Lewis woke up from laying on the dusty ground. Beside him was his trustworthy and titular 12 gauge shotgun. The sky donned a dull shade of gray and winds swept the dusty plains. Lewis sat himself up, looking around. He spotted Thomas, about 20 yards away, down in the dirt. Lewis stood up, wiping the dust off his blood-stained wifebeater. He crouched down and picked up his gun and started towards Thomas. He kicked his hip and yelled at him. "Get up you lazy bitch." Lewis spat on him. "We've oughta be on the road, Ketchum. Your lazy-ass is just another tumor in my lung. Coincidentally, Lewis fell into a coughing fit. Thomas struggled to get himself up. He was pathetic. He had repulsively-colored hair, an awful, bowl-ish cut, a sick look in his eyes, and a pitiful lankiness. Thomas finally got up, only to be struck with the but of Lewis' shotgun. "You weak piece of shit," Lewis chuckled through his coughing. "Hurry up." After Thomas got up, the two strut off toward civilization.
In what was left of town was some destroyed roads, a ransacked Walmart, some abandoned hardware and outdoors stores, some gas stations, and a couple destroyed houses. Frightened people dashed across the roads, being chased by mad people rapidly unloading their guns at them. The duo strolled into an empty gas station to find laymen and losers masturbating or huffing blunts of reefer in the aisles. Thomas found a small bag of beef jerky, which the two shared in one of the aisles. "So, Thomas," Lewis stated through his meat-stifled teeth. "You think we'll make it before my lung kills me?" Lewis coughed up a phlegm of blood. "Yeah, sure," Thomas replied in a weak voice. He was soft-spoken and lacked any confidence whatsoever. "I mean, the convention's only 50 miles away. About a week more of walking and we're there." The two nodded as they stuffed their faces with jerky.
After swallowing the last bite of meat, the two left the gas station and moved onto the Walmart. After they waltzed past the obliterated doors, they were greeted by the screaming of running children running away from a black man with no legs, flopping around on his torso while blasting a gun towards the children. Lewis pointed his shotgun at the flopping man and fired a surefire shot, blowing a hole through the center of the paraplegic's chest. They strut forward, ignoring the other obstacles like shopping carts being thrown down aisles, rabid children with pictures of animatronics on their t-shirts throwing gallons of milk at them, and wild people with pistols riding around on bicycles shooting anybody they see.
Lewis and Thomas took a left down at the end of the main aisle and strolled into the clothing section. They peered down one aisle in the shoes section and found four men raping a young woman in a blue dinosaur onesie. Lewis tapped on the shoulder of the man penetrating her mouth and he instantly recognized the face. "Rhys!" Lewis shouted. He let out a hearty laugh that turned into a coughing fit. "This damned cancer's destroying me. I'm headin' to the ARF constitutional convention in Vegas to go show those stupid sons of bitches that there can't be any order in this land." "Well, Lewis," Rhys asked as he ripped his penis out of the woman's mouth. "What about the Age of Peace? 'Twas only four years ago, but things were in the best order in forever! Surely there MUST be some way to have peace and justice on this planet." Lewis shook his head. "You idiot, Rhys. You are such a stupid faggot. You are so stupid, in fact, that if you were to have a child, I would burn it and then shove its entire skeleton into my urethra. Whole. There just can't be order. One way or another, any form of governing body will fall apart. Now let that bitch give me head."
Rhys backed away cowardly and offered the woman up to Lewis. Lewis ripped off his pants and revealed his erect 6-inch penis. Everybody in the aisle laughed at him for his pathetic size, but he took out his shotgun and blasted the off the head of the guy going in the woman's ass. Lewis stuck his penis into the woman's mouth, violently pleasuring himself. The woman cried and tried screaming for escape, but it was no use. She was merely a tool for this group of men. Thomas jumped into Lewis' views and politely asked him in a nice tone, "Hey, Lewis, can I get some of her too?" "No, you sickened loser. I look healthier than you and I have cancer." Lewis replied angrily. "No!" Thomas shouted in a childish tone. "Yes." "No!" "Shut your goddamn face you annoying son of a bitch or I will blast your brains out and all over those shoes." Lewis whipped out his shotgun as he kept thrusting in and out of the woman's mouth. Thomas whimpered, cried, and shied away from the scene. Lewis blew his giant load into the woman's mouth, feeling her swallow it down. He took his penis out and gripped the woman's face by the cheeks. "Listen. I win. Boys live forever, Girls die. All girls will die while boys will rule the world." She wept a gentle tear and Lewis blaster out her neck, leaving her severed head, attached to her spinal cord. He threw it up into the ceiling, leaving the blood-dripping spinal cord hang from the ceiling. Lewis called Thomas and they headed on their way.
The duo finally arrived in Vegas. Unlike the movies, all the flashy, vibrant lights were off and corpses littered the road. Naked creeps crawled around, stuffing garbage in their mouths. Rusty cars piled up in groups and weirdos crawled in and out, up and around the piles of automobiles. They finally came across the former Luxor Hotel, which was where the ARF convention was being held. The door held a large banner, written in sloppy red letters was A R F. The two searched around inside, which was only lit by dim tiki torches and bonfires. Unfortunately, ever since the Power Crisis of 2009, the whole American grid was shut down and people resorted to flames. Those who were lucky had gas generators for lights. Finally, Lewis and Thomas found their way into the convention room, which had it doors wide open. Inside was a gas generator connected to a furiously bright light shining on a circle of folding chairs, with one in the middle. On those folding chairs sat the notorious members of Anti Rabid Fanbases.
"Knock knock," Lewis said as he entered. The whole convention turned around and gazed at him. "Who's there?" said the man in the middle. "Orange." "Orange what?" "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Orange." Orange who?" "Orange you glad I didn't shoot you all before I got my point across?" Lewis pulled out his shotgun. "Tell us what you have to say, foreign man." The prime person in the center commanded. "Why do you people think you can instate order?" Lewis explained. "Why do you fail to recognize why the Age of Peace failed? There will be no binding body of the people. Things are way too out of hand nowadays. People are raping each other in grocery stores, using people's bodies to build housing, and cutting their own limbs off to use as weapons. Don't you see that we have lost all sanity?" The man in the center took in this thought for a moment. "Mr. Smilk would like to discuss his thoughts with you." The titular leader of the convention spoke. A man on Lewis' left started to talk. "Excuse me, But what is you name?" "Lewis Dawkins." "Well Mr. Dawkins, I'd have to disagree with you because you're a fat nigger who chugs jars of mayo. Also, you're a faggot who likes Christian rock." Lewis grimaced with immense hatred and aimed his gun at Smilk. "SHUT UP!" He then hastily pulled the trigger and blew Smilk's head off. "Lewis," started another voice. "You're so stupid that you can't function like a normal human and peacefully respond to his explanation. What an obese idiot. Lewis screamed and blew the other person's head to bits. "I'M GONNA TURN YOUR HEADS INTO GROUND BEEF! THEN YOU CAN SUCK MY BALLS IN HELL!" He started shooting people around the circle, when the centered man pulled out an automatic pistol from under his seat and filled Lewis with lead. He then turned around and shot Thomas right in the heart. The end.