"This is the worst." The wind rumpled Danny's unkempt hair as he sat on the side of the road with Barry and Ross.
"It's not that bad." Arin argued. He was staring at the deflated remnant of their van's rear tire.
Danny looked up and down the abandoned stretch of interstate. The blacktop was fenced in by large evergreen trees, the tips of which revealed dark ominous clouds rolling their way. "Really, Arin? Who are you trying to kid here? This is bar none the worst trip yet, with a capital ORST!"
"Its pretty bad." Barry agreed, distractedly. He was thumbing through a well-worn paperback.
"Not to be a negative Nancy," Danny continued, "but 'the suck' has been our theme for the past few days."
'The suck' was their way of referring to things that, while not catastrophic, were still difficult. There were a number of difficulties that arose on their trip. There was the air conditioning quitting on them as soon as they passed the boarder to Arizona. There were the nauseating "manly smells" that no one would take responsibility for. There was the mind numbing, endless spool of expressway as they drove cross-country. And now there was this flat tire that left the boys stranded. Ask them to produce a high quality - yet incomparably funny - web series Danny, Arin, Barry, and (to a lesser extent) Ross had no problem, but leave the group on the side of a rain slicked back-woods road in middle-America with only a rusted jack, a twenty-year-old spare tire, and their dainty physiques and you'd be more likely to get better results from a box of kittens.
"It'll be alright." Arin assured them, which was his job as leader of their group. He may have been lying a little bit, also his job as leader. "Ross, have you found a tow company or anything yet?"
Without looking up from his cell phone, Ross asked, "Was I supposed to be looking for one?"
"God-damn it Ross." Danny sighed, tiredly.
"We actually can't get service," Ross admitted with a smirk, and closed out the game he was playing. "Not this far out in… Where are we again?"
"New Jersey." Arin kicked the flat tire. The lack of cell service would explain why he hadn't heard from their tyrant of a producer, Jesse. Once they were able to get in touch with the tubby, micromanager that would be a whole new barrel of 'suck' to deal with. "Remember? For the Jersey Devil piece."
Ross said, "Sounds vaguely familiar. What's the Jersey Devil again?"
"It might be a dragon." Barry injected. It may have been something he already knew, having a plethora of unusual, supernatural facts in his head, or he could have gotten that bit of trivia from the book he was reading. It was titled, Angels to Zombies & Everything In-Between. Being the sound-guy/editor/researcher to their show left him little time for anything other than work.
"I think I see a car coming." Arin stretched his arms above his head to wave at the oncoming vehicle, not concerned that his stomach peeked out from under the hem of his navy t-shirt. To Ross he said, "Dude, it's a New Jersey legend. Supposedly the Devil has a big ol' goat head, and bat wings, and horns and shit. Danny has been rock hard about snagging this thing on film; it's a spook right in his home state."
"Ah, that would be half hard for the Devil. It is after all sphoo-kee." Danny corrected as he hopped up and started to wave at the car too. Dan was notorious for being faint of heart when it came to frightening stuff. It still amazed him how he landed in a career chasing things that went bump in the night.
"Or, it could be a drake." Barry added still staring at his book, and then thought a moment. "Dragon sounds cooler."
The car – actually a red Suburban – passed them. The boys looked chagrin, but then the SUV stopped suddenly and started to back up. Within moments it was pulled over to the side of the road in front of the boy's hooptie. The doors to the Suburban flew open and two girls dressed as fairies got out. Their vividly dyed nylon and wire framed wings, glittery make-up, and sheer costumes (while shocking) were a welcome contrast to the gloom of the afternoon.
"And now I am fully erect. Thank you, God, for sending us a car full of sexy, pixies." Danny's hands were still in mid-wave.
"Oh, wow!" one of the girls squealed as she came bouncing up to the boys. Her costume was mostly in hues of gold and copper. She was excitedly pointing at the sliding door of the boy's van. It artfully announced the foursome as the "The Ghoul Grumps" (The internet's most loved paranormal investigators). Above the text was a cartoon rendition of the show's hosts: Arin and Danny ala Ghostbuster style. "I was right! You are the Grumps!" She looked back at a third girl who had a bright pink Mohawk coming out of the driver's seat of their SUV. "They are the Grumps!"
"We definitely are the Ghoul Grumps." Arin smiled broadly at the newcomers.
The gold fairy continued to gush over the Grumps. "I've watched every one of your episodes, and love them all! Like the Snallygaster one, that had me so scared, I was screaming out loud. Didn't I scream, Linz?"
The second girl – Linz – was holding a wand and dressed in purple and burgundy jewel tones, nodded her agreement.
"That's one of my favorites. I actually got a scar on my arm from making that episode," Ross pulled up his shirt sleeve to reveal a faint, pink scar on his right bicep. "When Danny started screaming at a noise, we all ran and I fell with the camera. Luckily my camera didn't break, but I had to get three stitches." He proudly showed them three fingers for emphasis of his manliness.
"What are you guys doing?" Fairy number one questioned. "Are you filming an episode out here?"
"Well, that was the plan until…" Arin gestured to their disabled van.
"We can totally give you a ride!" Linz offered a little too eagerly. "Our town is just up the road. Just hop in Danika's car."
Danika, the driver with the hot pink hair, crossed her arms over her chest seeming none too happy about the idea. Her costume was simpler, in earthen tones, and she had streaks of brown and green on her face like war paint. "Or we could just call them a tow truck."
"No way," Linz and the other fairy whined.
"We have actual celebrities in our midst! We need to be hospitable, right Sara?"
"Hear that Dan?" Arin said in a tone similar to the enthusiastic fangirls', "We're celeb-Ra-tees."
The gold fairy - Sara grabbed Danny's hand and started to tug him toward her ride, "Plus, there is an awesome festival going on, you should come party with us."
Danny and Ross happily followed, but Arin wasn't too sure having noticed the scowl on the driver's face. "We don't want to be a bother." He told Danika. "If you could call us tow that would be great."
The darker fairy bit her lip for a moment. A fresh rain shower was starting. "No, it wouldn't be right to leave you stranded. You can come with us into town, and we'll get your van hauled in later."
"Awesome, come on Barry." Arin began to grab large, black bags that held their gear out of the van.
Barry ran a hand through his short brown hair. "So, many kidnapping begin like this."