New story idea I got the other day. It started out as a oneshot, but I felt like Lily gave into James too quickly, so I extended it, and now it's going to be a multi-chapter fic til I figure out how long I want to go with it. Shouldn't be too long.

Read and Review please! I always love the feedback!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does.

Lily POV

He loved me. At least, that's what he told me. Every day, sometimes every hour since our fourth year he told me that he loved me. That he cared for me. That he would do anything for a date with the notorious Lily Evans. And of course, I didn't believe him.

He said that he cared, that he wanted me, that he wanted to make me his. But he acted like it was a game and the professions of love, well, I brushed them aside in my mind. It had to be a joke. The famous and ever attractive James Potter could have any girl that he wanted. Except for me.

So you see, I thought it was a game to him. I thought that he liked to see me riled up and fuming, because he could get that reaction out of me. Even if it was negative he created a fiery passion between the two of us.

But then he began to change. He stopped with the outgoing and embarrasing flirting, stopped putting the spotlight on us in public. He stopped preying on the weak for a laugh and began assisting those in need. He let me see the true James instead of the Potter that I loathed. He told me that he had seen an error in his ways and that he wanted to change.

And I believed him.

I let him take a hold in my life, and like the roots of a tree, our friendship grew and took hold. He became a center part of my life, something I depended on. In the past, I had been missing something to tie me down, and I found that anchor in him. I woke up with a smile on my face, and my day could be made instantly with a single look from him. My spirits soared when we embraced, and when we kissed sparks flew behind my eyes. And finally, I loved him too.

I loved him, but I guess that wasn't enough. Though he had told me that he truly loved me for years, in his mind I must have fallen from true love to conquest as soon as he had me, because his attention and his lips strayed, and I was forgotten.

Cast out by the person who told me that they loved me. Who I had finally loved back.

And suddenly I fell from someone filled with life to someone filled with longing and regret. I should have seen the way that his eyes had traveled and let him know that I was there and that I wanted him. I should have told him that depths of my feelings and begged him to stay.

In a mere few months I had gone from independent Lily with a crush to empty-shell Lily with a broken heart, and no one to fill the hole.

And with the hole unplugged, I fell down and couldn't muster the strength to climb back up.

He found me one of the worst days, out by the tree where we had spent so much time together. His footsteps were quite and his breath was even, easily masked my erratic sobs and heaving breaths.

His hands slipped to my back and to my hair, rubbing in soothing circles as he murmured calming words to my ears, which betrayed me and began to listen.

But it couldn't happen again, he couldn't have me back after all that he had done.

Standing in the common room kissing his new choice of the week in front of the table where I wrote my potions essay.

Flicking pieces of paper at my head in transfiguration reading "I never cared" and "I didn't think you'd fall so quickly".

Asking me if I'd like another go at being on of "Potter's Fangirls".

Leaving me, the worst one of all. Letting me believe that I meant something, that I wasn't just a game to play or another pretty face to be used. Making me love him and then laughing in my face about his ability to really, finally, have any girl he wanted.

He tears me out of my thoughts then, asking me why I had been crying, and what was so wrong to make me act this way.

"You", I said.

And when his faced adopted a puzzled and confused look I was quick to add...

"For letting me believe that I was special. For making me love you and then leaving me."

He looked down at me then, his face a mixture of anger and sorrow.

"Lily…" he started, but I couldn't let him finish. I couldn't let him get one word in edgewise, because I knew that if I did, I would let him back in without a second thought, and I couldn't do that to myself again.

"No. I don't want to hear your excuses or your apologies or that you're sorry. You won, okay? You did the impossible and made me love you. Happy?"

And with that I stormed off. He wouldn't get to see my tears again, especially ones that were caused by him.