ayu
I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don know I donknow idon't know
… … … …Prologue
Where am I?
I don't know…
I don't know anything! kaji – san… Kaji – san told me to face it… to not run away. How could I! I told myself to not…
"…Ikari – kun."
…get myself involved in this world too much. That's how I've always protected myself from the world. Nobody ever taught me how to be strong enough to bear this.
Yeah… it's all fault! I didn't kill him! You did!
How in the hell am I supposed to forgive you! You killed Touji! Youyouyouyouyou! I hate you!
" … …"
Mad? Insipid? …Foolish?
Better than this apocryphal world.
"Ayanami… tell me. How am I supposed to forgive father?"
"You couldn't, could you?"
It was foolish I know. She looked upon me with those emotionless red eyes and said nothing. Fool, I thought she might be thinking. She might even be pitying me. I was laughing and crying hysterically at the same time.
"…Ikari – kun." She said again in that same callous voice.
I wouldn't let her finish.
"Mother…if mother was here, would father be a little different?"
Souryu might tell me I'm just a weak little boy with an oedipus – complex if I say this.
Her gaze was as still as stone as she seemed to observe me. I've never seen a person – a girl – looking at me so steadily than now.
"…I'm sorry. I don't know what to say during these times. " She finally said something other than my name. It also seemed to be her most troubled statement to free upon.
"Hah…haha…" Laughing dryly, I covered my hands with my hands. Black. Black was all I wanted to see right now, triggering my memories from the past.
That's about it for the prologue. If you didn't know what oedipus – complex meant – it's the positive libidinal feelings of a child toward the parent of the opposite sex and hostile or jealous feelings toward the parent of the same sex that may be a source of adult personality disorder when unresolved.
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