There was no Stork: Ratbat is bored, young, and easily traumatized, so the cassette twins make no effort to spare him any of the details when he asks where he came from. Mentions of Shockwave/Soundwave. G1.

Disclaimer: if only, if only, the plot bunny sings.

Image: soundwave the greatest DJ by Xetoset

Rating: teen for mature themes

…

Ratbat was hanging from the rafters of Soundwave's room, his head tilted as he watched the rest of his cassette siblings stare at a fleshing television show, completely oblivious that he was awake.

It had been slow around the Nemesis for the past two weeks, mostly because the space bridge had been damaged and they were short on supplies. So, once the bridge was repaired, Megatron would be making a short trip to Shockwave's labs to get supplies, and he was dragging a few mechs with him to improve the odds of getting all of those supplies back to the base. Soundwave, who was allowed to go for the first time in a long time, was for one reason or another uncharacteristically happy with the situation. Well, he seemed normal to everyone else, but the cassettes could tell.

Regardless, that wasn't what the youngest cassette's attention was on. It was the movie. Apparently, there was some sort of sparkling reaching maturity in it. She was bleeding and now was crying to her father that she was dying. He didn't get it … he saw no wounds on her? She had not been physically attacked either. Humans were strange creatures.

"Thank Primus Ratbat hasn't asked 'The Question' yet," mocked Rumble as he elbowed his brother. "Laserbeak's lens is still broken and I want to tape the Boss's reaction when he asks."

The two twins snickered and Ravage merely gave them the look before continuing her bored gaze at the television feed. Megatron really didn't care if they had cable, as long as it was stolen.

"What question?"

The three siblings suddenly tightened when a voice squeaked in the back of their minds.

The first thing to happen was Ravage growling as she glared at the twins, saying with her glare, 'if you like your limbs, you'll shut it'. The two twins stared at her for a moment before they threw a look over their shoulder at their youngest sibling, an evil grin on each of their faces.

"Why the greatest question ever!" said Rumble, keeping an optic on the seriously peeved cat to their left.

The flying transformer perked up, excitement sparkling in his optics before he asked in awe, "W-what question?"

A growl escaped Ravage, but the two twins ignored her threatening manner.

"Well, duh. Where sparklings come from," said Frenzy as he gained a guarded position, ready for an attack by the cat-fromer.

A squeak of surprise escaped Ratbat, but that sound was quickly drowned out by the cries of the twins as Ravage rose to her feet a pounced on the two of them. For a moment, there was nothing but hissing and screaming. Then the next thing the poor flier knew, the three of them rolled out of the room as the door slid automatically open. The hissing and yipping continued for a moment or two before the twin terrors ran back into the room, locking the door behind them.

Ignoring the clawing noise coming from the other side of the room, the twins placed themselves back on their couch and patted for the youngster to come and sit with them. After a moment of hesitation, Ratbat landed on the back of the metallic couch, his optics full of wonder.

"Where do they come from?"

Rumble and Frenzy looked at each and then the television show before blurting out, "Why the stork, of course."

The flier tilted his head and stared at the two in disbelief, so the twins continued.

"You see, the stork puts sparklings in a sack and then flies to whoever is getting the sparkling and leaves it at their doorstep, abandoning it to whatever poor sucker happens to be there," said Frenzy, a laugh threatening to escape him. "Why do you think you have so many siblings? It wasn't because Soundwave needed more cassettes; it's just that the stork had it out for him."

Ratbat's optics got wider and he couldn't help but stumble, "S-so I might not be the youngest for much longer?"

The two twins seemed surprised for a moment. They hadn't even been heading in that direction, but it seemed the youth had a better idea than they were heading for. They were just going to drag out the stork lie for a few more minutes. Then, once that fun was fulfilled, traumatize the youngster by dragging him into the vents to peek into various rooms where they knew action was going on; afterward, the twins would then tell the youngest that he should ask Soundwave for battle tactics when dealing with these types of situations.

No, this would be so much better. The two hadn't played a prank on their Master for a few vorns and succeeded; mind reading and all. But Ratbat didn't get that it was a joke so their creator wouldn't even suspect. All they could hope for was that the youngster asked when other mechs were around or, even better, in a battle when there might be real storks around.

Oh happy days, but first they needed to lay out a proper plan.

"Maybe … maybe not," said Rumble, throwing a wicked glance over at his brother who returned the grin, the two scooting in closer to their newest victim. "It all matters if you please the stork enough or not."

…

Soundwave stood still for a moment, trying to discern what the frag was going on. He had felt that malevolent feeling that the twin always get before a problem … plus, Ratbat seemed happy. He could swear that those two were trying to kill the youngest of his creations, talk about sibling rivalry issues. Soundwave, personally, would never understand it.

But, now, that was the farthest thing in his mind. He had stepped out of the war room and he couldn't help but still as something crackled underfoot. He just stood there, his optics glued on the floor. He-he didn't know what to the think.

"Shut the door," growled Starscream, his wings shifting slightly as they tasted the draft coming in from the open door.

Soundwave didn't shut the door though; he still couldn't look away from the floor. His logic centers just didn't get it. Not that he got to question the issue much longer when a grey being fell into the edge of his vision. Megatron was staring at his feet as well, confusion covering his face quickly.

"What the frag?" growled the warlord. "Why are these organic, dead, vegetation bits all over the floor?"

"Correction: Its seeds. Usually for feeding livestock or birds," said the Communications Officer as he cocked his head in wonder.

"What? Seeds? What the slag are they doing on the floor?" asked the being as he threw a glare down each hall, looking for the culprit. Seeing no one, Megaton's engine merely growled. He grumbled to himself for a moment as to why he put up with this crap.

Then, with one last growl of his vents, a roar rose from his throat, "SKYWARP!"

…

For some reason, Soundwave doubted that it had been the flier. Generally, the trickster would be the one to do such dumb slag, but it was too messy and contained no purpose. Skywarp's pranks generally had some type of victim in mind, but this seemed almost purposeless. Not that he was going to dwell on it. He had to worry about the twins and Ratbat. That feeling was still there, but the twins seemed to have calmed down which meant only one thing: Rumble and Frenzy were done torturing their youngest sibling, and the youngest was probably now bleeding out.

And mechs wondered why he was so good at medical repairs.

Soon, his room door looming in front of him, the mech just stepped through, sigh ready on his vents when the next thing he knew he was showered in … seeds.

The older being stood there a moment, the seeds that were still trickling down his body making soft almost-musical sounds as they hit the floor. He immediately thought it was the twins, but the next thing he knew he heard a small squeak from above his head. He quickly threw a glare, ready to command the twins to clean up this mess, but he went silent. Soundwave just stared for a minute, not sure what to think as he looked up at Ratbat.

"Intrigue: what are you doing, youngling?" stated the Communication's Officer in a softer voice.

Ratbat squeaked, flying down from his perch to land on his creator's shoulder. Then, with a shy feeling, the youngest spoke through the bond, "Rumble and Frenzy said that I could get the stork to come this way with a new sparkling for a sibling."

Yes … and there it was. The twins finally managed to pull a prank on him … by making Ratbad do it.

For a moment, Soundwave was still. He was going to keep them in his chest for a month so they couldn't traumatize Ratbat again. Really, a flying fowl with long legs … what a stupid idea. There would be no way for it to carry extra weight of a baby of almost any species and defiantly not a sparkling. Nonetheless, humans were strange and the damage had been done. Perhaps it was time for the … talk.

Ugh … maybe he should make Ravage do this.

"So … baby mechs aren't brought by the stork?" asked Ratbat a few minutes later as he looked up into his creator's optics, the larger mech twitchy from the whole discussion.

Soundwave shook his head, "Negative: they are created when two mechs –or a mech and a femme- join their sparks after opening their chassis and revealing their spark chamber so that the two sparks can physically join. Only sparkmates open their spark chambers completely."

Ratbat looked down at the ground and then looked back up, his optics bright, "Can I have a little brother than? After you mate with … uh?"

"Shockwave is my spark-mate and your partial creator, and the answer is no."

…

Rumble and Frenzy entered the control room to the space bridge a few days later, a laugh on their lips. It had gotten around the base, twice, that Ratbat had asked Soundwave to get knocked up. Skywarp had had a fake 'baby shower' shortly after which got him a collection of Ravage claw marks down his entire form, and Megatron had taken the Cassette Rack aside and spoken to him personally on the matter; telling him if he was going to 'reproduce' again, he better not have twins.

Yet, it was only known to the cassettes that Ratbat still hadn't given up on his pursuit of having a younger sibling, the youth trying to convince his creator to go to Cybertron every time a spare moment was offered. Personally, Soundwave was getting sick of it…

Perhaps he should go to Cybertron just to get away from the idiocy that seemed to breed around the base. Maybe he could see his sparkmate for something more than a casual conversation. Yes, he would do that, but he had to make sure that he didn't get knocked up. Megatron would be most displeased. So he had to make sure Shockwave, the sex depraved mech that he had become, pulled out before…

"Oh … frag," was all Shockwave could say a few hours later as he pulled out of the other's chassis a little too late, looking down into Soundwave's spark chamber and the small spark now nestled there against the larger one.

Soundwave could only sigh and slap his forehead, maybe the twins were right about the stork being out to get him.

Frag… at least Ratbat would stop pestering him.

XXX

Paw07: I just loved this idea, it feels a little choppy in scene length but it's been in my files for about two years now and I just wanted to finish it. So short scenes it is… but the idea is still cute. Yes, I used to be fond of Soundwave/Shockwave.