Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers (2007) or Transformers: Generation 1. The only song used in this chapter is Turn Around by Flo Rida.

The "music is the universal language" line is not mine...It's Blaster's. If I remember correctly he said it at the beginning of Blaster Blues (episode 37 of Transformers: Generation 1).

:Music:

Remember this in chapter eight of Preference, and Perseverance, in Life?

"I appreciate your concern, Blaster," I said seriously. "But this is a serious situation. I don't care if Jazz is the one that hosts the parties on base or if Red Alert can run circles around any decepticon, your the only one who can deal with soundwave. The autobots need you and your upbeat attitude when everything goes to the dogs. And I'm not talking about Hound. Same goes for you, Jazz. Let me put it this way," I said when they both remained silent. "Music is the universal language. I don't care if Prowl and Mirage are silent and deadly, that base of yours need some tunes to update the mood. Once again, deadly wrenchs and pranks don't count. I'm saying that you all matter, and as much as death may sometimes be inevitable..."

The autobots on base turn Lillian's serious situation into a prank. "Get ready for a prank war in-!"

:I'm countin' down so turn around

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Gotta make that-:

"Blaster!"

~0~

Situation A: "Asexual Rhythm"

Jazz played Trance and Nightcore while placing a spinning 'disco ball like' hologram projector in the middle of the ceiling. Some humans and holoforms immitated the pictures and acted like drunk people with very little else on their mind besides sex. I went up to the rafters to tear it down after an hour. I can handle somewhat inappropriate pictures. I don't mind if people grind on the dance floor or make out in front of me. It's the trying to include me part that drove me to a twitching mess.

Leo, Sam, Miles, Mikaela, Carly...When you meet Unicron...Call him Unicorn for me, nay, and make a motion with your body as if you were a bull about to charge. Laugh at that.

:Everybody lookin' around like uh oh

Oh babe whatcha say?

Let's play:

Situation B: "Beat the femme senseless"

Prowl wouldn't stop poking me or freaking me out during meditation with his disappearing ninja skills.

Mirage stalked me for a month.

When I showed up at Red Alert's office twitching violently, he said four words (I know the feeling...) before knocking me out. I was not happy. Ratchet laughed. Jazz made me overload when I couldn't move. When I called him a jerk, he laughed. He then proceeded to freak out when I started crying because I couldn't feel anything afterward. Poor darling didn't touch me for two months. I actually had to go hug him for a change. He snuggled me for two hours. Prowl had to keep pointing a gun at me whenever I started becoming twitchy from being touched for so long. I hate that gun so much...

:Winnin' a bet that can't shut you down

Come embrace the way you makin' it sound:

Situation C: "Calling all master DJ's (aka Dancing Jerks)"

Blaster played I'm sexy and I know it by Bad Touch and I'm too sexy by Right Said Fred on repeat. I had PMS that week. He ended up with several dents. He said it was worth it. Optimus is seriously considering banning music even though Galloway would be very happy with that discussion. Galloway still stays as far away from Bumblebee, Ironhide, and Optimus as possible. He lets me talk freely now. I always grin when I see him. I love my life.

:Hello let's go just know

I love the way you do it

How you take it to the floor:

Situation D: "Dirty purity"

Mirage took me on a 'field trip' to the wilderness. I thought I was safe...He left me with Hound. Hound placed me in mud and told me to stay still. He played 'who let the dogs out' during the torture. I couldn't stop twitching. I hate not being clean as much as Mirage. Hound took me to base and 'kindly' drove me to the washracks. Guess what I was bathed in? Orange soda. I tried getting them back by asking them what rhymed with orange. Hound said porridge. Mirage said door hinge. Damn it.

:Show 'em how you do it

Like yo ready for the flow

Baby you can do it fifty times in a row:

Situation E: "Eject the warning system"

When at a meeting, Ratchet asked who started the prank a few months before. Everyone pointed at me. He gave me a lap dance later with a holoform in a locked med bay. I twitched, freaked out, and became mental. Prowl, Jazz and Mirage still can't figure out how I got up to the rafters without assistance. Bumblebee and Red Alert refuse to tell. I gave Bumblebee a good wash while he was in vehicle mode and left Red a card that said 'Spy's RS' on his desk. The Twins asked if they could share the equipment Red bought. Prowl tickled me for an hour straight for the trouble that caused. It was so worth it.

:Them rows get ready for yo pose

Light, camera, action:

Situation F: "Feathers belong in a Fire"

The Twins got me back once again by somehow attaching me to a wall. They hanged a sign over my head that said "Evil Femme. Torture with Caution." Every autobot and human got a feather. Sam, Leo, Mikaela, Miles, Carly have all met Unicron. The autobots brave enough have been pranked. The Twins are still in status. Ratchet thanked me for silence. I got a 'tickle free' pass for three months. I tickled Prowl while he was working as payback for the Spy RS incident. Hey, at least the Twins got the name right. Lillian Wescott is an evil femme that you do not want to mess with during a base wide prank war. Prowl still hasn't forgiven me. I still say I win.

:Lose control

I love the way you do it 'cause you do it so crazy:

Author's note: I will continue with the whole alphabet. If you have any suggestions, please leave a review. You will be credited. Thank you for reading!