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THE INTRICATE DESIGN OF LOVE

She gets the call in the middle of rehearsal.

And after what seems like an endless cab ride. She's at Bellevue Hospital demanding information and causing a scene at the front desk.

She doesn't know how she makes it through the hall and then onto some elevator, or the encouraging words the nurse in lilac scrubs offers. She's obviously trying to bring her out of the state of despair she is in. She picks up something about an operating room and a blood type. So she shakes her head and utters the words ab positive. Her blood's no use, which is completely ironic considering it is the very reason why she was called in the first place.

There's a sigh, some more words that completely escape Rachel, and the nurse is opening the door, she now realizes they were standing in front of.

There are quiet sobs coming from a bed. She can't see her face at first, but she can see her little shoulders shake. The first thing she notices is the cast that apparently is covering her left arm. She walks in further into the room, and she sees another nurse with a silly pattern of some popular cartoon she's seen before but can't exactly recall, cleaning a nasty cut in the little girl's forehead. She tries to regain as much composure as she can, and looks quickly up and down the short frame, looking for any other sign of damage.

There's none. She's okay.Beth's okay.

You're okay. You're okay. Rachel has to cover her mouth, when she sees the hazel eyes instantly fill with tears at the sight of her. And suddenly is like she's pulled back into the real world.

She doesn't ask if she can, she just picks her up and lets Beth bury her face as they both sob quietly, finding comfort in each other.

Rachel loses track of time. But at some point she registers they're alone. And all they can do is wait for someone. She knows it's bad, but she doesn't know how bad. Rachel feels completely helpless. She's not prepared for this. She never thought she'd have to be.

The nurse who scorted her earlier comes back in quietly, and lets her know there's a doctor who wants to talk to her.

Rachel doesn't need to ask and the nurse doesn't elaborate. And since Beth has already fallen asleep, she leans down to kiss the little girl's forehead and steps out into the hall as quietly as she can.

She wraps her arms around her body, bracing herself for the news.

The doctor's blue scrubs have blood spattered and she can't help but cringe at what that might mean. She's certain he came straight out of wherever Shelby or Will are. He introduces himself as the attending responisble and pauses to confirm her relation to the patients. Then he starts talking fast, giving details of the accident and the damage it caused. She heard tidbits of this from the nurse, but she wasn't really paying much attention to the specifics. Then he says what she's been dreading since she got the call.

Death. Will is dead .A major artery was ruptured, and he died on the operating table . There are more words, but that's what she gathers. She nods trying to choke back the sobs as much as she can to keep the doctor talking.

Shelby apparently is about to go into surgery. She can tell it's bad, really bad, and the odds don't sound so good. But her mother is asking to see her before she goes in.

She nods and follows the doctor. They take the elevator, and he hands her a surgical mask once they're outside.

There's a couple of people inside working on her mother . They all look up to see the doctor and file out of the room quietly.

Two minutes is all they're given.

When Shelby looks at her. Rachel feels her heart break all over again. She's going to die, and she was just waiting for her. She knows. She's always been a little psychic.

And the words that come out of her mouth just confirm it.

Shelby is asking her to do something. Something Rachel asked of her years ago. Something Shelby denied her back then. Something Shelby never really got to be for her. She wants her to look after Beth. To be a mother.

Rachel knows she has every right to deny her this request. Especially this one. She's young, she's supposed to have time to make it all happen. She can't take care of Beth. Not like that. Not like her mother wants her to.

She's just a girl herself. How is she supposed to take care of another human being when she can barely take care of herself? She's made it through thin, black, and worse. She's been to hell and back. She's selfish, she's flawed, disfunctional. She's been here before. She knows she's not fit for this role. Especially not for this girl

A girl that she wished didn't exist at some point, a girl she resented, a girl she learned to love just the same. A girl she's been spoiling for years and that doesn't know any family outside of her. A girl that's the flesh of blood of the only man she's eve truly loved. Of the same man she refused to have a child with.

A girl who in a world less than perfect, but not as screwed up as this one, would've been hers. A world where Noah was her highschool sweetheart and she was the young ingenue that she used to envision herself as. The cherished and loved girl, with the perfect family, ready to start one of her own with the man she loved.

But she's not. And her reality is far from that childish fantasy. She's been stripped of everything. But now so has Beth. Their worlds are crumbling down, and she can't leave the little girl in the wreckage by herself. She can't.

So she holds her mother's hand tightly and promises to take care of Beth with her very own life. She punctuates each word with a heavy breath. Shelby doesn't even have to talk, her eyes say it all. And Rachel nods. She forgave her a long time ago.

I love you mom. And just like that, the moment's over.

Looking back, Rachel will say it was over too soon. They needed more time. But when has life ever been fair to Rachel?

The beeping stops, and the ominous prolonged sound fills the room. A group of people burst in cue, And she's pushed outside, as they try to work on the corpse of her mother. She doesn't wait. She doesn't want to see. She doesn't have to.

She's gone, it's futile. Shelby's dead.

This isn't the life she wanted, but Beth didn't have a choice in this matter either.

And in the midst of all the grief and the devastation of losing people she loves once again, Rachel can only think of him.

Noah

A/N: Hope you liked it. This is just a glimpse. Story is set 6 years after they graduate. Which means Beth is eight years old. Puck and Rachel are 25/24. Things will shape up pretty soon. I promise.