A/N: This fic was inspired by many things - The show Chuck (of which I claim no ownership of or for any other copyrighted material mentioned here or the body of the story; No profit, just fun), it's creators and the actors; Chuck fanon (as I often fuse it with canon hence the mess I write, which I refer to as Chuck Soup). The story is in no way related to sharpasamarble's much better work of the same name (or anyone else's really). Although not a song fic per se ( See MySongStory and others for better examples) the song "Auld Lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg was another inspiration. Also a point of view espoused by my favorite current fanfiction "Becoming" by Arya's prayers. Apologies to Frea O'Scanlin for a shameless mimicry of a scene from her work "That Which Is Greater". Big, big thanks to my beta reader yeahokaycool (who I always forget uses the full spelling of "okay") for being ready at a drop of a hat to edit like a boss!
"Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
On Old long syne."
The ballad "Old Long Syne" printed in 1711 by James Watson . - Wikipedia
December 31, 2014
As Chuck ended his day, he was struck with the date. It was almost 3 years. In four weeks it would be the anniversary of the last time he saw Sarah. They had been on the beach. Their beach. She had agreed to stay with him at their place until she got on her feet and she could decide what she was going to do with her life at that point.
She really only remembered up until 5 years previous, but he thought he had made a breakthrough with her with his promise that she could trust and count on him, and with the telling of their story. He also included telling her about her Mom and Molly. "You saw them often after Ryker was killed. You can see your Mom any time, and Molly is just the cutest little girl now."
Sarah smiles at the idea that her Mom and the baby are safe from the violent world she lived in. A thought occurs to her. "So we were partners?"
"Yes. Yes we were. We were the best. General Beckman called us her "A" team."
"I can only remember being partners with Bryce."
"I got to see you and Bryce work together once. It was amazing, and no offence to Bryce's memory, but I think we were better." Chuck notices Sarah's face seem to cloud so he quickly adds, "Even after the government let us go, we were pretty serious competition in the private espionage and security industry with Carmichael Industries." he embellished.
"We were still spying after we were let go? Did you like it that much?"
Sensing an opportunity to help his case, Chuck replies, "Well, I had gotten pretty good at spying, contrary to what you've seen from me recently. It just seemed like a natural thing to do."
"Did I like it?"
"Well, when we were offered a chance to re-up, I was ready to do it but you were reluctant."
Chuck recalls how he totally misread her. He had been married to her and she was still a mystery to him. He still remembered the shock at her next statement.
"Chuck? I don't think I can stay with you. I've been a spy since I was 17. I was coerced by a bad situation, with no options and a master manipulator. It's all I know, but not what I wanted. I have a chance to have a different life. One I've always wanted. I know what you said about us, but if we were "better" than me and Bryce, we must have done horrible things. I still have those memories and wish I could forget the things he and I did."
"Sarah… wait. If you want normal, I can give you normal. I am the king of normal. Just give me a chance."
"I want to come home from work and tell you the funny or crazy things that went on and hear about your day. I want to curl up on the couch, and the only possible danger to be faced is that my favorite show has been cancelled. I want to see if I want to be a mom. I left the baby with my Mom to protect her from this life. It would be horrible to put my family at risk like that. Chuck, I need to be safe, normal. In my world, I've only known you for a short time, and you are many things but normal is not one of them."
Stunned by the similarities to a conversation long ago, Chuck just stammers "Sarah".
"Chuck...you told me to trust you. That I could count on you. Well, I am. I am trusting you to give me some room. I will call you in a few days." The call never came.
He could have tracked her down, and had been tempted many times. But she was so good at hiding when she wanted to be off grid, and more importantly, he had made a promise. That she could trust him. He just wouldn't break a vow to her. Ever.
Surprisingly, he had never been served with divorce papers. He just assumed Sarah had taken another identity. It was bittersweet but he hoped she had found someone to live the life she wanted. A woman that smart, witty, and beautiful would not be without admirers. She was probably married to an architect with two beautiful children. Although she was unsure, Chuck knew she would be a fantastic mom.
His heart had been broken, but instead of the cheese balls and depression, he went in the other direction, throwing himself into his work. He had little time for, and no interest in, a social life outside of Morgan and Alex and the occasional phone call from his sister. Carmichael Industries truly was a computer security company...mostly. CI employed about 200 people since he and Morgan had reinvented the company 3 years ago. He was a white hat and subcontracted in different capacities to established security companies like Norton, but he also delved into the inventing of machines, or gadgets, as he liked to call them. He had learned from his father's mistakes and was a patent holder on over 100 designs. He laughed. Those patents would have funded his children's college tuition if he had any. That wasn't going to happen. Maybe he should learn to sail?
Casey had set up CI's physical security and kept a check on it regularly. He casually mentioned that it was a cakewalk compared to what he did before with CI, and now for Verbaski Corp. "Walker could have done this in her sleep." He hadn't meant it to, but it still stung.
Still, it was New Years. New beginnings and all that. He entered the Trader Joe's near his apartment. He could live almost anywhere he wanted, but stubbornly refused to move. He opted for some sushi and noodles in honor of the holiday.
As he was headed around the aisle to appraise the selection of sushi, he chanced to look over his shoulder to see if the champagne was still being displayed up front. Seeing plenty still in stock, he quickly rounded the corner only to collide with a fellow shopper. He looked up and... "Sarah?!" She looked good. He couldn't tell she had changed a bit, except for hair. Her hair was longer, surprisingly somehow more carefree.
He dropped his basket. Silently stunned, he was glad he hadn't basketed the champagne first. He wondered if she recognized him. He had pretty much avoided depression in the last 3 years, but he had grown a short full beard. It wasn't exactly a beard of sorrow, but she liked him clean shaven. He stooped to pick it up as he heard "let me help you" and felt a sharp rap on his head. He stood up to see Sarah rubbing her head and smiling.
"Sorry about that…Chuck" Well, that answered the recognition question.
"No no no no. I was just startled...surpris...so how are you doing?" Chuck tries and fails at a nonchalant look. He notices her left hand and sees no ring. Oh thank god! No architect. She notices the ring on his hand. Her eyes moisten and she frowns for a split second before the muted smile returns.
"I'm good, but I'm looking forward to the New Year. How about you?"
"Well, I pretty much just work, work, and work. I barely remembered what day it was. I usually stop in here to get a little sushi. You used to say.."
"That it was the best. Yep, that's why I stopped in too." Sarah peruses Chuck's basket. "I see no champagne." and she nods to the display he had just looked at. "Do you mind if I pick up a bottle and we go for a ride?"
Chuck swallows and replies slowly, "Sure."
A cute young brunette woman checks them out and says "Happy New Years, Chuck!" He quickly puts his hand on the the small of Sarah's back to speed up their departure and replies over his shoulder to the cashier "Happy New Years!" and then to Sarah "I really don't come in here that much." Sarah just grins at his discomfort.
Sarah clicks her key fob and the lights flash on a brand new, black Porsche 911. She looks at Chuck. "I missed my old one. It took me almost 3 years of saving up, but I got this for myself for Christmas." Chuck just goggles. "Some things don't change. And yeah that's part of what I want to talk about. Get in the car Chuck."
She's right, some things don't change.
The ride is quiet until suddenly they reach Sarah's destination. "There's a couple of water bottles in the back that belong to Molly. Could you grab them Chuck? I have to grab my coat." He notices it's his old Buy More jacket.
"How did…"
"Key." she jingles her key ring. "Although I could have broken in easily. Chuck you really should have better security at the apartment. You're in the business for goodness sakes…. "
They walk onto beach, which is dark, except for some ambient light from the city. Sarah cracks a glow stick, throws it down in front of them and gestures Chuck to sit down beside her. "Old habits" is all she says. The silence is comfortable. Chuck is trying to decipher what is going on when Sarah says "So "work, work, work" huh? Quell any revolutions with a fork, assassinate any oligarchs, any knife fights with an evil doer in Jakarta?"
"Sarah, you do know I don't do that, right? I never did that. Although, we did quell a revolution once." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "My point is that I totally handled that day wrong. I thought you loved being a spy and I talked myself and us up, a scosh, to impress you…"
"I only liked being a spy when I was with you, Chuck. It was the only time that what I did made sense. It was because of you. Only you. I don't know if you noticed, but I've been remembering things from our time together. It's funny, but I remember you, what you did , what you said, and how I felt the most, but it's all coming back."
"When I left, I went to my Mom's. I wanted to see her and meet Molly. I figured it would just be a first stop but then I realized that what I wanted was what my Mom had. I told her what had happened and why I left. She told me in the nicest way possible that I was a fool, and confirmed that I had all that. That you had given it to me already. But I was stubborn. I still didn't remember that, so I got my teaching certificates and got a job in my Mom's school system as a librarian."
"I thought you had just assumed another identity and gone off grid. I hoped, though it killed me, that you found that life you wanted, even if it was with someone else."
"I tried...at first. But no one really interested me. Then the memories started to return and the men I met always fell short compared to you. But stubborn me would always make excuses like: you wouldn't want to see me after I left you or you had to be dating. Someone as smart, witty and attractive as you wouldn't be on the market for too long…"
"I thought you'd be married but I never received any divorce papers…"
"I couldn't do that, I was remembering but I expected them from you."
"Sarah, you're the one. Always and forever. It never occurred to me. Ever. I didn't even know where you were."
"I couldn't have been that hard to find. I never changed my name. I made no effort to hide. How come you didn't find me?"
"I made a promise to you Sarah. I wouldn't break it. I love you. I wouldn't want you to come back unless you wanted to."
"I love you too!. That's why I was in Trader Joe's. I made up my mind to try and mend things with you one way or another. I was going to pick up some champagne and food and then I was going to the apartment to tell you that I was sorry for doubting you and see if their was still a chance for us."
They looked into each others eyes and slowly drifted together. They kissed deeply and sweetly, communicating only with their touch. Eventually the cork was released from the confines of its bottle, and water bottles were filled with champagne.
"Happy New Year Sarah Walk…"
"It's Bartowski and don't forget it" she interrupted and smiled at her own joke. She nudged him while bumping his water bottle with hers.
"Happy New Year Chuck!"