"Want a ride?" asked Quinn Fabray.
Rachel Berry looked quizzically at the blonde, former cheerleader. Quinn had caught up to Rachel as they were leaving after Glee practice. "Why are you being nice to me?" Rachel asked.
The blonde shrugged, she really didn't know why she was being nice to Rachel "man-hands" Berry, but the words slipped out of her mouth before she could think about it. Something about seeing Santana sing to Brittany in Glee Club the day before had triggered a new, raw emotion in Quinn. The only person besides Santana she could talk to, since her and Santana were no longer good friends, seemed to be Rachel.
"Look do you want a ride or not Berry?" snapped Quinn. Her kindness could only go so far with Rachel before her defenses came back up and she became Quinn, the Head Bitch in Charge, again.
Rachel scowled and crossed her arms defensively. "Well if you're gonna be like that..."
Quinn sighed, what was that saying her Nana always told her, something about flies and honey? "I'm sorry. Can I give you a ride? Please?"
"I suppose," Rachel said, still suspicious. She followed Quinn out of the school to her car. They both got in and drove off in silence. Quinn took a breath and tried to say something, but no words came out. She tried again and again nothing.
"What do you want from me?" Rachel blurted out after a few minutes of awkward silence.
Embarrassed, Quinn turned defensive, "Well fuck if I do anything nice for you again Berry." Quinn gasped as soon as the words left her mouth. "I'm so sorry Rachel. I..." she trailed off.
Rachel looked at her Glee and Celibacy Club "friend" confused. She had never seen the normally composed blonde get this agitated before, and she sure as hell never heard her swear before.
"Quinn, are you okay?"
"I... I don't think so."
"Do you want to go someplace and talk?"
Quinn nodded and turned the car into a small park near Rachel's neighborhood. They both got out of the car and walked over to the playground. Rachel climbed up to the top of the jungle gym and motioned for Quinn to come up with her.
"You picked my favorite park," said Rachel. "No one comes here. It's kind of my secret hide out. I like coming here when I'm feeling down or just need to be alone. My dads are great, but sometimes they can be a little overbearing when they can tell I'm depressed."
Quinn smiled softly, seeing a new side to the usually harsh diva. She sighed, wondering how to even bring up the topic she'd been struggling with for God knows how long. How could she tell Rachel Berry of all people something she herself couldn't even admit out loud?
"We don't have to talk," said Rachel, sensing Quinn's nervousness. "We can just, I don't know, watch the clouds."
Quinn smiled slightly and nodded. Both girls lay down on the wooden planks of the jungle gym and focused their attention on the sky.
After a long while, Quinn felt brave enough to say something. "What do you think about Santana and Brittany?"
Rachel turned her head and looked at Quinn. "Is that what this is about?"
Quinn's eyes grew wide, could Rachel really have seen through her that quickly? Quinn studied Rachel's face for a moment. There was not a trace of judgment or anger, just general curiosity.
"What do you think about Santana and Brittany?" asked Rachel.
Quinn sat up and took in a deep breath. "I asked you first."
Rachel sat up as well. "Well," she started, choosing her words carefully so as to not set off the blonde. "I think they're adorable together and obviously they love each other very much…"
"…but…?" said Quinn, sensing the pause.
"But… You saw what happened to Kurt with Karofsky. I mean, I know Santana could kick Karofsky's ass any day, but still…" she sighed. "I'm the daughter of two gay dads. I know how society can be; I know how our school can be. It's going to be hard for Britt and San if they decide to be together, openly."
Quinn nodded but didn't say anything. Thoughts swirled her head. Her family, her faith, her friends, her life… she just got done being the cliché pregnant teenager. Was she really ready to be the cliché…gay… teenager?
"Quinn," Rachel said quietly. "What do you think about San and Britt?"
"I, um…" Tears swarmed her eyes. "I don't know," Quinn choked out as tears began to fall. She leaned into Rachel and strong arms wrapped around her frame. Rachel pulled her in and let her cry. And Quinn cried. All the emotions, the feelings, the pressure built up inside of her were released as she sobbed in Rachel's arms. Rachel just held her and rubbed her back, seeming to understand that Quinn needed this release.
"I'm sorry," Quinn said as her sobs turned into sniffles.
"It's okay," said Rachel, pulling back to look at Quinn. "I may be suspicious when you act nice to me, but I'm not heartless. I can tell when someone is hurting and needs help."
Quinn nodded and wiped the tears from her face. Rachel chuckled, "I just thought of something." Rachel fished her iPod out of her jeans pocket. "Ever heard of Avenue Q?"
"Isn't that the musical with the puppets?"
Rachel nodded, "Yeah, there's a song from it. I think it fits right now. Just promise me you won't take offense to it."
"Okay."
Rachel gave Quinn one of the earbuds and put the other in her own ear. She turned on the iPod and started the song.
If you were gay
That'd be okay
I mean 'cause Hey
I like you anyway
Because you see
If it were me
I would feel free
To say that I was gay
Quinn smiled and laughed as the song played. She understood Rachel's intentions playing the song for her. It was Rachel's way of saying, "If that's what this is all about, I'm okay with it."
"Thank you," Quinn said when the song ended. Rachel put her iPod back in her pocket.
"You liked it?" asked Rachel.
"I did. It was funny."
Rachel laid back down and Quinn joined her. The two girls watched the clouds in silence, content to just enjoy each others company. Quinn felt calm around Rachel, like a sort of weight had been lifted off of her. Rachel seemed to understand what Quinn needed to hear, or not to hear. Quinn smiled. Maybe Rachel was the right person to talk to about whatever she was feeling.
Quinn turned her head to study Rachel's profile. She had never allowed herself to look, really look at the diva before. She had spent too much time terrorizing Rachel to notice how strikingly beautiful she was. A feeling, like butterflies, overtook Quinn. Suddenly she couldn't take in a full breath. Even after she looked back up at the sky, the feeling persisted.
"Quinn?" Rachel asked. Quinn turned to look at Rachel. She met Rachel's dark chocolate brown eyes and gulped down a lump in her throat. The expression on Rachel's face changed from one of innocent curiosity to one a bit sultrier, probably matching the expression forming on Quinn's face.
Quinn felt suddenly courageous. She moved her face in close to Rachel's, and when Rachel didn't pull back, she gently brushed her lips against the brunettes. The kiss was soft and timid. Quinn's lips lingered on Rachel's for a long moment, neither girl wanting to pull away nor deepen the kiss.
Quinn felt the butterflies build in her and suddenly needed to take in a breath. She pulled away from Rachel and sat up.
"Oh my God," Quinn whispered, breathing a little heavy.
"Wow…" Rachel sighed, sitting up.
"Fuck." Quinn said. Her mind was racing, but the one thought that kept being repeated was: I want to kiss her again… Terror raced through Quinn. What had she just done? Why did she have to go and make her abstract feelings so concrete?