Oops. At least this one only kept me up until 2 am, instead of 4, like the other one.
Don't start expecting things from me. I'm just on a bit of a kick. Gotta flush it outta my system.
Oh, and to whoever left that lovely guest review on Hobbies yesterday, it really made me smile! Thank you!
Enjoy.
"Jacob, I don't think I can do this."
Julie bit down on her index finger, brows furrowed anxiously. The oldest Burner sighed and put his hands on the young woman's shoulders. "Julie, we agreed that now was the best time. With Kane getting more dangerous every day, tensions are running higher than ever. They deserve to know. They need to know, if you really want to avoid the worst-case scenario."
She looked up into Jacob's eyes, afraid. "You don't think…?"
"I don't know," he told her honestly, shrugging. He looked sad. "But if I know those boys, I know that they wouldn't kill a man that one of their friends loved, not even Abraham Kane. But when he's just the tyrant ruler of Detroit Deluxe? None of them are murderers, but they'll do what they have to."
Tears well onto Julie's cheeks. "Sometimes I wish you'd been my father instead of him," she said quietly.
Jacob seemed flustered. "Now, Julie, your mama was a fine woman, but she loved your old man from the day they met. I knew better than to interfere with that. And I think what she saw in him – what I saw in him, too, he was my best friend, after all – might still be in there. I… I don't want to give you false hope. I don't know if he'll change. But I think there's still a chance. If there's anything I know is still true about your father, it's that he loves you with all his heart. And if anyone can get him to see, it's you, kiddo."
She put her face against his grubby t-shirt and threw her arms around his middle, and he awkwardly returned her embrace, surprised. After a moment he relaxed and hugged her properly, in a caring way she hadn't received from her father in years, and she released a small sob. Once it was out of her system she pulled away from the old man and wiped her eyes.
She went to the sink in Jacob's dirty kitchen, piled high with unwashed, oddly-stained dishes, and splashed herself with a little cold water from the tap, trying to wash away the evidence of her tears. She straightened her shirt, smoothed her hair, and turned back to him.
"Do you… want me to come with you?" Jacob asked uncertainly.
"No, I think I should do this for myself," she said, sounding no more positive than he did, but he stepped back and respected her decision.
"I'll be in here if you decide you need me," he promised. She nodded and turned to the door.
Julie left the kitchen and went out to the main room of the garage, where all the other Burners were playing a round of Euchre. Texas was terrible at it, and it was infuriating Dutch.
"Hey Jules, come on and have a seat," Mike invited, scooting over on the bench to make room for her. Then he looked at her properly and the warm smile slid from his face. "Julie, what's wrong?"
At that the others looked up as well, momentarily forgetting their game, and saw her wringing the hem of her shirt nervously and staring at the floor.
"I… I have something really important that I need to, um, confess. To all of you," she said, not as loudly as she'd meant to. She bit her lip uncomfortably.
The guys exchanged quick, curious glances. "You can tell us anything, Jules," Mike said earnestly.
"Yeah, we're your friends. We're here for you no matter what," Dutch added.
"I just, um…" Her voice quavered, and she willed herself not to cry again, not in front of all of them. Not before she'd even said it. "I don't… know how to start."
Mike glanced around the table and laid down his cards, the others following suit. "I'll tell you what," he said slowly. "What if we all shared a secret first, just to get things moving. Put some stuff out in the open. Show we all trust each other." Chuck and Dutch nodded their agreement, and after a pointed look from Mike, Texas nodded too.
Julie looked up at them for a moment, studied their faces, thought about how much it would hurt to lose them. Then she nodded as well. She grabbed a chair and dragged it up to the table, unable to take the spot Mike had offered her. She couldn't sit close in by his side, not today, not now. Not the person she was most terrified of losing. Not the person she cared about more than anyone else.
She sat with her hands in her lap and stared at the tabletop. There was a moment of silence, nobody really wanting to start, before Chuck sighed a long, deep sigh.
"I… can't drive," he admitted, hanging his head. "Only Mike knew. But it had to come out eventually."
Texas started to laugh, but shut up when Dutch and Mike both shot him icy glares. Julie looked at Chuck. "I had no idea," she said quietly. "It explains a few things, though."
"You really can't drive at all, man?" Dutch asked, sounding more surprised than anything. "Is that why you were so bummed when I showed you the paint job on Blue Thunder? I actually feel better now."
Chuck gave a tiny smile at that.
"He's learning, though," Mike interjected. "I've been teaching him for a while. It's slow… like, really slow… but steady." He shot his best friend an encouraging grin.
"Well now we can take shifts as driving instructors," Dutch said with a smile. He patted Chuck's back. "I guess it's my turn. I'm, uh…" He looked away. "I'm dyslexic."
"What does that mean?" Texas asked Mike behind his hand, but still loud enough for everyone to hear. Dutch turned back, giving his friend a skeptical look.
"It's a learning disability. It makes me bad at spelling and reading. But that's kinda why I'm so into art."
Julie didn't know what to say to that, so she just looked down again. Her own secret was bubbling just beneath the surface, threatening to explode.
Chuck, Dutch and Mike all turned to look expectantly at Texas, who looked back and forth between them for a moment before saying, "Texas doesn't have any secrets." The others frowned at him, and after a few seconds he slumped and reluctantly offered, "Texas… sleeps with a teddy bear."
"Oh come on, man, I already knew that!" Dutch complained, irritated, but Mike glanced over at Julie just in time to see her tense up, ball her fists, and blurt, "Abraham Kane is my father!"
The budding argument between Dutch and Texas was instantly silenced. Julie screwed her eyes shut, but before long she had to look up. She had to know. All four of them stared at her in stunned silence.
"I'm sorry," she told them, tears welling to her eyes once again. She didn't try to stop them. "I'm sorry. I never knew how to tell you. Part of me hoped I would never have to. But the way things are going lately, I just didn't… I don't…" she trailed off and wiped her eyes on her forearm. "Despite it all, I still love him. He's still my dad, and I still love him, even after everything he's done. And it's tearing me up inside, with only Claire and Jacob to talk to about it all, and with him cracking down harder every day, but please… please don't kill him. Don't kill him."
Chuck looked scared. Dutch and Texas were simply shocked. And Mike looked… almost sad. And when Julie saw that in his eyes, all that hurt, her heart broke, because she loved Mike Chilton. She'd fallen for him so much more easily than she'd meant to, than she should have. When she first came to Motorcity it was Mike Chilton who had taken her for her first car ride, who had taught her to drive, who had given her a car and a place in the Burners and a purpose. A way to fight back against her father's tyranny. She loved Mike Chilton, but she also loved her father, and she couldn't do both.
She knew suddenly that all that shock and hurt would be followed by betrayal, and then by anger, and she didn't think she could take it. "I'm so sorry," she choked, rising from the chair and knocking it to the floor as she turned and ran.
She got all the way to 9Lives and was struggling to fit her keys into the door when Mike cried out, "Wait!" She looked up, still trying to unlock the car with her shaky hands, and saw him hopping off the high ledge and using Mutt's hood to break his fall, stumbling slightly as he leapt to the ground and came towards her at full speed. "Julie, wait! Don't go!"
She felt the key turn in the lock, finally, and tried to open the door, but Mike was still scrambling towards her at full tilt. "I didn't get to tell you my secret!" he shouted, and when she glanced up at him again, through her tears, she could swear he looked almost desperate.
"Julie!" he cried again, finally reaching her car and leaping forward to get in her way and keep the door shut.
"Mike, please, I can't-" Julie sobbed, trying to pull him out of the way.
"You can't what?" he asked, refusing to move. He grabbed her arms and held her in place.
"I can't do this, I can't deal with hurting you," she cried. "I can't deal with being kicked out. Please just let me go, you'll never have to see me again."
"Jules, no!" Mike answered, gripping her wrists tighter as she tried to fight him. "Except for Texas, all of us defected from Deluxe! We know the pressure you're under up there! Chuck and Dutch, they still have families in Deluxe who miss them and care about them. And I… I was Kane's best young soldier, I believed wholeheartedly in his vision. He was like a father figure to me, the only one I ever really had. I had to turn my back on him. I don't know what this feels like for you, I could never, but I'm probably the one who can get closest to imagining it."
Julie stopped fighting and just stared at him, still crying silently. His face softened and he let go of her arms, his hands moving to cup her face and gently try to wipe her tears. He looked a little dewy-eyed himself. Her hands fell against his shirt, and gripped it almost desperately. Her keys dropped forgotten to the ground with a clatter.
"I didn't get to tell you my secret," he repeated, quieter now that she had calmed down somewhat.
She didn't trust herself to speak, so she just watched him.
"Julie, I'm in love with you. I've been too scared to say it, but not half so scared as you must have been to tell us this. I'm so sorry I didn't make the Burners safe enough for you to be honest with us sooner," he said, his voice cracking slightly, and she knew that he cared about his gang more than anything or anyone, and she realized that he was already beating himself up for what he saw as a failure on his own part. "If you can be brave enough to tell us this today, the least I can do is be brave enough to let you know how I feel about you."
Her fingers tightened on his shirt. "I didn't think I-" Another sob bubbled up out of Julie's throat; now that they were coming they didn't seem to want to stop. She tried again. "I didn't think I could love you both," she hiccupped, and she didn't even know if he'd be able to tell what she said through the mess of tears.
The tension rolled out of Mike's body so smoothly he seemed to be melting. His tight shoulders dropped, his nervous fingers grew calm, his posture relaxed. He held her face and leaned down to kiss her, and she held onto the front of his shirt like her life depended on it; like if she let go he'd disappear. But he stayed where he was, kissing her and hoping she understood how much it didn't matter who her father was, how much he loved her. A strange sense of comfort and relief washed over her, calming her fears. Slowly her fingers unknotted from his t-shirt and drifted up to tangle in his hair as he dropped his hands from her face and scooped his arms around her back, pulling her as close to him as he possibly could.
Up at the card table, the other Burners started cheering.