In S1E3 Allen wrote a letter….the following is as much of I could read of that letter and I thought it was really funny!
They are so awesome. I don't own anything. All credit goes to EvilIguanaProductions
The stuff in bold and italics is what I think was written or I added it.
Dear Steven Spielberg,
I HAVE YOUR FAMILY!
Now that I have your attention I'd like to tell you about this new show my friend and I have. It's called the "Craig and Allen Show." We feel that if you are willing to endorse us we would have a lot to offer to potential networks to pick up on us. But now I'm out of things to say so I'm just gonna type random cra(p) because no one will actually read other than me. I am god. I hate jews, especially dirty money-hungry ones that steal newspapers every morning. That's right. I know it's you! Don't think I can't smell your jew smell inside my house! Anyway, where was I? oh yeah. That's right. It was a cool October afternoon when I first saw a grown man naked. I was on my way home from work and this stranger came up to me in this parking lot. He asked if I knew how to get to Pennsylvania (station). I knew of the one in Washington D.C. but that was (the wrong one.) As I was explaining how to get to our nation's capital he ripped off his clothes. It was a (traumatic yet erotic experience. I was scared so I kicked him in the nuts and ran the fuck away. But then the crazy bastard started to chase me and I screamed like a little girl and grabbed my tits as I ran. I lost him after a few blocks but damn that run tired me. That is why I hate jew. They are all perverts. Are you jewish, Mr. Spielberg? Hope you isn't. Anyway my show is real bad ass. I think I'm in love with my partner. I have wet dreams about his beautiful sexy face. We do it like boss. You welcome to join in, if you want. Is anybody really reading this? You have no life. No seriously what are you doing? Putting the screen on pause so you can read what I typed? I admire your devotion to my show. Thanks. Mirror mirror on the walls who has the biggest balls of them all? Me! My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard damn rite its better than yours, damn rite its better than yours. A-L-L-E-N-M-U-R-P-H-Y. You wanna see something cool? I cnduo't bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg. Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghhuot slelinpg was ipmorantt! See if yuor fdreins can raed tihs too. I got if off a website. Saw it on Facebook too. I doubt anybody woud read this fanfiction by Shay2013 because my show has been done for about—wait let me google this—3 years. Shay2013 still watches us though from time to time. She's my favorite. She was also the happy bunny stalker on Facebook on Craig's EIP page. HA HA HA. It's true. To be a sweet moonfaced innocent child again...Anyway I finna finish this and put it up on fanfic. Took me 10 minutes to write this.)
That's all!
I wish I knew the rest…!