You'd waited to long. Why had you decided to wait so long. It hurt when he met her, that stupid hunt where he saved her life. It hurt when you watched them kiss and he asked Dean for the car so they could go on their first date. It hurt when years later you still had to watch them be close and kiss all the time. It hurt when you heard her squeal and run into the room, a bright and shiny ring on her finger. And now it hurt to sit here in this damned room with her while she blabbed on to the other bridesmaids about how wonderful Sam was, how wonderful it was two hunters were going to get married.

"Oh my gosh!"

"That's adorable!"

"Tell us more!"

"You're so lucky!"

It's too late now, you waited too long and now you can't do anything about it.

"Y/N, you've known Sam a long time. Why don't you tell us a story about him?" One of the peppy girls asked.

You knew why you were here. Because you were Sam's oldest friend, and Lilly felt bad that you weren't involved in the wedding. She didn't realize that you preferred that. Because it hurt to be a part of things like this.

"I don't have much really." You lied.

The four girls in the room were all looking at you now, eyes all glued to you. "Come on! You have to know something!" They cooed.

You were trapped. And eventually caved and told a simple story about some made up day. Sure, you and Sam had memories to share. But Lilly's friends made it perfectly obvious that they didn't understand what being a hunter was. What they did in their spare time. So it wasn't as if you could tell them about anything that really happened.

But Lilly could see the way you talked about him. See the look in your eyes as you thought about Sam Fucking Winchester. And yet, she never said anything about it. Why? Because she'd won, fair and square. After all she was the one getting married to him in a few days.

"He seems so wonderful!"

"I'm so jealous!"

"I wish I had someone like Sam!"

You rolled your eyes and drank another chute of Champagne. After all this was a bachelorette party. And you were supposed to be having fun. A knock on the door sounded and all the girls oo'd and Awe'd and left you to answer it. Mala, the maid of honor, had spread a rumor about getting a stripper, but you hoped it was just that, a rumor.

You opened the door though and there stood a really good looking officer. You rolled your eyes. "Can I help you sir?" You asked, playing along.

"I got a complaint, I just need to come in and make sure everything is alright inside here." You moved out of the way, gesturing for him to come in. Then the party really started, loud music started playing and the girls went wild.

You broke away, and no one even noticed. After all you were the outsider here anyway. And in your drunken haze you simply wanted to get some fresh air. The elevator dinged, signaling you had reached your destination on the bottom floor. The doors opened and revealed the lobby of the hotel. The modernistic place you'd never in a million years pick to stay.

The air outside was cold, sending goosebumps across your exposed skin. You rubbed at them, and found a bench near the street to sit. With your fuzzy head you closed your eyes, leaning back and letting the sounds of the street fill you. This was relaxing, better than being in that stuffy room with… her…

"Y/N? Aren't you supposed to be up with Lilly?" Sam asked, taking a seat next to you.

You opened your eyes slowly, one at a time and trying to focus on him. "Yeah, I uh-" You sighed. "I just needed a break."

"They can be over whelming. I know. Trust me. They've been following Lilly around like lost puppies since they got here." Sam sighed, leaning back. He used his hands as a head rest and watched the passing cars. "Its the party tonight isn't it?" He asked.

"Yeah. Its been a crazy one." You sighed. "When's yours?" You asked. It was only right that Dean throw one for Sam since he was the best man. It was his duty right?

"Dean is making it seem like he's not hosting one. But I know he is." Sam sat up, "He's probably more excited about it than anyone else." He laughed. Even you knew it was true. Dean hadn't stopped smiling since Lilly announced they were getting married, he'd been like a little kid and helped her plan every step of the thing.

"At least he's not bitter about you getting married first." You said. Not that you would know. You were an only child. But from the countless movies you'd seen he should be upset about it, or something like that.

"Oh, I'll never have to worry about that." Sam sighed. "Well I should go back in before Dean comes out searching for me. You should go in too. Have fun with the girls."

This time you laughed. You'd have more fun with them if you spent the night in boiling lava. You sighed though and walked with Sam back into the hotel. Letting him push the buttons and help you reach your floor. "See you tomorrow." He said giving you a wave and sending you off to the party you could clearly hear down the hall.

"Yup" You responded. Things were so different between you now it hurt. No more hugs, no more closeness. Ever since this whole wedding thing became real everything had changed.

"Y/N come here!" Dean called, waving you over from behind a wall. He looked around, making sure not to draw the attention of anyone else. "Y/N!" He yelled again.

You didn't hesitate, joining him in the small kitchen. "What?" you asked, shutting the door behind yourself. No one followed, just you and Dean alone in this small room.

"I need your help tonight. I need you to help me get Sammy alone so we can do this whole party thing." he waved it off like it meant nothing, but you could tell he was holding back his excitement.

"Yeah sure. I can do that."

"Even with that gaggle of annoying chicks at your side?" he gestured to them, though in here you couldn't see them.

You sighed, "Yeah. I can break away." Last night you hadn't returned to the party, but apparently they all thought you had. When you woke up they began asking about how much fun it was and if you remembered bla bla happening. You played along, not wanting to make yourself any more of an outsider.

"Okay good. So about 8 tonight? Let me know where you are and I'll come get him." Dean shoved you back out into the ball room, letting you continue on your pointless task of writing name cards. You wished this wasn't such a big wedding, specially since Sam's family consisted of Dean and you. But somehow you had found a way to invite all the hunters you had ever met, you'd never seen so many in one place before, it was almost eerie.

"Hey Sam, come in here would ya?" You called from the hallway, your room key in hand. Sam broke away from the hunter he was talking to and joined you.

"Everything okay?" He asked, slipping into your room with you. "I haven't seen you since the other night."

"Yeah, Lilly has us all running around like chickens without heads. But I have something for you. Just- wait here a second." You went into another room, messaging Dean that you had Sam alone in your room. "Damn I can't find it, give me a second. Hey why don't you open that bottle of whiskey?"

"Sure." Sam cracked open the bottle, finding two glasses and pouring you both a drink. "Been a long week, I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow."

The pain in your heart made you stop for a moment. Sure this week had been nothing but wedding, wedding, wedding, but something about how busy you'd been made you forget. "Crazy huh?"

"You know Y/N, I never thought I'd be with Lilly. Or anyone really. I sorta had Dean's thinking branded into my head. We're hunters, there's no settling down." He poured himself another drink.

"But here we are." You said entering the room with Sam again. He handed you your drink and watched you drink it instantly.

"Yeah, here we are." He sighed, "I feel like I haven't seen you in months." He sat down on the couch in your room. Kicking his feet up on the table in front of him.

"Well, you've got a different life going on now." You admitted, joining him. "But its okay. I don't think I've ever seen you so happy." Sam smiled. "See? That's all Lilly." He tried to hide his smile, but it only grew at the mention of her name. You poured yourself another drink.

"I'm getting nervous. Seems stupid, but still." Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"You'll do fine. Just know she's waiting for you at the other side." The words were like bile in your mouth.

"Do you ever think you'll get married? To a hunter or even not one?" Sam asked. You eyed him, thrown off by his question.

"Nah." You poured Sam and yourself another shot. Reaching over him for the bottle. "I already found the love of my life, but I can't be with him."

"That's so sad." Sam said, and you could see it in his eyes he meant it. "How can he be happy knowing you love him? He does know doesn't he?"

You shook your head no, "Its okay though really." You lied, patting his thigh. "Knowing he's happy helps."

Sam sighed again, eyes hardening. You watched, hoping he hadn't caught you in your lie, hoping he didn't know it was him you were talking about. "Y/N?" He asked, his voice small.

You swallowed hard, "Yeah?"

Sam leaned forward, the smell of his whiskey breath hot and close to you. You're eyes were trained on his lips, watching his tongue dart across them. You gulped, nervous at how close you both were. Not that you hadn't ever been this close to Sam, you had. But never with whiskey thoughts. Never after feeling so vulnerable and naked after a confession.

Sam looked up into your eyes, his hand reaching towards you. You closed your eyes, ready for whatever was about to happen. "What did you want to give me?"

"Right! It's uh-" You shook off your previous thoughts. Thoughts that would never actually happen. "Its not much. But it belonged to my dad. He wore it when he got married." You handed him a small box.

He opened it, eyes watering at the sight. You wern't lying, it hadn't been much. Just a small pair of cuff links your father had kept for your wedding day. But that wasn't going to happen. And instead of letting them rot you thought passing them to Sam would be a better idea.

Sam closed the box and set it down, his large arms wrapped you in a hug. He squeezed you tightly, "It's perfect." He said into your ear, and you finally wrapped your arms around him.

"Yeah. Perfect."

Sam stumbled out of the room, drunker than he'd been in a long time. His friends called after him, yelling and hollering as the party continued. Sam smiled, he was having a blast. After spending time with Y/N and being kidnapped by Dean and brought to this club had made it all the more perfect.

Sam leaned against the wall. This was going just as he had hoped. And tomorrow everyone would have enough time to recover so that he could walk down the aisle and finally be married to Lilly. Lilly, Sam's heart swelled at the thought of her dark hair, of her perfect smile. He'd remembered saving her for the first time and the way he felt seeing her broken and bloodied. How she'd been a smart ass to Dean and only let Sam help her. He'd thought about her fighting and how she made it look so graceful, as if it were a dance rather than a battle.

But then his fuzzy mind changed, and he started to see Y/N, started to see how she'd always been there. 'How can he be happy knowing you love him? He does know doesn't he?' Sam remembered asking. He'd never seen you with anyone before, just him and Dean. You'd never made an effort to really put yourself out there and meet anyone. Even with Dean and Sam went out and needed "alone time" You'd hung back and stayed out of the way.

Had it been someone before they found you? Sam shook that thought away, there wasn't anyone before they found you. And if there was, it wasn't anyone who deserved your love. He remembered you coming across them,and how you left but kept running into them. Even then you were hardened and too deep into the life. Much like Dean.

Sam laughed at the thought of Dean and you. Sure you both bickered like old lovers, but anyone would in such close quarters. The image of you and Dean acting romantic made Sam laugh even harder, holding at his sides and almost keeling over.

And then, like a light bulb, Sam realized. He could see it so clearly now. All the longing looks, the nights spent cuddled up in hotel rooms together when you couldn't sleep, or when the hadn't had enough money for another room. The way you looked at him when he had asked in the first place. How uncomfortable it had made you and how you couldn't even look him in the eye as you answered. Sam swallowed hard.

He peeled himself off the wall, shoving his hand into his pocket. He pulled out his phone, and scrolled until he found your name. It was late, but the hours you kept meant you'd probably be awake. His thumb hesitated over your name. What would he say? He was wasted and anything could come out wrong.

"Hey! The parties inside!" Dean said, stumbling out of the club. "Get your ass in there and look at all those hotties before you can't anymore!"

Sam laughed at his brother's words. "Come on man, its your last night of freedom. You're settling down, at least getting half the apple pie life. Next thing you'll be telling me she's gunna pop out kids."

Dean leaned against the wall next to his brother. "I can't believe you are getting married." Dean said, looking out at the night sky.

"I never thought I would. But when I look at Lilly-" Sam stopped talking. Lilly. His soon to be wife. That's who he needed to think about. Not Y/N. He shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"I', proud of you little brother." Dean wrapped his arm around his brother, leading him back inside the loud club. Sam didn't fight his brother. His drunken brain clouding his previous thoughts.

You knocked on the door. "Special delivery!" You called out, leaning against the wall. In your hands was a note from Lilly to Sam, a note you had forced yourself not to read as you walked over here. The door opened a crack, Dean poking his head out and searching up and down the hall before he gripped your arm and yanked you inside.

"Thank god! I never thought you'd show up." He said, shoving you farther in the room. "You clean up nice." Dean said, eyeing the small pink dress you wore.

You blushed but shook the compliment off. "What's going on?" You asked, suddenly scared.

Dean sighed, "Its Sammy. Somethings… off about him." He pointed to Sam. Sam stood in the corner of the room. Eyes focused on his reflection in the mirror in front of him. "He's been like that all morning."

"I'll go talk to him." You pushed past Dean, approaching Sam with cation. "Its the big day." You said, patting his shoulder.

He looked at you slowly. "Yeah it is isn't it?" He said. His eyes returning back to the mirror.

You forced him to face you, reaching your slender hands up to fix his bow tie. "You still nervous?" You asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

He nodded. "Y/N? The other day before Dean took me, you were talking about the reason you'd never get married. Why haven't you told the guy you love that you love him?" You gulped, hands freezing in place. Sam's hands reached up, holding yours in his own. "Because I'm sure he'd like to know the truth."

Sam knew. Sam had put it all together and knew the truth about how you felt. "Because-" You started, but your throat was clogging. "Because it doesn't matter. He's in love with someone else. And that's okay." His eyes softened.

You pulled your self away from him, taking a step back. "Lilly wrote you a letter." You handed it to him, pulling it out from the tie around your waist. You pat your dress down, not watching Sam's face as he took the letter and opened it.

You made your way back to Dean. He'd been sitting with the other grooms men, a few that you knew, and a few that you didn't. You listened as they spoke, telling stories about past hunts. This was the first time all weekend they had been able to sit around and share stories like this. Most of the guests that Lilly had invited were strangers to your world.

You glanced over to Sam, Sam who still was reading the letter Lilly had written him. He wore a smile, the smile he always wore when he was with her and you knew. Even if Sam begged you to admit that he was the one you loved, you'd never tell him. You couldn't now. Because it was more than obvious that he was madly in love with Lilly. And you couldn't be selfish and ruin that.

Sam looked up, spotting you and turned back to the mirror.

"I should head back to the girls." You leaned over and told Dean. He smiled and nodded, entranced with the story being told. And so you left. But you weren't heading back to the girls. You wanted to leave, needed to leave.

"Y/N wait." Sam called out, but you didn't. You couldn't. You needed out of here. "Y/N!" His hand reached out and gripped your arm, flipping you so you were facing him. "Tell me the truth."

"No." You held your ground. Keeping the tears in your eyes from falling as you did. This was stupid. You were a strong hunter and you let your guard down for what? For this?

"Y/N…" Sam leaned down and kissed you, hand cupping the back of your neck and pulling you to meet his lips. They parted against yours, warm and soft. His hand pushing you closer to him. His other on the small of your back.

You were lost, letting him devour you in this public place. Where any single one of the guests could see. You were frozen, marveling in the taste of Sam's lips. And then it snapped, and your hands were pushing him off of you.

"Damnit Sam. Why did you go and do that?" You turned your back to him, wiping at your still wet lips.

Sam was the frozen one now. "I- I don't know why. I just needed to."

"You can't fuck this up Sam.!" You turned back to him, seeing the blank expression on his face. "Lilly is the best thing that's happened to you. She makes you happy. The way you smile when you look at her. Damnit Sam. Damnit. This is your fucking wedding day!" You were trying not to yell, trying not to bring attention to what just happened. But it was hard. You were upset. You were pissed. And all you wanted to do was have Sam's lips back on you despite everything.

"Whats going on out here?" Dean asked, joining you both in the hall.

You scoffed. "Perfect timing Dean. Take him back in there and make sure he walks down the aisle."

"What does that mean?" Dean asked, but you were walking away, practically running down the hall towards the exit. Making your way past the guests, past the confused faces. Ignoring the shouts and calls of where you were going or what was wrong. It didn't matter, nothing was important right now. Nothing except leaving and getting as far away as you could from the church you were in.