Chapter One - Live Life

Life sucks. I'm not even kidding or being over-dramatic saying this, because for me, it seriously does. Why? Well, first of all, I have a weird nickname, and by weird I mean kind of stupid as well. First name is Gwen, which isn't too bad. But my nickname is…*drum roll*… Gwilla. Yeah, ha-ha. Laugh it up. My mom invented all of our nicknames, in case you hadn't figured that out. And by all, I mean my seven siblings. Yes, seven. And no, my parents aren't crazy or anything. They were only trying for one more, but instead got four.

The first born is Adarg. (Don't freak, my parents have this thing about inventing first names for all their kids too.) His nickname is Daggar, which is kind of unbelievable if you've met him.

His original hair color is blond (like dad), but he's died it black. He's really preppy, and can cheer you up when you're at the worst point in your life, trust me, I know. One thing he won't put up with is excuses, or rudeness. It just bugs the crap out of him, and his very annoying favorite expression is 'there is no excuse for an excuse'. He is totally in love with his boyfriend, Olaf (Yes, he's gay.) He is also an artist, and poet. He's pretty strong though, and I think might be forming a six pack, from what I hear Olaf say, anyway, and pretty tall at 5'11, he's twenty-one and living in Oregon with Olaf of course.

Next is Brendal. And she has blond hair like my dad. Laylal (Again, don't ask.) always wears a bright red slab of lipstick and is usually seen in short shorts and a tight tank top that shows off her cleavage. Now, don't go calling her a slut, even if she is one… sort of. That's just how she is, hell; she probably doesn't even realize that some people pick up that vive. She's surprisingly sweet… when she wants to be, that is. She's also loud, and a really awesome dancer. She took ballet for all of her childhood, and still does in her spare time. But, right now she's at away at college in Arizona, majoring in the Performing Arts or something like that. She is twenty.

Next is Crisole. (Pronounced Chris-a-lee really fast) Rissa is… unique. She is the most caring person I have ever met. Her compassion is amazing, and if she wasn't such an amazing cook, I would say she would be a doctor. Rissa has long, dirty blond hair and brown eyes with a small nose and is also one of the tallest freaking girls in Washington. She's six fucking feet tall, pardon my French. None of us know why, since the doctor said she was only supposed to grow to 5'8. She doesn't wear make-up, except for a slick sheen of lip gloss and some eyeliner. The only thing about herself that she regrets is her boobs, which are definitely following the Hawtmin gene of hugeness. She's spacey, and is mistaken for stupid horribly often, though she's not. She is a babbler, and unfortunately a classic cheerleader-popular-queen-bee type of girl. She's eighteen, and a senior.

And then, the last members of my family are so annoying it's not even funny anymore. See, I'm the fourth and youngest kid born in a set of quadruplets. First is Dalimn, (Pronounced Da-Lim-na) or Breno, as he's more commonly known. He has brown hair like mom, and it's in this cool spiky cut. He has, like all four of us, huge green eyes speckled with gray. Something about him? He is obsessed with music. Seriously, half of his life is based around it… not that music isn't the greatest thing ever, but still, he's insane. About twenty-five percent of his life is based on his girlfriend Mattie, and the rest is based on his family and schoolwork, but mostly family. He used to have to share a room with Daggar, but now has his own room, the lucky pervert. He also loves history, God knows why, and everybody has known for years he wants to be a history teacher.

Next born is Eliaja. (Pronounced El-ee-ah-ja) Jaja is just my brother. I love him lots but he's annoying as hell. He's almost as buff as Daggar, but not quite. He's been in every sport in mankind and is currently on… basketball. I think… He also has brown hair, but he had black lowlights added in a couple of months ago. For some reason, he's interested in psychology. Not sure why, it's just a random thing about him. Annoyingly, he's probably the most protective of my brothers, and the guy I go to for advice a lot.

And then there's Forthden. Fone is, like Jaja, my annoying brother. Fone looks exactly like Jaja. They're like identical twins, only they get along better. As you can well imagine, they share a room, and are in all the same activities. Weird for them since when you really get to know them they're total opposites. Of course, he has red and blond highlights. Fone is the wilder one of the family, usually going to a bunch of parties and everything. There's one thing about him, though, and that's that you can count on him. When he starts something, he's determined to finish, no matter what.

And, well, you'll learn about me more as ya go.

And reason number two of why my life sucks is the following. I used to have this boyfriend named Andrew, and we were crazy about each other. He was very sweet, kind, and caring... or so I thought. We spent every waking moment we could with each other, making out, staring into each other's eyes, all that deep in love crap. We had been going out for almost a year and a half when we both decided to take it to the next step. We were very prepared, and we were 'safe' as some would call it. We chose our place and time carefully. Fone and Jaja were soccer super-stars at the time, and they had a game on Saturday night. The whole family was going but I told them I had a huge history project due, which was true, but I had finished it beforehand.

We had everything planned out perfectly, there was also a game starting at eleven the next morning, so we needn't worry of him getting out before everyone gets back. What we weren't counting on was Breno getting a text about a pop quiz on Monday, and the need to be extra prepared for it. He needed his textbook, which was home, to be prepared. What we also didn't count on, was him not being able to find it right away, and seeing if I had borrowed it. I shivered as the memory came flooding back to me.

Flashback-

As Drew ran his hand up and down my back, and I pressed my chest more tightly to his, he managed to thrust himself even more deeply inside of me. "Ooh, baby... second time is most definitely the charm." I murmured against his forehead. I could feel him smile as he dragged kisses up and down my neck. All I could think of was, "Drew... Drew... Drew..." Suddenly, the door burst open to show as exhausted looking Breno. I quickly hoisted a sheet up so he wouldn't know I was naked.

"Hey, Gwilla, did you take my-" He stopped midsentence as his eyes laid on Drew, curled up to me under the stupid blanket. His mouth fell open in shock. "GWEN!?!? WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DO-" He stopped midsentence as Drew fidgeted and the blanket twisted awkwardly, sending me tumbling over on top of Drew. I straightened up and as I did so the blanket reeled off of us, showing my tits and vagina, and showing his whopper.

Breno's eyes popped out of his head. "Gwilla... you... were doing..?" He stopped, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. He turned around and headed for the door. Placing a hand on its knob, he looked over his shoulder and our eyes met. I saw things in those eyes that are unrecognizable, and yet, still haunt me. "Get out." Was the only thing he said before walking out, slamming the door behind him. There was only one thing in those eyes I knew for sure, and that was the horrible, horrible thing called disgust.

End of flashback.

The next couple of days had been rough. Me and Breno were probably the closest of all the kids in our family, but we couldn't look at each other... couldn't talk to each other, after that. I think I'm afraid I'll see the things I saw in his eyes that night, and I think he's afraid, too, of seeing me and Drew, wrapped around each other, both of us naked. I looked at him tons, when he wasn't looking at me, that is. He was normal as could be, after the first day. After Breno left, so did Drew, after a very awkward talk. The next morning was really torture. We tried to not see each other at all, but when we did, we just hurried past, looking on, or to the side, anywhere but at each other.

Sometimes, at school, and at home, I could feel him staring at me too. It was like a burn in the back of my head. He's watching out for me, as he often did, because before this, he was just as overbearing and protective as my Jaja and Fone are. Sometimes, I thought about turning around and looking at him, but it was just a thought, often shoved away and thrown out after the first few words.

And finally, reason number three of why my life sucks. See, after that day, I told Drew that we should wait a bit before having 'it' again. He seemed very disappointed, but respected my decision. About a month after that, things seemed to get touchy. He wanted to know why I didn't want to go at it with him anymore. I told him because it would be awkward, what with my fight with Breno and all. He got angry after that... and well... My throat closed up, and bile rose in my throat. I wasn't ready to even rethink what happened. Once, I tried, and I couldn't get it out... it was just too hard.

Enough about my family and my EX-boyfriend, let's get on to something else. Like I said before, Mica is my best friend ever. But she moved to Port Angeles a while back, so we're not at the same school, and only see each other on the weekends. Of course we text 24/7. Anyway, I usually hang out with my brothers or my brother's friends at school, but a lot of the time, it's been Seth. Seth. With his sandy-colored hair and his dimpled smile. And then, last week, he went home sick for all five days. So, now it is Sunday afternoon, and I am worried out of my mind that he wasn't going to be there tomorrow.

It was hell all last week. I had had to eat with Jaja and Fone (Rissa and them insist that I should never eat alone, though it's my personal preference when Seth's not here.) and it was like hell. Of course, their friends knew not to hit on me in front of them, but when he left to throw something away, shit, it was horrible. I turned over in my bed just in time to see Rissa stepping out of our bedroom, towel rapped around her exquisite body.

"Gwilla, have you seen my purple silk pajamas? I just got them and have already lost them." She wailed and starting to look wildly around. A sigh escaped my lips.

"Did you look on Laylal's bed?" I asked. See what I mean when I say she acted strange? The clothes were in plain view on –you guessed it- Laylal's bed. She grinned.

"Thankssomuch Gwilla!" She gushed and disappeared into the bathroom again. I sighed yet again and sunk into the bed. Seth was on my mind too much. I had told myself about a million times that I didn't need or want another relationship, but Seth… Seth was different. There was something about him and me that just clicked. Though, it wasn't necessarily romantic, which was awesome.

I guess guys were often attracted to my light blond hair, big boobs, (it runs in the family), small hips, wide blue eyes and, and curves. Though, I do love my hair. It's not bubble-gum blond, more like platinum, or white-ish.

Suddenly, Rissa stepped out of the bathroom, the silk pajamas hugging her frail frame. Female shortness also ran in the family, which often worked to our advantage in the guy department, but bugged the hell out of us otherwise. She stepped over the clothes littering the room to make it to out beds, pushed close together so as to give us more room. She flipped off the light and climbed into bed.

She has this gift where, when her head hits something soft, she's asleep almost instantly. Whereas I lay in bed for hours, trying my hardest to get to sleep. In the darkness, I rolled on my side, Rissa's deep breaths calming my already hammering heart. I carefully inched the side of my tank top up, which exposed a lot of my hip. I felt around on the back side of my right hip, looking for it... I felt more bile rise in my throat as I finally did, my fingers tingling with the sensation as I ran my hand over a jagged, uneven, long, stab wound.

This story is for my very dear friend, who has unfortunatley and sadly passed away... Gwilla is based on her, actually and her siblings were based on real-life-Gwilla's own siblings. Actually, Jaja, Fone, and Breno are pretty hot in real life... ANYWAY! Really hoped everyone enjoyed it!! :D

I luv ya sweetie, and will forever! This is for you!

Story Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight!

So, I beg of you to tell me what you think! Please review, favorite, alert, you get the gist!!

So, hope all of ya enjoyed so far! And I don't mind flames, though constructive critism is MUCH preferred!

As always, TwilightHeart21