This story is completely taken from what's said in the commenty for Doomsday. For those of you who haven't heard it, Russel T Davies explains this, then says 'perhaps at a quite moment in the TARDIS he'll realise this.' Well that's just begging to have a fanfiction written about it, isnt it? I don't think anyone's written this before, but if it has been written, please tell me!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, or anything to do with it other than my toy sonic screwdriver, my Doctor action figure, a few Doctor Who books and a whole load of DVDs. I don't own David Tennant, and now I think about it I don't even own the plot to this story.
The Doctor was sitting in the TARDIS, head in his hands, thinking about Rose. It was all he seemed to do now. He'd always been able to move on before, when he'd lost companions. But not Rose. And he knew exactly why that was.
He loved her. He always had, and he never even got to tell her. If he'd had just said it a few seconds earlier… but he didn't, and she would never know. But maybe she knew. Maybe she figured it out. He hoped she did. Because she loved him, and maybe, somehow, that made it worse. Knowing that he could have told her all that time, and she would have loved him back. Knowing that she was going through the same thing he was. But then again, she couldn't be going through what he was going through. No one could. He hoped she wasn't.
He looked up at the central column. It was moving, but he wasn't going anywhere. He was just floating in the time vortex. He couldn't bring himself to go on an adventure without Rose, not yet at least. It just wouldn't be the same. Nothing was the same without her. He was so alone now. He'd felt this alone before he met her, after the time war. And she'd saved him, in a manner of speaking. She'd given him a new leash on life. And now she was gone, and he felt even more alone than ever. And it was because of the Daleks. They'd killed the Time Lords, then separated him and Rose. Bloody Daleks. If they hadn't have come through with their void ship then the cybermen would never have come through, and none of it would have happened. But one thing he'd never understood was why they'd come out on Earth. They had the whole of time and space to choose where to come out, and they'd chosen Earth. What was so special about Earth? Why couldn't, for once, they be somewhere he wasn't? Earth, the one place he was most likely to be…
Then it hit him. It hit him and his hearts sank and he felt dead inside.
It was his fault. The whole thing was his fault. The Daleks, the Cybermen, the war, Rose… it was all his fault. The Daleks had chosen Earth to come out at because they had programmed the void ship to come out at the point where they're most likely to find a time traveller. And it had figured out that he'd be there. If it had come out anywhere else then the cybermen wouldn't be there, and he might have been able to figure out another way to stop them, but because they'd come out at London he had to stop the cybermen too. It was his fault the Daleks and Cybermen had come through. It was his fault there had been a war. It was his fault Rose was gone.
All he could do was sit and stare, numbed. He was empty.
And he sat, in silence, all alone, lumbered with guilt.
It was his fault…