There's More To Living Than Being Alive

Chapter One: I Could Picture Myself In Monica's Apartment

Six in the evening, clutching a pillow tight to my chest. My eyes were closed, the volume to the tv turned up so damn loud, it made the walls shake. Of course, I knew very well that it wasn't the tv doing that. No, I knew. I played innocent to both mom and dad, not like daddy really cared, but they didn't know that I knew. That I understood the problems that were going on, that I knew what he was really doing when he brought his new interns in to "interview" upstairs in his bedroom.

He wasn't that high up in the company.

The cool air poured in through my open window. I liked the way the rain felt, the mist it created. It was calming, relaxing; it gave me hope. Maybe, things could be okay for a few moments. Maybe, the time I spent at home didn't have to be miserable. Maybe I didn't have to put on an act for Kori and the twins, and for mommy and daddy. Maybe I could just... Genuinely be happy.

An icy tear escaped my full lashes. I didn't normally cry, but lately I found myself doing it more often than anything. After Tyler and I broke up, I felt devastated. We had been dating for only a few months, but he wanted to persue another girl, and I was just in the way. So he dumped me. Maybe I had it coming, I did break his arm, and we were arguing a lot before the split. I didn't want to believe it though. With Ellie so caught up on Embry, I needed something good going for me. Tyler was it.

"Oh... Oh John!"

I covered my ears, clenching my messy blond hair tight between my fingers. I cringed, stumbling off my pink blanket and onto the floor, closer to the tv. I rested my forehead against the vibrated tv, my hair sticking to the static of the screen, my eyes cosed.

"So no one told you life was gunna be this way~ You're broke, your job's a joke, your love-life's D.O.A! It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year~"

The familiar Friends themesong blared through my eardrums and the mist flooded in through the windows and I disappeared. Both Kori's and my beds both disappeared, the colourful rugs, the whole pink and purple themed room was gone. I was thrown into the episode of Friends before me, sitting in between Chandler and Phoebe (my two favourite characters) and nodding my head to what everyone said as they frantically moved around Monica's apartment.

That was how I wished things were. My own apartment, sharing with my best friend since I could remember, Ellie. Her boyfriend, Embry could be in the apartment across the hall, living with Jake-a close friend of mine ever since my first trip down on La Push- and Sam and Emily could be thrown in there elsewhere. They were already betrothed, a couple, so it was easier just to throw them in. Plus I liked them. I remembered first meeting Emily; it was she, Ellie, and I and we went to the mall and we hit it off just fine. Ever since then, the three of us have had fun, girly times together: sleepovers, make-overs, mall trips, and all other things girly. Even if Emily was a bit older than us, she was still a girl!

I had one year until I was legal. One year, and we could go off and get our own apartment somewhere. Sure, we really didn't have much money, but... Well... I don't know. It just sounded like such a great idea.

"I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour~ I'll be there for you, like I've been there before~ I'll be there for you, 'cuz you're there for me too~"

Some commercial started up, and the vibration from my cellphone pulled me away from my scene. I rushed over and flipped the phone open, smiling at seeing my best friend's photo. Her contorted profile picture; One winking, forest green eye, the other eye covered by her dark curls, her lips pulled over her teeth in a strange...face. It was priceless, and I was surprised she actually let me keep it.

"Hey, El." I greeted loudly, over the screaming tv.

I faintly heard her cough into the speaker, and finally mummble a "hey."

"What's up?"

"Being sick, you?"

"Being bored." I sat towards the window, leaning my head out. It wasn't safe, but it was easier to hear that way. "Unsickafy, you goof."

"I wish."

I smiled a little, sniffling, and rubbing my cheek. "Me too."

And I really did. Mainly for my own selfish reasons though. I missed my best friend, plus I needed to get out of the house. Desperatly. And who better to go out with than you best friend?

She and I drifted a bit after Tyler and Embry. We were so caught up in our boys, we hardly had time for each other. Sure, we made time, sometimes, but other times it was pretty hard. If that made sense. Before the boys, we did everything together, almost quite literally. We were each apart of the other's family, I even called her parents "mom" and "dad." I still did, of course. And they'd still let me in the house without question. They even offered to make me a key for how often I stayed around there, which wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Ellie had it good and she didn't know it. Well, after her near death experience in the woods, she came to terms with how good she had it, but beforehand, no. She was always complaining about how overprotective her parents were, how uptight. But.. I'd kill to be in her shoes. She knew exactly what she wanted from life, now. She had a great,loving boyfriend, wonderful parents, and a stable home. Sure, my house was pretty big and... Clean, but it was far from perfect.

No matter how perfect I tended to play it off as.

We chatted for a bit, until Ellie's mom came and yelled at her to get some rest, and she had to go. I missed all of Friends, but I also missed the rest of the interview- So the slamming door downstairs told me, plus the quiet the surrounded the house. I shut the tv off, and threw myself on my bed, clutching a fuzzy, red pillow close to my chest.

The door opened and closed again, I stared at my closed door for the longest while, listening. My dad's voice sounded loud, he began bragging to one of his partner's on the phone.

It made me sick.

Reaching for my phone, I typed the message "meet me at the movies" and sent it to a random contact on my phone. Then I bounced off my bed, threw on some shoes, and shoved my large, red headphones over my ears. Turning the volume up super loud, I grabbed money from my music box, and danced down the steps to "Fever" by Adam Lambert.

"Going to the movies!" I yelled.

I couldn't hear my dad's response, but I'm sure it wasn't important anyway. I danced down the walkway to my car, strutting with my head high as I got in, blasting the radio and turning my iPod off instantly and pulling out of the drive-way with my windows down.

3 a.m. by Eminem started to play, I pulled my sunglasses out and over my eyes, and checked my phone for the reply message.

"See you soon!"

I smiled a little. I hadn't seen Jake in a while.

A/N: So this is my Lindsay story! The follow up to "I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes)" about her best friend Ellie. You would probably get a better feel of the characters, some of them, from reading that first, so I hope you get around to doing that.

Also, I'm afraid this one may not be as updated as frequently as I did with the Ellie story, but I do have most of what will happen already planned out. When I get a chapter done, you'll be sure to know, I hope. ... I'm rambling.

Anyways, this story is dedicated to GASPLudwig, one of my very best friends and personal favourite authors, so I advise you to check her out too! She's great for a good Harry Potter or Twilight story!