It all began on August 18, 2015, two weeks after school had started, when I got this letter from the doctors that chilled me to the bone:
"We here at, Psychosis Psychiatric, regret to inform you that Patient 21615, Benjamin Aaron Cooper, who was diagnosed with the illnesses categorized as Social Anxiety Disorder and Mild Depression last summer, has not requested his/her mandatory parental consent refill-request form for his/her benzodiazepine and Tricyclic medication. If the refill-request form is not provided within two weeks then medication for Patient 21615 will cease to be distributed and the patient is likely to endure extreme psychosis within a limited time-span of approximately two weeks..."
The letter softened and then shredded in a flurry of swirls as it disappeared with nothing but the sound of flushing being heard. That was the second letter to be sent since last week. What am I gonna do? I thought as I left the bathroom and headed to the library. Ah, the library, the only place where I could find peace and solace away from everyone else and their noise and drama. The only place I could be alone with my troubling thoughts. The library, like the school, was huge enough to have two floors. I walked up one of the stair cases and settled into my usual spot: a little pub in the back of the library that kept me well hidden from everyone else where I pondered my situation. If I don't get Frank to sign off on a new prescription I could get in serious trouble.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
I turned around and noticed my best friend Megan walking up towards me.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at lunch?", I asked her.
"Shouldn't you?", She replied.
"Touché, but you know I hate big crowds. The overlapping voices, small spaces, it's all overbearing."
"Oh, Darlin' you're gonna get past this. It'll all be alright."
"Megan...", I started, but couldn't find the words to say.
"Did you take your medicine?" She asked.
I looked down at the floor.
"Yes...", I lied.
"Good, You'll feel better soon. I gotta go, but I'll see you in 6th period. Until then, If anybody bothers you, just let me know and I'll happily kick their ass for you, okay?"
"Right... Okay." Please, don't leave me...
"Later, Hun!"
She kissed me on my cheek and left. Megan Hills. One of my best friends and most personal diaries. Born and raised in Texas, she moved to L.A., our current resident of stay, right in my neighborhood when she was about ten and when I was 9. We met in the fifth grade and have been best friends always bugged me that she was a year older than me. Mostly because she always acted like it. She was always like a second mother to me and well, everybody really. With her country accent, cowboy boots and paste skin, not only was she your stereotypical country-cow girl ginger with blue eyes and freckles, but she was also someone who knew all my secrets...well almost all of them.
I hadn't taken my meds in about two weeks. I stopped taking them because I'm tired of being tied to those pills. How can something that's made to make me act normal make me feel so abnormal? You're probably wondering why I have to take medication. Well, let's just say they keep me from having another...incident. I'll never forget how this all started. I'll never forget what He did to me. I'll never forgot His voice... His touch...
"Please... Eric!" I begged.
"You deserve everything you're gonna get!" he said shoving his finger into my chest.
"Please, don't! This isn't what we - this isn't what I want!" I yelled in desperation.
"Well too bad because I'm going to give it to you!" He said pushing me into the room.
I fell into the dimly-lit room. As I observed my surroundings I heard the shutting of the door followed by the sound of a lock and key. He cornered me as if he was a lion and I was his gazelle. He quietly approached me and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. We we're now face-to-face.
"I told you it would come to this!" he yelled and threw me into the wall and I groaned in pain as he slowly approached me.
"No! Please, stop! Don't do this!" I yelled as his fist rammed into my face. Suddenly the room was filled with my screams...
*Rrriiinngg!*
The sound of the bell boomed in my ears, signaling the end of lunch. I hurriedly gather my things and left for fourth period as a tear streamed down my face.
I quickly made my way to class to avoid the hallways rush. Ugh! 4th period: U.S. History. I hated that class. History was where it belong: in the past. Plus, I don't have a very good experience with history due to my checkered past. Not to mention, the idiot guys who wouldn't shut up about 'which chick is hotter' or 'who'd they bang first' and the shallow girls who wouldn't stop gossiping about 'who wore what better' and 'which guy is hotter'.
"Mr. Cooper, am I boring you?", Mr. Humphrey, asked snapping me out of my own world.
"Well, since you asked... I find many things we learn in this class to be pointless and useless.", I replied honestly.
"Is that so?" He rebutted.
"Yeah, I mean, the videos we watch are boring and how do you expect me to use this ten years from now?"
Before he could respond, Déjà Lynn, Gossip Girl #1, laughed at me:
"Aw, is little psycho gonna have a meltdown again!?"
People starting laughing at me. I hate to be laughed at! Think about the therapy treatments...
"Miss Lynn, I advise you to stay quiet", Mr. Humphrey reprimanded her.
" Yeah, or that freak would probably attack like he did last year!" Janine, Gossip Girl #2, said.
Breathe...Count to ten...
"Miss OSweetie...!", Mr. Humphrey warned.
"Yeah, Ben, Sweetie, did you take your meds today? We don't wanna have another 'No-no' moment, do we?" Déjà taunted.
Inhale... Exhale... One. Two. Three...
"He's gonna cry to his momma!", Janine continued.
"Ladies, that's enough! To the principal's office, NOW!",Mr. Humphrey yelled.
They headed towards to the door before one of them muttered:
"It's not our fault he's killing his own mother!"
That's it! Taking shots at my sick and bed-ridden mother was an all new low! Even for them!
That did it! I slammed everything on my desk to the floor and jumped up out of my seat racing towards their direction. Then I grabbed a textbook from a nearby desk and threw it at them. Luckily for them, It slammed into the door next to their heads.
"You stupid bitches! I'll fucking destroy you!", I roared.
"Are you threatening us? We are so gonna report that!" Janine said and then they hurried to the principal's office.
I stood their paralyzed, not with fear, but with anger. One second turned into a minute which turned into two which turned into five. I started hyperventilating!
Then I thought about everyone else in the room. I turned around to face them. They were all looking at me with different levels of fear and confusion, but their looks also said one word I knew all to well:psycho.
"Mr. Humphrey, I'm so sor-" I started to say but he interrupted me.
"Mr. Cooper, step out of the room please." he stated firmly.
I did as was told and and stepped outside of the classroom as he followed me after grabbing a slip of paper off his desk.
"Mr. Cooper, though I do think you're an exceptionally gifted young man, you seem to be one of the students who finds themselves in sticky situations the most..." He said
"I'm sorry, I really am. I try to be quiet and stay to my self, but people around me are the problem. You heard what they said to me!" I rebutted
"Yes, and I understand it appears you're going through a rough time right now, you see, but do you really think it was best to threaten those girls the way you did?"
"Is this about that or the fact that I had the courage to tell you straight up that your class is boring and pointless?"
He sighed and then said:
"I know and I think, deep down, you know that that wasn't the right way to go about this situation. The problem started with you blatantly disrespecting me in my classroom and escalated into an altercation with two other students. You can't hide and run from your problems, Ben. People are every where as history shows, we are the dominant species. That's the purpose of my class: to help you learn from past failures or mistakes. We take the past and embrace it in order to strive for a better future. Hopefully, you'll learn from this."
"Mr. Humphrey, I'm not so sure it's that simple. Making choices aren't that easy. Some times the world leaves us with no choices." I rebutted again
"That's not true. In, most cases, what you just did in there would've gotten you kicked out of class, written up, suspended, or possibly expelled, had any other teacher heard or seen you and reported that. Now, I know you're not crazy. You wouldn't intentionally harm those girls, right?" He stated as if it wasn't really a question.
"No, of course not" I replied.
"I know that, and you know that, but others don't know that. So, despite my job being on the line, I decided to look the other way because I decided you didn't need that in your life right now."
Now this is why I like Mr. Humphrey, he always tried to keep me out of trouble no matter what I did or said. He was a teacher who genuinely cared for his students. No matter how crazy they would get.
"Now I want you to take this hall pass, here, and go to the counselling office or the library.", Mr. Humphrey says.
"Not that I don't mind, sir, but, why?",I asked
"I think it would be in the best interest for everyone else, and most importantly you, that you skip this class period." he said.
"But, not only a minutes ago, you just said that we can't run or hide from people or our problems, besides class just about started."
"Indeed, I did, but when it comes to hiding or avoiding people to ignore a problem versus taking time to get away so you can clear your head, there's a distinct difference."
And that's why I respected him. No matter what the situation was, he always tried to look at it in a different perspective, put his feet in another's shoes; He tried to understand.
"Thank you, sir" I said as I took the hall pass from him.
"Don't mention it, son. Oh, and be alert of the principal. I won't say anything, but your classmates might." He said.
"Once again, thank you, sir." I said as I headed to the library with his word in my mind.
Take time so I can clear my head?...
If it's one thing I've learned, it's that my head will never be clear because my problems are nearly just getting started...
A/N: Well that was chapter one of my first story so... Let me know what you guys think! I would really appreciate some feedback