He wanted to say he had plans.
It was Saturday night, and Kyle wanted to say that there was something he was going to do. He didn't think of himself as the party-type. He couldn't go out with a bunch of his friends and get wasted, or pretend to be enjoying a blunt when he'd rather be at home finishing his copy of Crime and Punishment. Really, he'd be fine with lack of interaction, even though his friend Stan loved the lime light and would get it with Kenny every chance they got. Kyle wanted to be a part of what his best friend was part of, but he just wasn't interested.
So why was he taking a shower at ten in the evening and wishing that he was?
The redhead threw a towel around his waist as he walked half-naked into his bedroom, listening to his younger brother play Call of Duty in the other room. Even Ike would normally be out during the weekends, but it looked like they were both stuck. Kyle glanced at his phone on the bed and noticed that Stan messaged him.
'you're really missing out;)'
Kyle didn't think so.
When he deleted that message and starting drying his hair, he heard his ringtone go off and he glanced back at his phone, almost choking at the address. The royal fatass's contact picture filled his screen, and Kyle sighed. Cartman had been hanging out with him more since they started high school, but he didn't really change that much. The only thing that was different was that they both got taller, even though Cartman was still a little shorter than him. Regardless, they still fought and they still got insanely pissed at one another just for sneaking a glance.
But Kyle knew that things had been awkward since the last time Cartman was over, and he didn't want to admit he stayed up all night thinking about the way his lips felt, or the way those hands pushed at his hips.
They were both gay. Kyle had been out for a few years, but he knew Cartman was still in the closet. He actually should say that Cartman was bisexual, since he showed an interest in girls, especially during middle school, but he knew him. He knew that Cartman really preferred men, since all he would talk about was dicks and balls. Kyle wondered if the fatass thought about his balls, and he grew pale. The point of the matter was, Cartman snuck a kiss the other night, and Kyle let him. He let the boy play around with him and experiment his mouth and tongue, and even though it felt amazing, Kyle couldn't believe somebody like Cartman would take a chance with someone like him.
It would never work out.
Kyle let his phone ring three times before caving, bringing it to his ears and trying to sound as indifferent as possible.
"What do you want?"
He heard Cartman laugh as though the answer was obvious.
"Get your stuff. I'll be there in ten minutes."
Kyle heard the click on the other end and pulled the phone away, more confused than at the aspect of the boy calling him in the first place. Cartman would do something like this, making plans without Kyle's convenience, but he learned to get used to it. He wasn't going to do anything else, so Kyle sighed and grabbed his hat and bag, waiting until a truck pulled by his house. Cartman got his own truck after negotiating with this random Mexican man a year ago, but when Kyle asked for details, he just said that it was a pain in the ass and he'd never do something like that again.
"I should be pissed that you assumed I wasn't busy, but considering you never question your assumptions, what else is new?" Kyle pulled on his jacket and hopped shotgun into Cartman's truck, and the brunette just scoffed as he pulled out of the driveway.
"Nice to see you too, Jew."
"We're a little too old for the nicknames, aren't we?" Kyle muttered, eyeing the black jacket Cartman was wearing over his red shirt and hating himself for finding it hot. "Where are you taking me?"
"We should just let it be a surprise." Cartman grinned, coming into an intersection. Kyle rolled his eyes and leaned in, eyebrows narrowed.
"Where are you taking me?"
"We could sneak into a movie." Cartman commented, a suggestive tone rather than a commanding one that took Kyle by surprise. "Terrance and Philip's new movie is out."
Kyle was tempted, but he had already seen that with Stan and he didn't feel like seeing it again. Plus, Cartman would just talk during the whole movie and Kyle knew he could barely take a few sentences in tolerance.
"You would suggest sneaking into a movie, probably because you don't have the money to get in."
"Hey, I actually have a kickass job, Jewboy. I help society with good deeds and commercial products."
"You're a grocer, Cartman." Kyle sighed. "All you do is stock shit and put things under a beeper."
"And what do you do, Kyle? Flaunt your pretty little ass and let your family pay for all of your shit?" Cartman reached for what Kyle assumed was a Dr. Pepper in the cupholder and took a drink. Kyle flushed a little at what seemed to be a compliment, but he flicked Cartman on the arm and the brunette hissed. Some things really were worth the pain with this guy.
"And I barely have to do any work." Kyle chucked. "Okay, but really, what are we gonna do?"
"Holy shit." Cartman gasped and turned with a huge grin. "Let's go to Dave and Buster's!"
"D&B? Really?" Kyle said, wincing slightly as Cartman honked at another driver who took what would have been his right-of-way. He sent an annoying glance as the other boy flipped his middle finger.
"Come on dude, don't do that."
"When we get there I will totally knock your ass out with bowling, because I have mad skill." Cartman ignored Kyle's statement entirely and took the right turn to head towards the highway.
Kyle didn't have any complaints, as it would be a good time, but the idea of Cartman actually beating him in anything made him amused. It was a lot smoother of a ride than he had originally anticipated, expecting awkward silences and questioning what happened that night. He expected the cliché, 'Why did you do that?' or 'You do realize this changes things between us?' But instead it was the same as it had been. Kyle wasn't sure if he wanted things to stay the same or not, considering he wasn't sure how to feel about Cartman. Did he like him? Did he want things to escalate between the both of them?
Eventually, they reached the building that Dave and Buster's was a part of, and Cartman parked his truck. He joked about how someone from his work apparently got the high score on Fruit Ninja and how he didn't believe him, but Kyle was barely paying attention besides eyeing that damn jacket. Even though Cartman was still chubby as fuck, he was fitting more into his weight, and it was apparent to Kyle that he had a type and he hated himself for it.
As expected, they first played bowling, ordering a medium pizza for the two of them to share as they got their shoes. Kyle set up the game, labeling them as FATASS and JEW because it sent a little shiver of warmth down his spine as seeing those names in bold letters on the screens. Cartman took his turn first, spending forever looking at the pins as though he was really trying at something.
"Go, dude." Kyle groaned at how long his friend took, and he almost screamed as Cartman looked back and smirked before placing the ball on the ground and barely pushing it down the aisle.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kyle yelled, and Cartman laughed loudly, attracting all eyes from the other games. Kyle got up and lightly punched Cartman in the arm as they waited a solid minute the ball to reach the pins and lightly knock one down.
"Serves you right." Kyle smiled, his eyes lighting up at the opportunity. "I thought you said you were going to knock my ass out, with your mad skill."
"I was only prepping, my dear Jew." Cartman grabbed another ball. "Just giving you the headstart, plus it was fucking hilarious how pissed you got."
"Go." Kyle was growing irritated, but he couldn't help finding the possessive language endearing. Cartman actually was pretty good at bowling, even though Kyle had to admit to himself that he hadn't played the game in a few months so he was fairly rusty. He wondered if Cartman took the time to play here with other guys, and he asked himself why something like that was so important to him. It didn't matter what Cartman did in his free time when he wasn't with him. Cartman had other friends, such as Kyle.
But it made him hate himself a little more for letting that affect him.
When they finished their round, Cartman won by fifteen points, and Kyle flipped him off as Cartman made a huge scene of winning.
"Before we leave, I want a rematch." Kyle stated as they turned their shoes back in, and Cartman shrugged.
"If you say so. Hey, let's go play Guitar Hero!" Cartman took Kyle's wrist and dragged him over to the other side of the game room, even as Kyle tried pulling away. They encountered a couple of other guys who were there playing already, both of them looked to be their age but Kyle didn't recognize them from their school. Cartman hissed as they had just finished a song and were trying to find another one.
"Hey, let us play, fuckers."
"Cartman."
One of the two boys turned and snickered. "We were here first, dumbass. Go run off and find the ball pit, or something."
"What was that, you piece of shit?" Cartman said, turning and facing him. "You wanna go?"
"Why don't you go against him, Steven?" The other boy of the two suggested, and his friend laughed.
"Sure, why not. Alright, you fat piece of shit, grab that guitar and if you leave, we will leave you and your boyfriend alone."
"He's not my – "Kyle and Cartman started saying simultaneously, before the other boy thrusted his guitar into Cartman's hands.
"Right. Well, if he isn't your boyfriend, that means it's all up for me, right?" The boy whose name was Steven smirked towards Kyle and winked and the redhead wanted to run to the nearest bathroom and throw up. He definitely was not his type, and his appearance made him look so gross. Cartman groaned and
So, Cartman chose Through the Fire and Flames because of course he did, and of course they chose Expert and Kyle wanted to laugh. Cartman wouldn't last half of the song before his fingers would give out. Kyle couldn't even get full percent on that song, no matter how much he practiced.
They both started out fairly strong, getting a large amount of notes, and as Kyle predicted Cartman was starting to slack as Steven was keeping up.
"Goddammit," Cartman mumbled as the second chorus passed and one of the better parts of the song came up. He was starting to really not do so good, now.
"Give me that," Kyle said, and Cartman didn't do anything at first, but he passed the guitar to his friend and the redhead instantly jumped in and grabbed all of the notes flawlessly. He wasn't perfect, but he didn't get a large amount of what was coming towards him, and Steven was struggling.
"Come on dude," Steven's friend encouraged, and Cartman cheered from the back.
"Kick his ass, Kyle!"
Eventually, other people came around and watched the two boys battle in song, and once the ending came around, Kyle finished Steven with a powerup he was holding specifically for last chorus. He tilted his guitar up and Steven was done.
"Oh my God, dude seriously?" Steven sighed. "You're better than I thought. Looks like there's more to you than meets the eye." Kyle rolled his eyes at the suggestive comment, and Cartman stepped in, pointing towards him.
"Deal's a deal, shithead. Give us the guitars and leave him alone."
"You're so caring," Steven grinned, as his friend passed the other guitar. "You're lucky that he even associates himself with you, Cartman. Yeah, I know who you are, and I know the shit you've done. If he was a smart kid, he'd get away from you as soon as possible."
"Shut the fuck up before I really do something I don't want to do." Cartman yelled, and Kyle stepped between them, obviously angered this was even happening.
"Okay, that's enough. If you honestly feel the right to say that kind of shit, then what good is it staying here? Come on, Cartman let's go play something else."
Kyle and Cartman walked away, and even as Kyle mentioned they should play billards, Cartman didn't say anything, only glared towards the floor as though it was on fire.
It read 2:03 on the radio clock in the car, and Kyle was almost shocked how fast the night seemed to pass. Kyle wanted to say something on the way back home, but Cartman's persistence on the road in front of them was too distracting. Cartman had been too quiet for Kyle's liking, only muttering a few words as Kyle beat him in billards, or with their last round of bowling. The redhead sighed, glancing out the window and noticing specks of snow on the glass. It had been colder than it had been for the past few days, but this was Colorado, and autumn evenings were this typical.
"You wanna turn on music?" Kyle mentioned, reaching for the knob as Cartman simply nodded. He was really getting irritating now, clicking on the button as some alternative rock came on. Kyle recognized this station, it was his favorite, which was a mix between alternative and classic rock. There was some Barenaked Ladies song on, and Kyle hummed with the melody as he drummed his fingers on the leather underneath the window.
"I love this song."
"It's fine, I guess." Cartman muttered. "Why is it with your taste in music, this is predictable?"
Kyle smiled at the chance of a batter, as he turned the volume up louder. "This song is like, their most popular track ever."
"It sucks." Cartman sighed, reaching and hitting the channel button. There was some Lady Gaga song that came out, and Cartman whistled.
"This is what I'm talking about."
"Dude!" Kyle switched it back, glaring. "I was listening to that!"
"Lady Gaga is changing the world, Kahl. Your little boy bands will have to wait."
"Fuck you." Kyle groaned as Cartman changed it back, and the brunette braked as they were getting closer to their houses. There was a moment of silence as the song finished, and after a few commercials, another some came on, which was a request. It was a song Kyle couldn't remember the name of, but he knew his mom would always play it when he was a child. Cartman drummed his fingers against the wheel as the light turned back green.
"Tell me more, tell me more…" Cartman sang along, as he started driving again. Kyle glanced at the other boy as he sang, noticing that he did have a good voice.
Kyle felt it grow silent again except for the song, but he didn't look away as Cartman continued. He seemed fixated on the way his voice could sound so deep, resonating…
"Do you want to go somewhere else?" It was almost a whisper, a plead that was so unlike Cartman but was so needed in this moment. Kyle relaxed into his chair, not even feeling tired but wanting so desperately to find a purpose of this night.
"Sure."
Cartman parked by a spot in the mountains that the boys would go to all the time when they were younger. It was by the mountains, and Kyle waited as Cartman went to the back of his truck and pulled some stuff out. It was a few cans of beer, and a couple of blankets. Kyle wanted to asked why he had that stuff there, as if it was on purpose, but he didn't question it. When Cartman set the blankets up, he passed a beer towards Kyle, who joined him and sat down.
"It's fucking cold." Kyle muttered, and Cartman snickered.
"Didn't pack for appropriate weather?"
"I had no clue we would be here." Kyle said, and he watched as Cartman started moving like he was considering taking off his jacket, but he changed his mind. He had to laugh to himself at the thought of Cartman doing something like that for somebody else.
"Drink your alcohol, Jew." Cartman commented, opening his can and starting. Kyle looked at the drink in his eyes and just shrugged, not really caring at this point whether it was for his good or not.
There was another moment of silence as they just sat there, looking out at the town of South Park. Where they were provided a good view, and Kyle relaxed, sighing.
"I could never get tired of this."
"I could." Cartman replied, and Kyle glanced back, confused.
"What do you mean?"
"I hate this place. Everybody here tries to tear you down, and you won't get anywhere if you stay here."
"You're just saying that." Kyle suggested. "Most things that have happened in the past have been because of your choices."
"My choices?" Cartman was starting to get angry, glaring with a fierceness thatKyle hadn't seen for some time. "Kyle, the people here are fucking idiots. Trust me, it's not just me."
"Just think of everything that has happened between us, Cartman. Everywhere you go, it's going to be just like it is here. People are going to act crazy no matter what, it's not an individual thing."
"There's something about this place that's fucked up, and I'm not staying to find out." Cartman tightened his grip on the can in his hand. "I'm moving east."
"East?"
"I want to do something with my life, Kyle. I want to be a part of something bigger, and this hell hole isn't going to stop me."
"How does changing towns have anything to do with it, Cartman? You can still do something bigger just from being here." Kyle sighed as Cartman didn't say anything after.
"Whatever you do, I hope it's for the best." Kyle said. Cartman turned towards him with this look in his eye that Kyle couldn't explain, a bitterness that he could see but couldn't comprehend.
Kyle wouldn't mind moving to a different state, but he'd always think of South Park as his home. There were too many good memories from this place that he couldn't just shove them to the side for the sake of wanting something more out of his life. He couldn't see Cartman's point of this, only from the fact that he had it worse than Kyle had. He did admit Cartman's life was fucked up. His mom still wasn't on the best terms with her son, and from what Cartman had told him, it didn't sound like it would improve from his stand. Did he even want things to be better? Kyle wasn't sure.
"Moving would probably be the best for me, regardless." Cartman glanced back towards the horizon. "It'd take a thorn out of your side."
A thorn out of my side?
"What are you talking about now?"
"Just admit it, Kyle." Cartman was beginning to become restless. "If I were to go away, like if I were to pack all of my stuff and just leave after graduation, you wouldn't care."
"…are you already drunk?" Kyle couldn't believe the shit coming out of his mouth. Does this boy not have any kind of filter?
"Right now, you would say you would care, because that's the kind of person you are, but if I were gone, you would still have the others." Cartman looked at the sky, trying poorly to hide the fact he was shaking. "You don't need me here."
"You can't…" Kyle closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to keep his temper in check. "You're seriously not thinking about what that asshole said earlier at Buster's, are you?"
Cartman didn't say anything, so Kyle took that as a yes.
"Why are you even taking what he said personally?" Kyle asked, moving in closer. "You know he was just saying that shit to get to you."
"Well, it worked." It almost sounded more defeated than angry, as Cartman was trying to make it out to be. Kyle's eyes widened, and he shook his head lightly.
"Cartman, you know that I would care." Kyle said, trying to avoid any eye contact. "I know that we haven't had the best times together…"
"Understatement of the fucking century."
"But I still know that there is good in you. I've told you that how many times?" Kyle smiled, remembering all of the times Cartman would do something because he felt it was the right thing to do.
"I need another beer." Cartman grabbed another can and opened it, before throwing the other, empty can out into the snow. Kyle rolled his eyes before standing up and grabbing it.
"I can't stand you sometimes, you know." Kyle said.
As Kyle sat back down, he looked up and noticed the stars. There were a lot of noticeable constellations tonight. He wondered how Stan and Kenny were doing, if they were taking the beauty of the stars in consideration with their own drunken bliss.
Cartman laid down, setting his hands behind his head.
"How would you feel?"
"Huh?" Kyle asked, and Cartman sighed. It was probably hard for him to be able to say these kinds of things.
"If I were to just move away, and not come back."
There was nothing said, as Kyle brought his knees to his chest, Cartman looked at him now, and Kyle couldn't tear his gaze away. He had so many different ways of saying his answer, but he couldn't pick just one to use. Was he asking to come to terms with…whatever this was? Instead, Kyle blinked, and laid down as well.
"You know how I applied at Yale a few months ago?" Kyle whispered, and Cartman leaned on an elbow and narrowed his eyebrows.
"Kyle?"
"I got accepted…and I think I'm going to go." He looked at Cartman and tried to see what the other boy was thinking. There wasn't a clear sign, only a distorted expression of confusion and bitterness.
"When did you find out?"
"A week ago." Kyle replied, and Cartman turned and looked at his feet. Kyle didn't think he'd respond with anything else than, 'who cares?' but here he was, actually caring about something that didn't even have to do with him.
"How you feel…that's my answer." Kyle said, and Cartman shook even more, looking back.
"Kyle."
"It's not really set in stone, but I talked about it with my mom and dad and they are supportive of me going. It's a good school, and considering I want to go into law…"
"You're just going to go? What happened to what you were just saying, you don't want to stay here?"
Kyle started to glare at Cartman's tone. What was his problem?
"You just said this town was a shit hole."
"Well, yeah for me, but not for you! Fuck, Kyle."
"Then what do you want me to do?" Kyle yelled. "Stay here just for your own sake?"
"Yes." Cartman said and Kyle watched in shock as Cartman turned his body away. The redhead felt his heart be still as he heard this affirmation, and he moved closer, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Cartman. Even if I go away, you know it's not a permanent thing."
"That's what everybody says, and then it doesn't fucking matter. They meet other people, find a better place there…"
"So what, you were just going to go to the East and do the same thing you just said? You're such a hypocrite, Cartman!"
"Don't tell me what I am or how I should feel, Jew!" Cartman yelled, and Kyle spotted his watery eyes and he sighed. He was really going to cry over this.
"Cartman…I'm sorry. But this is something I feel like I need to do, for me, but you know that I could never forget you, even if I leave."
Cartman turned back to Kyle with wide eyes and smiled lightly. Maybe that was the answer Kyle should have given from the beginning, but he didn't care. He squeezed Cartman's shoulder, as his hand was still there, and Cartman responded by moving closer and grabbing Kyle chin between his thumb and his finger.
"You know I care about you."
"Yes." Kyle responded, and Cartman was breathing harder now. He actually was thinking about what to say?
"And something fucked up tells me you care about me, too."
"Obviously." Kyle looked from Cartman's lips back to his blue eyes. "Why wouldn't I care about you, fatass?"
"Fuck." Cartman bit his lower lip and leaned in, planting a firm kiss on Kyle's lips, leaning in and encouraging Kyle to reciprocate. The redhead closed his eyes, knowing this was how it was the other night, but it actually felt genuine this time. He ran his tongue against Cartman's lower lip, and was granted entrance, deepening the kiss as his hand went from the other boy's shoulder down his arm, covered by that jacket he liked so much. Cartman sighed as they separated, bringing a hand to his eyes and wiping away anything that was there. Kyle smiled.
"God, you're so sensitive." He laughed as Cartman flipped him off. He reached for a beer and leaned his body into Cartman's arms, basically settling himself into his lap.
"I waited a while for that." Cartman said, and Kyle looked at him with a spark in his eyes.
"Really?"
"Since late elementary school." The brunette was amused at Kyle's baffling gaze, but he didn't say anything else as Kyle shrugged.
"Well, a part of me knew, honestly."
"I was pretty obvious."
"You were. Now, do you want to get back into your truck? It's freezing and honestly I'd love to get a little warmer." Kyle tried to sound suggestive, but he didn't think Cartman got the hint because as they got back into the truck, it took the entire drive home before they even kissed again. Kyle knew he'd have to talk about school again at another point, or even the point of their relationship, but for now, he didn't care about any of that, because Cartman was still in his life. His life had always been about himself, but now he knew there was a part of his life he could give to somebody else.
Maybe he'd have something to do on Saturdays from now on, after all.
A/N: Hey, guys. Thanks for reading the story! The title is based on the song, "Satellite," by the Dave Matthews Band, and it's one of my favorite songs as of late. Anyways, please feel free to leave any comments or feedback, and thanks again!