A/N: From the episode 'A man walks into a bar...'; I took into consideration what Ziva said... And hopefully, this ends up right, for once :)) Reviews are appreciated. Please and thank you!
"I want something... Permanent - something that wont be taken away. Is that too much to ask?"
The doctor got her talking. And dammit, the truth really hurt like hell.
Ziva found herself repeating what she said over and over again in her head - why did she admit it? She sighed as she entered the elevator, clicking the button that will lead her to the ground floor when, just as the elevator doors began closing, a hand pushed it open again and her tall, vain and just too good-looking partner rushed in, "Mind if I join you?" he added.
"It's not like I can say 'no' and close the door on you, Tony," Ziva replied, attempting to hide the frustration in her voice with her usual smirk.
As it usual, Tony just chose to ignore it or didn't seem to notice anything at all as he merely stood beside Ziva with his typical cocky grin and pressed a button for the elevator doors to close. Like most of their elevator travel times, he started the conversation, "The doctor got you talking, didn't she?"
Ziva couldn't help but chuckle, "Didn't we all?"
Tony shrugged, "I dunno," he started turning to her, "Took me a while to figure out who she really was,"
"Resemblance was uncanny, I thought you'd be the first to realize it, Tony," Ziva said nonchalantly, although her intentions to hit Tony spot-on were quite adamant.
The grin on Tony's face faltered, "You know who she is?" he demanded.
"Ducky," replied Ziva, her smirk fading as well, "And I understand just how important she was to the team, okay? I get it." She paused here momentarily and focused on the carpet at her feet, not really wanting to look at Tony at the moment, "I know how hard it is for all of you to lose someone as special as her - and nobody else can take her place. Maybe if my half-brother didn't kill her, you wouldn't all be reminscing all these amazing moments that seem to stand against me. Good night, Tony."
And the doors opened just in time.
Ziva briskly walked away, as fast as her legs could carry her, but she was still in sight of the elevator when Tony managed to grab her by the arm and turn her around to face him, "What the hell was that all about?"
But he stopped dead when he noticed that Ziva was blinking back tears.
"Ziva, I'm-"
"No, it's okay, Tony," she started, not even caring to wipe away the tears brimming in her eyes as she pursed her lips, "I understand how Kate has been such a big part of NCIS - so much, in fact, that whenever she comes up in conversation, I suddenly become a blind side to the team."
Tony was at loss for words. He never really thought about it that way, how Ziva was explaining it: he never really realized that his focus returns to Kate even after that long time that she's been gone, and Ziva was the one who always stayed by his side. And he never realized just how much it pained him to see that he's part of the cause of all this hurt Ziva was hiding.
Seeing as her partner had nothing else to say, Ziva rolled her eyes and said, "I knew it was too good to be true," and she was about to walk away again when Tony grabbed her once more, but this time by her hands, and pulled her lightly towards him.
"All right, I give up, " he whispered to her, his eyebrows furrowing, "What was it that you thought was too good to be true?"
Ziva tightened her hold onto his hand, "That you finally understand what I'm going through," she started but when Tony raised an eyebrow, she snatched her hand away from his grasp and added, "Which you don't - as I thought..."
"Then tell me," Tony started, taking her hands in his once more, "I want to understand..."
She didn't know if it was a test, or those moments when Tony was being sincere, but she drew a deep breath and repeated what she had told the psychologist earlier that day, "I want something permanent - something that won't be taken away from me, Tony. And I thought I'd find all that here, in NCIS, especially when you've all been a... Family, to me." This time, she paused to wipe away her tears, taking one hand away from Tony's grasp, "Which was why I was so worried about trusting Gibbs, and about you, because everyone I seem to ever care about is taken away from me like-"
"Ari and Michael," Tony finished for her, with a small nod.
"-... Yes," Ziva gulped. She has never let out this much before. She should really stop all this talking before she says something she would-"But, apparently, what I want can't be found here on NCIS either because the mere memory of someone is taking away the person I treasure the most!"
-Regret.
Tony's eyes widened and his cocky grin returned to his face, just frustrating Ziva further.
That was proof enough that Tony understood perfectly. But, knowing Tony, he wouldn't just let it go with him understanding, of course not: he would squeeze out the truth from her, naturally, with his own way with words, and let her admit how she felt to him out loud. And the only thing she was afraid of was whether or not he felt the same way, because she would gladly admit it to him any day...
... But that cocky grin is just really, really, annoying.
Scoffing, Ziva rolled her eyes and was about to walk away once more when Tony pulled her by the waist and held her close to him. When she looked into his eyes, however, she noticed that his typical cocky grin was replaced with a kind, warm, and -dare she say it?- loving smile.
"It's me isn't it, Ziva?" he whispered.
Before she could answer an honest, breathless and captivated "yes", the doors of the elevator, which was about ten feet away from them, opened and a surprised Rachel Cranston yelped, "Oh! I'm sorry! I'll just..." before closing the doors once more, probably giving them time to finish what they've started... Whatever it was.
The doctor snapped Ziva out of Tony's mesmerizing eyes. As much as she would like to say what she had originally thought, she would just want to walk away from this if she was still unsure. She wanted to know the truth from Tony as well - not the teasing and the taunting - but the absolute truth.
"Do you love me?"
The question was adamant, just as the answer Ziva wanted. But it made the smile fade from Tony's lips.
"... Are you seriously asking-"
"Yes or no, Tony," Ziva persisted, tears threatening to fall from her eyes once more, "Do you love me?"
Tony sighed and gently placed his hand on Ziva's cheek, wiping the tears that have been unshed far too long. "Let's see," he began, "I am worried that you won't come back everytime you leave for Tel Aviv. I enjoyed that first under-cover mission we had, even though you keep telling me that it was just for the mission. I... Enjoyed Paris, as you know, because for the first half hour, I just watched you sleep-"
Ziva couldn't believe what she was hearing: was it really too good to be true?
"-and I ran into the arms of danger, hoping you were alive and rescuing you in the middle of the Sahara Desert..." he furrowed his eyes for a moment, Ziva recognizing it as one of his 'for effect' actions, "Oh yes! Let's not forget that I constantly, constantly get jealous of any man who looks at you with eyes filled with desire and lives to tell the tale," he smiled, making Ziva chuckle a bit with what he had said.
"So yes," he whispered, nearing her face, "I do love you,"
Finally, he pressed his lips unto hers. It wasn't like the hot, sloppy kisses they shared undercover, and it was definitely not like any kiss Ziva has ever had in her life. Maybe because this one was innocent and pure, a rare case, perhaps, because of Tony, and because, for once, she felt that she was with the right person - a person who would never, ever, give up on her, or give her up for that matter.
"Rule number twelve..."
The sound of Gibbs voice bounced back into their ears, making the two agents turn to their boss, both flushing.
It seemed that he had brought down Dr. Cranston and walked right past them, with a knowing look on his face.
"Ah, right! Sorry boss-"
"-we were just-"
But when Gibbs glared at the two of them, they both stopped talking.
"You didn't let me finish," Gibbs said to them, "I was gonna say that rule number twelve should be turned into 'Get a room - that isn't in your office'..." He chuckled at them before turning and walking away again.
Tony and Ziva exchanged glances before laughing a little bit: even their boss can have a little laugh, right?
Pulling Ziva into his arms, Tony shouted out, "Why that, though, boss?"
"Ask Abby!" Gibbs shouted back, "She asked me not to come into her lab until she says so!"
"Really?"
"Or better yet..." At this point, Ziva and Tony were exchanging nervous glances knowing that Abby would never give Gibbs, whom he treated as a father, an ultimatum like that unless it was case-related, which, as they have currently assessed, couldn't be so. Which leaves them with what? What could be so important-
"Ask McGee."
... Oh.
© empurple
