"Edward! Stop. Stop!" I yelled louder than i ever have. Definitely louder than necessary for him to hear me.He didn't stop, though. He had me pushed onto the soft grass of out meadow, hands on either side of my head. "Please," I whispered through trembling lips.
"Bella," he cooed, so sickeningly sweet. "How many times have I asked you to stop? Hm?" I didn't answer. He didn't really want one.
"I could give you the exact number, love." Of course he could. A tear slid down my left cheek. His smirk trensformed into a grimaced that wrinkled hisperfect nose. "But you never did!" Edwards voice boomed through the forest, send little creatures scatteringfor shelter. At this point, I felt as helpless as them.
A whisper slipped through my lips. "Edward.." I breathed out.
"Shh shh shh!" He held a long finger to my mouth. "I'll be gentle love. You're the one who wanted this."
I did want this, before. I'm not sure what made me change my mind, but I did. And at that moment, nothing about this felt right. My body was stiff on the damp forest floor, witj onyx eyes and gray skies above me.
The cold tip of his figers tugged at the hem of my shirt before creeping up to explore. "So warm," he exhaled. I didn't feel warm. I felt colder than ice. Colder than the hands that were invading my body.
He got off of my for a moment to begin undressing. I knew running was a wasted effort, but i had to try. I sprang to my feet and ran more gracefully than i ever had. I risked peeking over my shoulder, but he wasn't there. Suddenly, hands like ice manacles grasped my arms. I let out a shriek.
Edward threw me to the ground with enough force that it knocked the breath out of me. It felt as if a brick was on my chest. It was while I was trying to catch my breath that everything changed. Things seemed to move in slow motion, while every noise screamed in my ears like a banshee.
Fabric ripping.Lips sucking skin.Throaty moans.Heavy breathing.I looked up to the sky and saw a trio of vultures flying above us. An omen. A raindrop fell in my eye, then on my bare shoulder, and exposed thighs.
So cold. I was so cold. My insides felt frostbit. I shivered and that seemed to excite him further. Who is this monster? Where is my protecter? My Edward? I couldn't fathom losing my virginity to this stranger!
I began to kick my legs and throw my arms around. My fist surly earned some bruises from pounding against his chest. "Get off me! Get off me!"
My fit came to an abrupt halt when a bitter sting inflamed my cheek. Edward slapped me? He slapped me! Clearly it was not with his full strength. I was shocked still for a moment, lost in black eyes, full of hunger.
"You promised you'd never hurt me."
Edward glared down at me, nostrils flaring like a predator hyped on his catch. Slowly, his mask began to melt. I stared, conpletely captivated, as a million emtions danced across his face.
Rage,disappointment,hate, disgust, lust, then unexpectedly, sorrow.
Hope flared in my heary. Please stop! Please make him stop! I prayed silently.
As if lightening passed through my skin and shocked him, he jumped off me. He dressed faster than I could blink, but reached out to offer me his shirt. My body lay frozen, fingers thrusting into the soil. When he realized I wasn't moving he covered me with it.
"Bella." Edward whispered so softly. "I'm a monster.." His dry sobs turned intp a horrid wail. He fleeted over to the nearest sappling a tore it from the earth, then ran back to me. When he kneeled down beside me, he noticed how i flinched away.
"I'm just dressing you," he murmered. And he did, the whole time whispering apologise and self loathing statements.
"Bella, I know an apology will never repair the damage I've done. I cannot express to you how entirely full of sorrow I am and how much i despise myself." He let out a sob and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm going to take you home now, and we both know what I have to do next." He lifted me in his strong arms. The same ones that used to comfort me, but now made me feel dirty and confused. I put my hand on his cheek.
"Edward.." My heart couldn't help but feel sad. It was so heavy with loss. Loss of my Edward, my innocence, of a friend. I also felt sad for Esme, Carlise, and his adopted siblings. "You don't have to do-"
"No!" He cut me off. "I leave to go to the Volturi tonight." More tears streamed down my face as I grieved for the Edward I once knew. "I'll never hurt you again."
He brushed a tear away with his thumb.
When we made it back to my house, Edward stood at the end of the driveway to watch me go in. The simple task I did everyday took much effort on my jello legs. I felt heavy, but also like I was floating in a dream. All of this felt like a wicked dream.
Before I opened the door, I turned and gave him once last look. I saw vacant eyes and a vampire that actually looked frail. I couldn't smile. I couldn't do anything but feel nothing. Just a numbness that caressed me, promising ro ease the pain. A bitter aftertaste still lingered within me though. It was a sour concoction of love and hate. Betrayal.
I forced myself to look away. After locking the front door, I ran to my bedroom, stumbled to the window and slammed it shut. Permanently locking it.
Goodbye, Edward.