Invisible
A Poem(?) by: Naomi Hunter.
How invisible am I to you?
Transparent? Translucent? Semi-opaque?
Nonexistent?
I love you, Dee.
I have since we first met.
Way back then.
I knew you were bisexual.
You told me.
I knew I was at least that after I met you.
I told you my feelings,
Hoping you wouldn't run away…
You didn't.
But…
You didn't respond the way I wanted either.
I see the way you look at him, Dee.
Ryo: quiet, coy, demure, sweet, caring, handsome, great body;
Blonde hair and dark eyes--
An
irresistible combination.I find it so easy to envy, even hate him.
Because he's what you want.
And that is
everything that I am not.I loved you; I still love you.
All this time.
I've tried to move on.
I
can't.I've
tried.I couldn't begin to count all of the men and women I've slept with,
Trying to feel just a fraction of what being with you does to me.
I
can't.I doubt you've told your precious Ryo this,
But he should know.
He should know how many times you used me.
You didn't care a bit about
me.Only my body.
You always said that my body was the only good part of me.
I tried everything to get you to notice me back then.
To notice
me.JJ.
Nor just my body.
I became a force sniper because of you, Dee.
I used to think:
'Hey, snipers
have to be good, they have to be the best',So that's what I strived for.
But, back in the Academy,
All you did was fuck me then brag about how either I stalked you,
Or how easy I was.
Lies.
But I could never hate you for them.
I love you far, far too much, Dee.
I do.
I may be one of the best now,
But it's no use,
I'll never be anything to you now,
Or anymore.
I'll never be anything but
Invisible.
[End.]
Pov of JJ. I pity him. Finished at 12:05 am. I'm probably overreacting about my suspicions about Dee not being as honest/innocent as he played when he talked w/ Ryo. But it makes for good angst. *grins* I still love Dee though.