Heavy rain drops slammed against Felicity's apartment windows as the tireless thunder roared through the night sky. Candles were lit throughout the spacious living room due to relentless winds causing power outages in various parts of the city. There were numerous ways for someone to pass the time during a thunderstorm black out, but never did Felicity think she would spend it like this.
She slowly released a breath, enjoying the sound of Oliver's steady heartbeat beneath her head. It was the most beautiful sound she had heard in weeks, a sound that she feared she would never hear again.
Oliver going off to fight Ra's al Ghul was a gamble that the team feared he had lost when they hadn't heard from him in almost a month. Felicity hoped that it was her strength and love for him that helped her sanity the duration he was gone, but in reality it was her denial. The possibility that Oliver may not return to her, alive, was one she couldn't fathom. Staying in denial was the key, or her world would unravel.
There was a knock at her door as she lit the last candle. It was strange that someone was at her door during such a harsh storm, but maybe it was a neighbor who needed extra candles or a flashlight. Felicity opened the door and a breath lodged in her throat at the sight of Oliver standing before her with a weak smile curling the corners of his mouth.
"Hello, Felicity."
She stood motionless, her brain was attempting to comprehend who she was seeing. "Oliver?"
It didn't take long for her to throw her arms around his neck and hold him tight, but it didn't last long when she heard him emit a soft groan that he failed to muffle. Her arms swiftly dropped to her sides and she took a step back, scanning his clothed body to examine him.
"What happened, Oliver?"
"You hugged me too hard." He winced as he took a step inside the apartment. The expression on her face was blank, and he knew that wasn't what she meant. "Can we not talk about it right now?"
Felicity wanted answers. How bad was he hurt? Was Ra's dead? What happened that caused him to be gone for so long? All these questions flooded her mind, but one thing she was certain of, he was home, he came back to her.
Felicity closed the door behind them and lightly took his hand, leading him into her living room. She waited for him to carefully take a seat before taking a spot beside him. Her eyes examined the clothes he was wearing that noticeably weren't his. The questions continued to pile up in her mind, she wasn't sure how much longer she could refrain from asking for specifics.
"We are definitely finishing this conversation later."
He placed an arm around her shoulders, then pressed his lips to the top of her blonde head. "I know." He whispered.
She closed her eyes and cautiously placed her head against his chest, listening intently to his beating heart. He would give her all, or at least most, of the answers she wanted later on, but for the time being, they sat with one another in silence. The hasty winds whistled fiercely through the air, the thunder roared causing slight shakes to the furniture, yet all of that had gone unnoticed. The both of them were only focused on each other, focusing on a moment they thought they would never get again.
Some time had passed, then Felicity lifted her head to look into his sharp blue eyes that not even the dim lighting from the candles could conceal. Oh, those blue eyes, how they made her heart have irregular palpitations that she feared would one day kill her. She densely swallowed and raised a hand to cup his cheek.
"Don't you dare leave me again or I will handcuff you to a bed." She commanded, until realizing that his brows arched and how that sounded. "By handcuff you to a bed, I mean make sure you don't take off and have a battle to the death, sort of thing, again. –Is he dead? Did you kill him? You're back, so you won, right? It's over?"
She couldn't help herself.
Oliver slowly blew out a breath from parted lips. "It's more complicated than that, Felicity."
"Okay, un-complicate it, then. What happened?"
He sharply exhaled an annoyed breath, knowing she wasn't going to let it go. "Can't it wait? I just got back. I'm here, with you, let's enjoy this right now."
She pulled back to get a better look at him, something in her gut was telling her that this wasn't right. "What are you not telling me?" The silence he was giving only made her that much more anxious, which caused her to stand. "Oliver!"
All that could be heard was the heavy rain attacking her windows. Her eyes remained locked on him as he sat in silence, staring off into space. This wasn't good, she knew it wasn't, but she needed to know. Her fear of what he was going to say next caused her eyes to mist, what could be so terrible that he—
"I have to join the league." He blurted out above a whisper, hesitantly lifting his gaze to meet hers.
Felicity's mouth dropped open and her eyes began to fill with tears. She couldn't believe what he was saying, did she hear him correctly? Maybe this was some sort of twisted dream she was having. "Please, tell me this is some sort of sick joke."
"I wish it were."
"You can't join the league, Oliver. How can you even entertain the idea?! They're murderers!"
"So am I!" he snapped back, causing her to fall silent, but her eyes remained crossly locked on him. "During our fight, Ra's stabbed me through the chest with his sword. I almost didn't survive, but I did." He paused a moment to gather the courage to utter the next part. "Now he wants me to take his place as Ra's al Ghul. If I don't, it puts all of you at risk. And I can't let that happen."
Felicity shook her head as she bit the inside of her cheek. The frustration was boiling within her, she wanted to punch him. He had just returned to her only for her to hear he would be leaving again, and will potentially be leading a group of killers. This was something she refused to accept. "No. No! You can't do this and you won't do this because this isn't you. We'll—we'll call John and Roy, we'll get together and come up with a plan. We just need a plan."
"Felicity…" Oliver softly spoke as he warily rose to his feet, hiding the physical pain a little better this time.
"No! You can't do this! You can't just go off to fight a battle to the death only to come back and say you're going to lead the very people who were fighting against! –What about us, your team? We need you. I need you!"
His jaw was clenched forcefully, to her surprise she hadn't heard his teeth crack.
A deep V formed in the center of his brows before taking a step closer to look down at her. "I'm doing this for you. All of you. To keep you safe! If I don't accept the offer, the league will be here to destroy every inch of this city, then kill all those who are closest to me. With me leading them, I can prevent those things from happening." His tone stern, yet soft as he spoke to her.
"Or with a plan in place, together we can put a stop to them without you having to sell your soul!"
He brought his hands up to cup her face, his eyes staring intensely into hers. He could see the immense pain behind those eyes, but a pain that nowhere near matched his. Seeing her this way, because of him, hurt Oliver to his core. "Do you think I want this? Do you think I want to lead a group of assassins and never see you, any of you, again?"
Her heart stopped beating as he spoke. His eyes, those piercing blue eyes, were finally masked with the ocean of pain he had been harboring. She could see that agony he could no longer hold back. It only pained her all that much more.
"Don't you think I would rather be here with you? John, Roy, Thea…" he whispered with grief in his tone. "I have to do this, Felicity. I can't let more people I love die because of me."
She shook her head softly, not realizing the tears that had rolled down her face. Her hands rose to rest on his wrists, in a sign of comfort. They were both in pain, but he clearly needed the comfort right now, though it was still frustrating that he was so adamant to do this without fighting for a way around it.
"We have taken down so many criminals. Overcame so many hurdles that seemed impossible to win and yet we did it. We did it together, Oliver. This situation is no different.—when we couldn't see a way out of a situation, we found one. We can do it again." She responded delicately with evident plea in her tone.
Oliver remained mute as his eyes remained lost in hers, his thumbs gently stroking away the streaks of water rolling down her cheeks. He knew that she meant what she said, and she was right, they had accomplished those things. If it wasn't for his team, his family, he wouldn't be where he was and the person that he was. He loved them all for that, especially Felicity. It was her that had changed him the most and he would forever be grateful.
Without warning, he leaned in and pressed his lips onto hers. Their mouths moved steadily in unison as he leaned in closer to deepen their kiss. It was a passionate, slow, kiss. One that almost caused her knees to buckle, and a chill to travel up her spine.
Oliver gradually pulled away and they both opened their eyes to look at one another. "I love you, Felicity."
"I love you, too."
He leaned in once more, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead before whispering, "I'm sorry."
Her heart sank.
He turned around and hurriedly let himself out of the apartment. She would have gone after him, but she couldn't move. Her body trembled, wanting to scream out at him to stop, yet she couldn't find the words. It was complicated to process what was happening right now, she couldn't believe that that had just happened. In the blink of an eye, Oliver was gone. And there she stood, alone.