Hot off the presses... it's The Primeape Report! October 15, 2000
>>Today, Senator Kadabra was caught passing off confidental governemnt documents to the Psy Federation. Golbat took his power back, and the whole thing was looked into and determined to be no big deal.
>>Accusations of scandal today hit the police hard when police in Califightya were seen beating down a suspected theif. Psy rights activists started rioting claiming the pokémon was beaten down simply beause he was psychic. The queen angrily denied that, shooting back:
The sheer notion that something like that could happen in our kingdom is ludicrous! First of all, we have a prestine record as far as tolerance goes. Furthermore, the suspect was armed and resisting arrest, constituting a threat. The law here allows any amount of force on any suspect that presents a threat. Therefore it was completely legal. If you don't like the law here LEAVE!
The police commissioner added:
I agree completely with what the queen said. I'd also like to add they way you're treating this man without evidence is attrocious. He has since retired and is unable to show his face.
>>The King is returning tommorow. He was unavailable for comment due to jet lag.
>>In recent news, the Hellsprout union has been obliterated. The leader has fled and is missing. The military is searching for him now.
>>Baraka's senator Slowbro was making a missle to be used on the Psy Federation.
What's this? This just in! The Psy Federation has fled! It is unknown if they broke up.
>>We will have more news tommorow. I am in an area being bombed now. I will have more on that for you tommorow.