "Earth to Bobby. Come in, Bobby," she said. "Are you okay?" He raised his head a little to look at her, but then he lowered it again.
Alex sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I wish you'd say something instead of shutting me out," she said. Bobby didn't say anything. "What am I suppose to say? Anything I say will always be the wrong thing to say," he thought to himself. When the elevator doors opened on the parking garage level, Alex walked out of the elevator and headed towards her car. Bobby followed her, lightly grabbing her arm. She looked at him with a questioning look on her face. "I-I-I'm sorry that I've failed you and-and our partnership and friendship. You-you deserve someone better than me," he said quietly.
Bobby turned around and walked to his car, leaving Alex standing there confused by what he had said. "What is that suppose to mean?" she asked. "I'll see you later," he replied over his shoulder. She watched him as he got into his car and drove away. Alex shook her head as she went to get into her own car. She smacked the steering wheel a couple of times before turning on the car's engine. "Dammit, Declan Gage!" she said. "What the hell did you do to my partner?"
"After Jo, I had no one. You, you're the son I never had."
Angel glanced at the digital clock that was on the bedside table after she pulled her tank top over her head. It read 10:20 p.m. She had tried to wait for Bobby to come home so that they could eat dinner together, but she couldn't hold out (after all she was eating for two now). After she had finished eating, she took a shower. The sound and feel of the running water helped to soothe her worried mind because the conversation she and Bobby had earlier was starting to bother her.
When the baby started moving around, Angel rubbed her stomach. "I know your daddy's not home yet, Little One," she said. "Don't worry." She picked up her cell phone, pressing the speed dial number for Bobby's cell. His voicemail message immediately came on. "Hey, Handsome. I was just wondering when you were coming home. Give me a call, okay? I love you," Angel said. She pressed the 'end' button, then placed the phone on the table.
Angel began humming softly as she rubbed her belly again, trying to calm the baby's restless movements. She said, "Andrew Robert Goren, settle down, mi hijo. You'll hear your daddy's voice in the morning." She chuckled lightly to herself as the baby continued moving around. "Okay, Chico. Let's put the food up and get some chocolate ice cream. We'll watch some TV while we're waiting for Bobby." Angel chuckled again when she felt a small kick as she headed towards the kitchen. "I'm glad you agree with my ice cream selection."
"It isn't, you know. They failed you. You did everything you could for them. And more."
"You're worthless and useless! You're no son of mine!" "Look at what you've done! You killed the only son who ever cared about me. You're such an ungrateful bastard!" "I'm the better son. Mom said so. What makes you so special? Nothing!" "Oh, my poor Bobby! Do you miss me already?" "Such a brilliant, tortured and misunderstood genius. Ah, well. Like father, like son." "You're free now, Bobby. You're free."
"Shut up!" Bobby hissed loudly at the cacophony of voices that were talking to him in his head. He was sitting in his car in the parking lot of some unknown liquor store. He looked around, trying to figure out where the hell he was. All he knew was that he had been on the road for 3 hours, stopping only once for gas. He shook his head a few times, then massaged his forehead, trying to make the voices go away.
The voices eventually quieted down after a few minutes, but they were quickly replaced by a sinister and taunting laugh. Bobby squeezed his eyes tightly and balled his hands up into fists. "Go away," he said. The laughter got louder. "Pathetic!" the disembodied voice said. "Go away," Bobby repeated. "Why should I go away? I'm the only one who has your best interests at heart. Besides, I'm not going anywhere until you leave this Earth."
"Shut up and go away," Bobby said. The Voice laughed. "Make me, you pathetic piece of shit!" it said. Bobby sat there, trying to will the arrogant and spiteful voice to leave him alone. "Oh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. You know the only way to get rid of me is with a teensy, tiny bit of alcohol. Give me that and I'll be gone." Bobby inhaled and exhaled heavily for a couple of minutes. Then he said, "Fine. I will get some alcohol if it will make you go away!" "Oh, make sure you get the good stuff, too. I hate that cheap crap," The Voice said as Bobby got out of his car and headed towards the liquor store.