~To whom this may concern, though I hope that, contrary to my belief of staying away from human contact, that this will be founded by her, by that girl, that farmer, who has shown me something far more than I could have ever imagined, though she does not need to know my thoughts, as she will be better without the company of a pitiful wizard,
~In all the past times since my existence, I have merely studied the surrounding universe, observing how each star and planet moves according to the supernatural laws of life, though I've no clue what life is, or if it even has any meaning. It is strange that I think to myself about how I came to be, how I am at this moment. Despite the powers I wield and my knowledge I've gained in the long, dull, unsettling centuries that have miserably passed by for me, I've yet to truly understand what it means to exist, and what purpose there is to this world. I would have thought, for having lingered for such a long period of time, I would have found the true meaning. Perhaps if I were to have a shorter life span like the humans, for they seem to enjoy themselves in the short time that they have before they age and wither away. Countless times, I've seen them, repeatedly born and raised into adulthood, populating the earth, and then fading away from life as others replace their stead. Too many times, I've seen them, constantly coming and going, though I choose not to interact with them nor make any contact with the humans, as I cannot find myself to belong in such a strange group of souls.
~And yet, I am starting to contradict in myself and my philosophies. Humans are fascinating and intelligent; to the point they may take a step further and eventually evolve into what I am. Their curiosity and ability to feel makes them an intriguing species. Especially in the case of this human girl, who calls herself 'Molly'. In the time of our first meeting, I had only seen her as another human, just like the countless ones who came before her. But something about this girl makes her quite persistent. I understand humans are stubborn and prideful at times, always striving to achieve their goals and desires, whether their hearts were intentions of good or evil. She had been, I believe humans called it, 'visiting' me from time to time. She would talk about herself, her human past, and her desires. She would always ask me who I was and about my past, though I could not answer her, as I, myself, am clueless. Calculating in a human's lifespan, she had been 'visiting' for a total period of one year, three months, twelve days, two hours, eighteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds. I rather not speak of what we have conversed during her 'visits', but she had been around me much, familiarizing herself with my works and my presence. She's even asked me to attend to their human festivals, in what the humans would call, a date. Many times, I've declined, as I dare not approach the humans. Molly is fascinating, always stubborn like the rest of her kind, wanting to get what she desires. Always, she persisted in me to, what she calls, socialize. In the times she 'visited', I was always uncomfortable around her. I was afraid to admit it, and I would always put myself in denial, but the fact was, I was afraid. Never have I seen a human show such compassion towards another being that was non-human, like myself. And yet, I was afraid, always trying to push her away. I didn't want to admit it, but I was growing fond of the human girl. It is such a strange feeling, yet a comforting one, like the light of the sun rays appearing during the middle of the winter season, as you sit and bask in the warmth of the sun while you feel the chill of the cold air in your breath. Such a strange feeling that my notes and works could not even describe. It has bothered me and kept me rather irritated as I continued to study her and these strange feelings. With each day I met her, I was able to find more answers from her. And then, I was soon able to come up with a conclusion, such a simple answer that I've known for ages, but never applied it into any of my works. It is what the humans call 'love'.
~But I, however, found myself too late in finding the answer. By the time I had discovered 'love', she had given herself to the young, wealthy man, the son of the mayor. In the end, I made her realize that humans and immortal beings can never truly be happy, as in the end of their lifespan, they will be separated. She persisted, but I could only give her a cold, silent treatment. She had disavowed me, breaking away from all contacts, just as how I have broken away from human contact for centuries until she arrived. Ever since she has stopped 'visiting', I have felt this strange pain inside my body, somewhere around the upper left chest. It feels as if someone has reached inside my body, grabbing the hallow cardiac muscle inside my chest, and squeezing ever so tightly in an icy cold grip. I feel as if it would burst everytime my thoughts fell upon her. The pain is usually followed by liquid secretion that forms in my eyes. I did not understand what these symptoms were, and it frustrated me to no end, and only provoking the pain in my chest further. I have done extensive research, using human knowledge, when I found that these things were called 'heartaches', common in the human nature when they do not get their wish. Since then, I have not stopped my research of finding out what this 'love' was. It is such a deep mystery. Even the galaxies and stars have their mass and definite shapes, allowing me to clearly see what they are. But this 'love', this strange human emotion, has no definition, no logical explanation. But I can only conclude that the human girl, Molly, maybe the closest thing that I can relate to love. She was the closest thing I have found as a meaning to life, a real purpose of living.
~I only wish I would have known sooner. Perhaps I have been isolated from the world for far too long. Perhaps the only chance I had of knowing what it is to feel, to live and love, was of this Molly. But it is too late; I have made my choices rashly and hesitantly, and the opportunity is now gone. Never, in all of my existence, have I felt such emotion that is too much to bear. I can only hope that if I still remain, I may find another answer, another human whose passion was as great as hers. Until then, I shall linger in my lonely days, just like I have always done, as I continue to find purpose in this life, and this 'love'. And maybe, I might be the one to do the 'visiting'.
~signed, Gale.
This is something I came up with from the top of my head, so if it seems rather unorganized, sloppy, and difficult to read, then I apologize. However, I wrote this at a time I was depressed, so my mind wasn't exactly in a state of critical thinking. Who knew girls were such a hassle, but I'm sure its something every man, and woman, has experienced. I suppose the only thing we can do is take the blow, suck it up, and soldier on; ain't nobody got time to be sad. Time spent wishing is time wasting. I recommend listening to Goo Goo Doll's 'Iris' while reading this. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this. Until next time, take care.
