Atticus' Application
Summary: Atticus really does take his job seriously- the one being the protector of his sister. Even if Zane wants to date her...
A/N: Well, I found it funny xD
Disclaimer: Oh if only they were mine...
"Look Atticus, is this really necessary?"
"Zane, if you want to date my sister, I'm fine with it…up to a point."
"But-"
I sighed as Atticus stopped my complaining as he tapped a finger to the paper again that I should be filling in.
My teal eyes bore down upon the page and my hand rose as I let my dark orbs scan the words, and the final testimony of Zane Truesdale.
---
Applicant No: #11111111110
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.
Name:
Date of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
Home Address:
City:
Zip:
Do you have one male and one female parent?
If "No", explain:
Number of years your parents have been married:
Any brothers or sisters?
Are they normal?
Do you own or have access to a van?
A truck with oversize tires?
A waterbed?
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?
Do you have a tattoo?
If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.
In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?
In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my sister mean to you?
In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?
In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?
Church/Temple you attend:
How often do you attend:
When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi?
Please fill in the blanks:
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my
A woman's place is in the
The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is
When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is
Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised
What do you want to be if you grow up?
I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant
Signature of father
Signature of mother
Signature of priest/rabbi
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
---
I blinked and dropped the pen down onto the school desk with a look of disgust.
"Well?" Atticus said with a stern look on his usually grinning face.
"Want a full body scan as well?" I snarled, cynical and albeit, slightly sarcastic.
Atticus blinked before picking up the pen and adding to the list.
-Becky
-PapP