Note to the reader: The following passage is best read with an epic, intense internal voice that takes itself way too seriously. I suggest that you think of Gibby. On steroids.
Who am I? Do you really want to know? My story's not for the feint of heart.
Or for those who faint easily. What nub thought up that sappy monologue? You wanna know who I am? I'm GIBBY! Done. Game over.
I wake up every morning and I'm all like, Yeah, let's do this. So that's what happens. I get up and do it. I don't use an alarm. Don't need one. I just get up, you know what I'm sayin'?
So after I get up, I go to the kitchen and eat some breakfast. I eat toast for breakfast. Why? 'Cause I'm Gibby. I don't put my plate away. I don't use a plate. I just eat.
After I eat, I go back up to my cave, on the second floor. I listen to some amazing tunes for a bit and surf the 'net. I only check out the cool websites. When I'm done doing that, I put on some clothes and go outside. I ride the bus to school. I don't drive there myself. I let someone else do it for me.
I sit in the back of the bus. There's always a seat for me there. Why? There just is. Everyone wants to sit next to me, but I don't let them. I just chill out in my seat and look out the window. There's always good stuff when I look out the window.
When I get to school, I hit the halls. And I hit 'em hard. It's like, BAM! Hurricane Gibby. One time I hit them so hard, Mr. Howard peed his pants. Five times. He had to be hospitalized!
You understand who you're talking to now?
Once I hit the halls, I take it down a notch and go for a stroll. I only talk to the chicks when I'm strollin'. Sometimes, I talk to my boy Freddie Benson. He's not a chick, but he's not man enough for me to worry about.
Next, I go to my locker and get my books. I go to class when I feel like it. Only when I feel like it. School's for fools. I'm supposed to learn, but the teachers ask me the questions. Not that they could teach me. I'm GIBBY. So I teach them instead. I've already taught Ms. Briggs, Mr. Howard and Mr. Henning. I'm still working on Principal Franklin. I've had to teach that guy every year. What a slow learner. They should get him tested.
So I sit through my classes, and once my teachers are done boring me I go to lunch. I don't make my lunch. I buy it. As I get my chow, I chat up the lunch lady. She thinks she's too old for me, but I think different. She's mine after I graduate.
I talk to all the kids at lunch. If they deserve it, I take my shirt off for them. I don't do it for losers. I don't even talk to losers. If they try, I end them. Completely. Even Waldo would be easier to find.
After lunch, I go back to class. When I feel like it. When I don't, I ditch early and go to the Groovy Smoothie. Which smoothie do I get? Whichever one I want. Sometimes I get smoothies after school with Carly, Sam and Freddie. Mine always taste the best.
Once all that is done, I walk home. I don't take the bus home. I get there myself. When I get home, I hit my punching bag. I don't take drinks when I hit the bag.
I take a shower next. My showers are mind-blowing. After my mind is blown, I play video games online. I always win at video games. Sometimes I get so bored winning, I lose instead. No one can beat me when I lose. Guppy tried to once, and the next day he stopped growing. Not even the doctor could fix it.
I think you get the point. I don't feel like telling you about the rest of my day. You couldn't handle it. But there's one last thing. It's about when I finish playing video games. The best girl in the world comes to my house. That's right. My mom comes home. Best mom in the world. When we team up, you couldn't even describe it. She thinks I'm awesome. Why?
Cause I'm GIBBY!
Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.