I don't know if it because it's been raining nonstop for the last 3 days or because the show took a dramatic turn this last few episodes but this turned out to be a bit "darker" than I intended.

I don't think I'll make it as continues story but I do have an idea for some chapters some of them will be a bit more happy and fun. Bring back the "heat" I'm craving for in a long time now.

But until then, I hope you enjoy this, and if you don't, then let me know!

Here we go…

Oh yes, I don't own any thing and well.. you know how it goes.

She knew he was staring at her. Not in the usual Castle kind of a stare, but more of a concern stare that made her uncomfortable and much more self aware.

She didn't want him to worry but she also couldn't pretend she wasn't sad. She felt like the walls are closing in on her but at the same time she felt furious. This time it's going to end differently. It has to be. And she needs to remember that through the storm of emotions she's facing at the moment.

She knew it's all about the little details. Finding the pieces and matching them together. But at this very moment her head was too overloaded with information that none of the pieces made sense. And he just wouldn't stop stare at her.

She got used to having him around to the point that when he wasn't there it felt almost wrong and sometimes even lonely.

Sharing her thoughts with him came to her as natural as breathing, some kind of an involuntary action she couldn't nor did she wanted to control.

But sharing her feelings with him, that she couldn't do. Sometimes he could tell how she felt without her needing to say a word, but most of the time he was clueless and she didn't had the emotional energy to deal with him right now. She had bigger more important things to deal with, and if anything, she's the kind of person who deals with things better on her own.

But the staring. What is she going to do about the staring?

She really didn't want him to feel bad, she liked seeing him smile. In the most darkest moment of her days, his smile was her solid anchor, the one thing she could rely on to always be there, the thing to remind her that there is a good side to people.

In any other day she would try to tease him out of his sadness, but today she couldn't see the full half of the glass. So she did the only thing she could. She stood up from her chair, grabbed her coat and said "good night Castle".

He looked at her, saw the familiar look on her face that indicated that the wheels in her head are doing over time and he wanted to scream. He wanted to shake her out of it but more than anything he wanted to hug her and promise her it will be alright.

He decided that for the first time in his life he's going to do what she asked him and stay away. He knew from the previous times they look into her mother case that this isn't like any other "normal" case they handled together. He can't just burst in and grill her for the information as he normally does, she need to let him in at her own terms and pace. He did that mistake once and there is no chance in hell he's doing that again.

So he did the only thing he could. He stared. And when she stood up he gave her a fake smile and said "good night".

For a second she hoped he wouldn't let her leave, that he would see in her eyes that she can't bare the silence any more, that it's only made her thoughts run wilder. That he'll force her to go to dinner with him or have a drink, that he will make some inappropriate comment that will make her smile, and that for a second, just one short second she'll forget. But he didn't, so she faked a smile back and walked away.

He stayed in his sit watching her leave, using all the willpower he could collect not to run after her. He will do what she asked. He will stay away. Well at list long enough to find a crack in the well build Becket wall to force himself through.

He sat there for a while, a part of him hoping she'll come back, a part knowing she wouldn't. As the clock turned nine he took his jacket and went home.

When he opened the door to the loft he could see Alexis and Martha in the kitchen working their ways through an ice cream tank and he couldn't help but smile. A warm feeling spread through his aching buddy.

He walked in silence to the kitchen and gave his daughter a huge hug, the kind he so desperately wanted to give to Kate but couldn't. For now, this will have to do.

Alexis was surprised by his sudden act and sneaked a questioning look to her grandmother who just gave her a knowing nod of encouragement.

When he finally released her and sat at the counter Alexis gave him a long examining look. "dad what's wrong?"

He took her spun and shoved a dangerous amount of ice cream to his mouth in a weak attempt to buy some time before he answer. Trying to clear all the concern from he's voice he gave her a smile. "Nothing honey". When he saw on her face that she's not so much as buying his innocent act he added while shoving more ice cream to he's mouth " what, I just executing my dady privilege to hug you as many time as I want. Can't blame me for that".

She still wasn't buying it so he took another spun of ice cream and cried when the brain freeze kicked in.

Martha felt the need to interfere before he hurt himself, or finish their ice cream which ever come sooner. "Really Richard. You are going to damage the last few sells left functioning in your head. Just tell the girl what's wrong".

"it's nothing. It's a case thing" he answered and despite the brain freeze and disapproving looks from both his daughter and he's mother he took another spoon of ice cream. After a second he added quietly "it's a Becket case thing".

When the realization of his word kicked in Martha turned around and grabbed another ice cream pack from the freezer.